why

[hiryugaeshi]

Who: A mysterious masked hero, and you!
When: Throughout the month, honestly!
Where: Polgar and Blanc
What: The mysterious masked hero takes on Who's Naughty? Who's Nice? and also messes around in the festivities.
Rating: Extremely Silly



Destroy Bad Heroism

[ Anyone looking into the black market sale of stolen gifts may very well find their investigation interrupted by the sound of laughter from above. ]

HAHAHA!

[ If they should look up, who could it possibly be but the Savior of Orleans Weird Bird Cutting Man Tsubame Gaeshi Person? But of course, it's not that SAMURAI, for when prompted for a name by the Zeroes at hand, he so answers: ]

My name is Island Mask, and even if God and Buddha may forgive you, you won't find me so accommodating!

[ What's a "Buddha?" The question lingers in the air among those who have never encountered that particular religion, but there's little time to consider it as Island Mask leaps from the rooftop and lands on top of a table filled with stolen gifts, sending them scattering in every direction! ]

But let it never be said that I'm not a fair man! I'll give you all up to the count of three to prepare yourselves!

[ What even? ]

REGEND OF THE SAMURAI

Mmm, I could definitely get used to this land. Nature in every direction, surrounded by beautiful women, and a penchant for battle.

[ "Before we fight, let us make merry in the name of Gladia!" So the queen had declared, but really, for certain parts of the population, is there a difference? Not for Sasaki Kojirou Island Mask, who has decided that he couldn't possibly wait until the games begin proper and has joined every single minor tournament and brawl he could find.

And so he stands atop a crowd of crumpled bodies, sword over his shoulder, obviously rather pleased with himself despite the mask covering most of his features. ]

Comments

[hiryugaeshi]

I haven't had the chance to count to three, and you've already attacked? Should I commend your courage or despair for your foolishness?

[ The attack got almost casually swatted aside by Island Mask! In fact, the mana seems to have been absorbed by the mysterious hero! Probably a Holy Knight. Definitely not managing to hide his identity very well. ]

It is in these moments, o unknown wolfkin, that we see the true nature of our foes.

[ He may be laying it on just a bit thick here, but Island Mask is always dramatic so it's probably fine? ]

To strike before the bell rings, whether it be brave or foolish, certainly means that I should feel no shame in cutting them down!

[notwagging]

... I mean, they clearly stole stuff and try to pretend to be... you know, us.

[ But not exactly quite like them. Still, the sentiment of stealing and spreading holiday not-cheer isn't lost on Keaton, who quickly sweeps in and punches a guy once in the face, then once in the chest. No way these false heroes are going to do anything to ruin their reputation any further! ]

Also, what are you trying to say!

[ Simplify it! Besides, Keaton is partly a wolf. Your mask does NOTHING! ]

[hiryugaeshi]

Ah, but there is still honour amongst thieves and actors, no?

[ Island Mask feels very strongly about that, even if it doesn't sound like it! Not everyone who takes on the name of another hero is a bad person, okay? Okay.

But mostly he bashes one of the Zeroes in the face with the hilt of his sword, sending the guy falling to the ground. ]

All I mean is that I must give them a chance to act, so I might respond appropriately. It's not a terribly difficult subject.

[ Look, don't make Island Mask give a lecture in the middle of a battle okay? Even if they do clearly outmatch the Zeroes. ]

[notwagging]

Thieves and actors are the same thing?! [ HOLY... he's learning so much in such a short time. Too bad Keaton permanently lives in a state of fluff and bugs, so honestly nothing Kojirou ISLAND MASK says sticks. ]

There's nothing wrong with hitting them hard the first time so that they don't get a chance to attack! Aren't you strong enough to do that?

[ Clearly, the game mechanics art of war is different between them both, especially as the wolf decides to jump on the guy that Kojirou dispatched and smack him in the face a few times. ]

Also, why are you wearing that mask?

[hiryugaeshi]

A good thief certainly knows how to act. [ Kojirou, why can't you just say no and declare Keaton totally ridiculous?

Perhaps he just doesn't want to crush a puppy's hopes and dreams. ]

I certainly am, which is why I do not do so. It would hardly be fair, and where's the entertainment in that?

[ Duh. ]

As for this mask, they're typically worn to hide one's identity, no?

[notwagging]

Yeah, but does a good actor know how to steal things? [ What kind of inane philosophical bullcrap is Kojirou spewing and why is Keaton even trying to make sense of it all? ]

Fair? You care about fair? [ Full stop, as the guy he was beating up looks like he can't take another punch. It's probably the part where his nose is basically on his forehead. No, wait. That's just a lump. Oops. ]

From... who, exactly? It's kind of obvious who you are, isn't it?

[ But is he going to say it loud? Spoil the surprise? Tell the entire world about how silly Kojirou looks? ]

[hiryugaeshi]

No, I don't suppose the relationship works that way.

[ All good thieves are actors, but not all actors are thieves! Unless you count their fee, which might very well be daylight robbery. ]

Why would I not care about fair? Is that not an integral part of acting with honour, and what is a hero who doesn't have that much?

[ Also, fair fights are way more fun, Kojirou thinks to himself as he beans another Zero across the nose. Definitely the nose this time, he can hear it break. ]

Most people can be confused by obscuring the face, especially those who aren't familiar with what's underneath the mask. Besides, not all of us are dogs.

[notwagging]

Me. That's me, I don't care about fair.

[ FAIR IS FOR NERDS! The broken nosed fake hero unfortunately receives a quick jab to the spine, then is grabbed by the waist and immediately suplexed because that's something Keaton can totally do. They're not really built like strong fighters anyway--- it must be the magic that perplexed the general populace. ]

Also, I'm not a dog. I'm a wolf. There's a difference!

[ Unlike 'fair', dogs are for everyone, just like wolves. ]

You didn't change your voice, by the way. That's a pretty dead giveaway.

[ With that, he does the unthinkable--- by going right up to Kojirou and giving the mask a poke. Poke poke. ]

[hiryugaeshi]

Where is the enjoyment in that? You can't decide who is the better fighter like that.

[ Says the Assassin who hates jumping people from behind. What a weirdo.

Meanwhile, he handily knocks out a dude with a bolt of lightning leaping from his sword. Look at these people trying to discuss the philosophy of kung fu fighting while actually fighting. ]

Ah, I suppose that is true. I've never thought of my voice as anything special, but it would be a sign.

[ And his long sword, and his robes, and his everything honestly. It's a shit disguise.

Then Keaton starts poking his mask and... ]

What are you doing?

[notwagging]

The better fighter is the one that lives in the end, isn't it?

[ It's not like Keaton doesn't know what 'honor' and 'enjoyment' and 'better' mean. He's a practical Wolfskin with killer instinct! Even if it means talking a lot during fighting, which honestly isn't exactly a foreign concept among his army. ]

But hey. If you're 'better', you shouldn't need to hide underneath a mask. So why don't you take it off?

[ And with a devilish grin: ]

Or I could take it off for you.

[ Hopefully he means the mask. ]

[hiryugaeshi]

Living is hardly the same as fighting. I might have lived a long and fruitful life if I had fought simply to survive.

[ Instead he died without anyone knowing his name, without anyone to carry on his legacy. As he says, a fitting end for a fool who got enraptured by the sword. ]

But I certainly don't see what my costume has to do with my skills in battle.

[ Don't take off the mask. ]