[OPEN] what can I say?

[sealeted]

Who: Hakuno and you
When: From the day after they leave the forest up until November 19
Where: All over the map
What: In the wake of the infection, Hakuno returns to her true calling: fetchquests.
Rating: G until one of you heathens spoils it


i. partners in crime

[The pair of bandits who at one point operated under the pseudonyms of Augustine and Chacon, according to the locals, are reportedly masters of disguise. Hakuno isn't entirely certain how well they can disguise their matagot, but she's determined to do her best, all the same. Chróma algae isn't exactly something they can afford to just overlook at this point.

As a King, it stings bitterly that she can't help the other Heroes in need.

So what she can do, she will.]

Where to start...


ii. the good egg

[Gisela is beautiful.

Hakuno keenly feels that, every time she comes here. Vietnam's inn is definitely where she'll make a pit stop after fulfilling her task, but right now she has stopped and settled at the edge of a copse of trees, a homemade lunch spread out over her lap. Before she has to deal with literally petrifying bird crap, she's going to enjoy the scenery.

And her food. She might even share, if you feel like asking.]


iii. heart of stone

...

[Hakuno isn't exactly thrilled to be back in the thick of a forest, all things considered. But, all things considered, she's not one to put her own comfort above the necessities of others. Really, she's dealt with worse, so there isn't even a hitch in her stride as she wanders around.

After a while, she has to stop, if only because blindly looking is obviously not the best method.]

...I'm not really in a laughing mood, honestly. I don't suppose you know any jokes?


iv. the number one fan

“There once was a beautiful mermaid princess who had just reached her fifteenth year. She rescued a prince from the stormy sea and fell in love with him at first sight. But he was a person of the land."

[If you thought Hakuno Kishinami would pass up a chance to talk about the tales of Hans Christen Andersen, you're a fool and a charlatan. She recites the story slowly, easily, as if the words are before her as clear as day. There's a melancholy air about her, which may or may not have to do with the story itself.]

"The princess hurriedly made a deal with a sea witch, and received legs in exchange for her beautiful voice. Even still, her beloved prince went on to marry another girl. How pitifully the little mermaid princess cried. Her fate, to transform into sea foam and disappear if her love went unrealized —”

[She had picked this story out first, when she first heard Andersen's name. She wonders now if some part of her knew the same ending would be waiting for her, in the end.

She sighs faintly, inspecting the fruit she earned.]

..."the immortal masterpiece," I called it once, I think. It's a story of unrewarded love. Would you believe its author nearly called it a comedy when I talked to him about it?


wildcard

[If there's another scenario you want, just let me know! I'm always up for basically anything.]

Comments

iii

[guerrilla]

...Well, sure, but I dunno if they're actually funny. The old man didn't think so, anyway.

[Then again, Blackmore wouldn't know what funny was if it jumped up and bit him.]

[sealeted]

In his defense, it wasn't really a very lighthearted time.

[Don't you know there was a War on?]

[guerrilla]

That's exactly why it was so important to lighten the mood. The atmosphere was tense enough between us, but he didn't do himself any favors by being so uptight, too...

[He said it himself, back in that elevator. A bowstring wound too tight will eventually snap.

While this particular bowstring didn't, it's only because it was cut before it could.]

...Well, no sense in talking about that now. This is pretty much the opposite of a joke.

[sealeted]

Yeah.

[She... honestly did have a few moments back in the Moon Cell where she actually laughed, but most of it involved looped Preliminaries that may or may not have actually happened. She's very certain that dwelling on that place is the very last thing that will make her so much as crack a smile, though.]

That aside, let's hear one. Now you've got me curious.

[guerrilla]

Right.

[Time for some ye olde medieval humor.]

...So, an especially well-fed abbot, while on his way to the city, asked a nearby peasant if he'd be able to get through the gate. What he wanted to know was whether or not the peasant thought he'd make it to the gates before they shut for the night, but the peasant looked at him and said, "If a cartful of hay can fit, why wouldn't you?"

[He has a plethora of much dirtier jokes than this one, but he's not sure she's the kind of person who'd laugh at them.]

[sealeted]

Pfft.

[...well, at the very least, she has to press her lips together and turn aside to smother a little grin.]

I guess fat jokes have been around since the dawn of time.

[guerrilla]

[Well, it isn't good enough to summon the carbuncle, but it's still a victory...maybe.]

The dawn of time? Come on, I'm not that old.

[For the first time, he almost wishes Nero were here. Even if her jokes weren't funny, she'd certainly have the panache to make them seem like they were. That's the sort of impression he got from her, anyway.]

Maybe I should just have Marian tickle you? She's got all those feathers, after all. She might be good for something for once.

[He says about the creature that literally acts as a communicator for him.]

[sealeted]

No, you're not.

[Gilgamesh is, though, and it's a super sore spot.

He should remember that, the next time they clash.]

Don't be rude. I put poor Marian to work more than you do.

[guerrilla]

If anyone is "poor" here, it's me for having to put up with her. She starts raising a fuss every time someone gets too close to me for her comfort. It's a miracle those other birds didn't...

[He trails off, suddenly faced with a dilemma. On one hand, Hakuno might think the mental image of him covered in robins is funny enough to laugh at. On the other hand...she might think the mental image of him covered in robins is funny enough to laugh at.

Maybe he'll try to think of something else before resorting to that.]

...Well, that's not important. She probably appreciates that I don't use her too often considering how many little things from you she spits up. I'm being nice by giving her a break.

[sealeted]

'Other birds'?

[Robin, you poor fool. You can't just leave a sentence hanging like that. You know it only makes her more interested.]

Is this about animals and Bishops, or the resurgence of those old lady-killing ways of yours?

[guerrilla]

Before I answer that, I'm curious. Which do you think it was?

[He thinks Hakuno's reaching a little by interpreting "birds" as "women", honestly.]

[sealeted]

[Wow, it's not her fault he can't keep up with his own country's vernacular?]

Probably the former. I still have trouble imagining you letting strangers get that close.

[guerrilla]

[He's very sorry for dying centuries before it became popularized as slang.]

Really? It's not getting all that close, though.

[Not in the ways that matter, anyway.]

[sealeted]

...?

[Hakuno tilts her head to one side, her brow furrowing.]

What do you mean?

[guerrilla]

I mean I couldn't tell you a single thing about any of the girls I've picked up. I don't know what they liked to do, or what kind of foods they liked, or whether or not they were upset when I wasn't there in the morning.

[He hopes not, but realizes there were probably at least a few who were.]

Hell, I don't even remember most of their names. You can't really say you're close to someone if you spend a few hours together and never so much as speak to each other again, right?

[sealeted]

.....................................well.

Yes. That's true.

[She coughs, feeling a bit awkward now.]

I, um... I meant letting them literally close, though.

[guerrilla]

...Right.

[Oops. That's what he has more difficulty with, really, so he'd assumed that was what she meant...]

It's not that weird, is it? I let you crawl all over me the first night I was here, so I feel like you're probably the last person who can say that.

[sealeted]

I didn't do that.

[...she pauses.]

Did I? I remember getting a piggyback for sure, but I'm not certain how much after that actually happened.

[guerrilla]

You put your head in my lap and fell asleep on me.

[So maybe not literally crawling all over him, but close enough that he feels justified saying it.]

[sealeted]

Oh, okay, yeah, I do remember that. I guess I didn't actually kiss you, then?

[guerrilla]

...No, that happened too. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

[He'd been hoping she forgot.]

[sealeted]

By my estimate, I've kissed you something like five times by now. I think my delicate sensibilities can withstand the shock.

[Nope.

She totally remembered, she just didn't want to spook him off by bringing it up.]

[guerrilla]

[Robin stops to count in his head. That seems about right...]

And you still haven't gotten any better at it. That's amazing.

[Has he done it...has he successfully steered the conversation away from birds?

Probably not.]

[sealeted]

[She knows what he's trying to do, which is why she isn't taking offense.]

Well, mana-sharing kisses are pretty much spur of the moment, you know? If it were a kiss for the sake of a kiss, it would be different. It's not like you've been more responsive than the average tree each time, after all.

[guerrilla]

Oh, so you've kissed enough trees to be able to make a comparison? And I thought I loved nature.

[stop him]