[OPEN] what can I say?

[sealeted]

Who: Hakuno and you
When: From the day after they leave the forest up until November 19
Where: All over the map
What: In the wake of the infection, Hakuno returns to her true calling: fetchquests.
Rating: G until one of you heathens spoils it


i. partners in crime

[The pair of bandits who at one point operated under the pseudonyms of Augustine and Chacon, according to the locals, are reportedly masters of disguise. Hakuno isn't entirely certain how well they can disguise their matagot, but she's determined to do her best, all the same. Chróma algae isn't exactly something they can afford to just overlook at this point.

As a King, it stings bitterly that she can't help the other Heroes in need.

So what she can do, she will.]

Where to start...


ii. the good egg

[Gisela is beautiful.

Hakuno keenly feels that, every time she comes here. Vietnam's inn is definitely where she'll make a pit stop after fulfilling her task, but right now she has stopped and settled at the edge of a copse of trees, a homemade lunch spread out over her lap. Before she has to deal with literally petrifying bird crap, she's going to enjoy the scenery.

And her food. She might even share, if you feel like asking.]


iii. heart of stone

...

[Hakuno isn't exactly thrilled to be back in the thick of a forest, all things considered. But, all things considered, she's not one to put her own comfort above the necessities of others. Really, she's dealt with worse, so there isn't even a hitch in her stride as she wanders around.

After a while, she has to stop, if only because blindly looking is obviously not the best method.]

...I'm not really in a laughing mood, honestly. I don't suppose you know any jokes?


iv. the number one fan

“There once was a beautiful mermaid princess who had just reached her fifteenth year. She rescued a prince from the stormy sea and fell in love with him at first sight. But he was a person of the land."

[If you thought Hakuno Kishinami would pass up a chance to talk about the tales of Hans Christen Andersen, you're a fool and a charlatan. She recites the story slowly, easily, as if the words are before her as clear as day. There's a melancholy air about her, which may or may not have to do with the story itself.]

"The princess hurriedly made a deal with a sea witch, and received legs in exchange for her beautiful voice. Even still, her beloved prince went on to marry another girl. How pitifully the little mermaid princess cried. Her fate, to transform into sea foam and disappear if her love went unrealized —”

[She had picked this story out first, when she first heard Andersen's name. She wonders now if some part of her knew the same ending would be waiting for her, in the end.

She sighs faintly, inspecting the fruit she earned.]

..."the immortal masterpiece," I called it once, I think. It's a story of unrewarded love. Would you believe its author nearly called it a comedy when I talked to him about it?


wildcard

[If there's another scenario you want, just let me know! I'm always up for basically anything.]

Comments

[sealeted]

Oh, okay, yeah, I do remember that. I guess I didn't actually kiss you, then?

[guerrilla]

...No, that happened too. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

[He'd been hoping she forgot.]

[sealeted]

By my estimate, I've kissed you something like five times by now. I think my delicate sensibilities can withstand the shock.

[Nope.

She totally remembered, she just didn't want to spook him off by bringing it up.]

[guerrilla]

[Robin stops to count in his head. That seems about right...]

And you still haven't gotten any better at it. That's amazing.

[Has he done it...has he successfully steered the conversation away from birds?

Probably not.]

[sealeted]

[She knows what he's trying to do, which is why she isn't taking offense.]

Well, mana-sharing kisses are pretty much spur of the moment, you know? If it were a kiss for the sake of a kiss, it would be different. It's not like you've been more responsive than the average tree each time, after all.

[guerrilla]

Oh, so you've kissed enough trees to be able to make a comparison? And I thought I loved nature.

[stop him]

[sealeted]

No, but I've kissed enough men to know when somebody freezes up.

[Shots fired.]

[guerrilla]

You can't say that when one of them literally only happened because you froze me up in the first place.

[It was probably the best thing to do, but that doesn't mean he isn't going to find a way to whine about it.]

[sealeted]

At that point you were more likely to tear my throat open with your teeth than kiss back, so I'm not sure you have a leg to stand on there.

[Sheesh. Which of them lived to nominal adulthood, again?]

[guerrilla]

I sure didn't after you paralyzed them, anyway.

[Adulthood is subjective.

He's been trying to get a laugh out of her this whole time, but maybe biting sarcasm isn't her thing...? This is a lot easier to do when the girl he's talking to is an airhead.]

[sealeted]

...did you just pun at me?

[Congratulations, that does actually get a short, soft laugh of incredulity.]

[guerrilla]

[Was that good enough for the carbuncle...? He doesn't see anything, but it might just be taking a minute to show itself.]

You walked right into it. I couldn't resist.

[He could take the pun one step further, but that might be overdoing it.]

So is it the pun that's funny or that I'm the one who made it?

[He asks just in case the carbuncle needs something a little more. Getting sidetracked by a conversation would be fun, but they do have a mission here.]

[sealeted]

It caught me off-guard.

[There's a faint smile lingering, though, so he very well may be on the right track.]

We don't usually get to be light-hearted like this.

[guerrilla]

[That's mostly his fault, so Robin isn't really sure how to respond to that.

Maybe the best thing to do is just make sure he doesn't kill the mood this time, like he usually does.]

Yeah, it's nice. I wasn't sure about this job at first, but I never really had the opportunity to just waste time with someone I liked during my lifetime.

[It's such a mundane thing, but it's the moments that most people take for granted that Robin values most.]

You try telling me a joke this time.

[It'll give him time to think of something else to try, and he's in a pretty good mood, so if there's ever a time to get him to laugh it'd be now.]

[sealeted]

[DID HE JUST SAY THAT HE—

Oh gosh.

Oh gosh?!]

U-um... okay, uh, give me a second...

[Oh jeeze, oh jeeze, she better not call attention to it... she better not spook him off...!]

Um... hm... Well, I heard this from one of the soldiers back in Gammon, but you might appreciate it.

[...well, maybe.]

A duke was hunting in the forest and he came across a tree. On it, targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow. "Who is this incredibly fine archer?" cried the duke. "I must find him!"

[She may or may not be doing a Leo B. Harwey impression for the duke.]

After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted he shot the arrows in the center of all the targets.

"You didn't just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?" asked the duke worriedly.

"No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces, I swear."

"That is truly astonishing," said the duke. "I hereby admit you into my service." The boy thanked him profusely. "But I must ask one favor in return," the duke continued. "You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot."

[She pauses, for the punchline.]

"Well," said the boy, "first I fire the arrow at the tree, and then I paint the target around it."

[guerrilla]

[He knows what he said. It's hard to be friends with someone you don't like, after all, and since he's already used the f word this just seems like a matter of course - for all the thinhs he overreacts to, this probably wouldn't be one of them.

Robin comes very close to laughing at the joke, covering his mouth with his hand to hide the grin on his face out of instinct.]

I should've thought of that when I was a kid. He's going places.

[But no, he put hard work and effort into his attempts to learn archery like a chump.]

[sealeted]

I thought you'd like that one.

[A plucky forest brat with a bow and arrow, outfoxing a noble...

She thought it might get at least a tiny chuckle.]

It is a pretty ingenious trick, for a little kid.

[guerrilla]

You said you heard it from a soldier in Gammon?

[Was it one of them...

Maybe he's better off not knowing. He couldn't fuel his (probably ironic, at this point) loathing of a certain group of Gammonian soldiers knowing one of them had such a good joke up his sleeve.]

Soldiers probably have a lot of good ones. If I'd known I'd need to make someone laugh, I'd have spent a little more time socializing with them.

[Oh well. Hindsight continues to be 20/20. At this rate he might have to try the bird story after all.]

[sealeted]

[She had no way of knowing at the time. The soldier wasn't gawping at her outfit, so at the very least it wasn't Henry.

...it may have been Samson, but who knows? Certainly not Hakuno.]

Well, there's still time. You might need to again in the future, so the next chance we get you should give it a go.

[guerrilla]

...Maybe.

[It isn't a no.]

But you're not being very subtle. If you think I should get out more, you can say it.

[He tries very hard to make it clear that he isn't upset by the implication, despite how he words it.]

...In any case, it's my turn to try to make you laugh, so give me a minute to come up with something.

[sealeted]

I do, actually. We should go out together sometime. You know, to some place a bit more populated than a forest, that isn't also our school.

[It might help ease him into it if there's a friendly face with him, and the opportunity to leave whenever.]

I'm ready whenever you are.

[guerrilla]

I'll leave where we go up to you.

[Giving her that much power might be a mistake.]

Alright, what's the difference between a drunkard and a criminal about to be executed?

[Why is he joking about something like this...]

[sealeted]

The difference...

[This is still better than them joking about how she could hypothetically kill him.]

...the best I can come up with is something about being 'fit to be tied'.

[guerrilla]

One of them takes a drop to live, and the other one takes a drop to die.

[At least he thinks he's funny???]

[sealeted]

That's terrible.

[...but her shoulders are twitching.]