[OPEN] what can I say?

[sealeted]

Who: Hakuno and you
When: From the day after they leave the forest up until November 19
Where: All over the map
What: In the wake of the infection, Hakuno returns to her true calling: fetchquests.
Rating: G until one of you heathens spoils it


i. partners in crime

[The pair of bandits who at one point operated under the pseudonyms of Augustine and Chacon, according to the locals, are reportedly masters of disguise. Hakuno isn't entirely certain how well they can disguise their matagot, but she's determined to do her best, all the same. Chróma algae isn't exactly something they can afford to just overlook at this point.

As a King, it stings bitterly that she can't help the other Heroes in need.

So what she can do, she will.]

Where to start...


ii. the good egg

[Gisela is beautiful.

Hakuno keenly feels that, every time she comes here. Vietnam's inn is definitely where she'll make a pit stop after fulfilling her task, but right now she has stopped and settled at the edge of a copse of trees, a homemade lunch spread out over her lap. Before she has to deal with literally petrifying bird crap, she's going to enjoy the scenery.

And her food. She might even share, if you feel like asking.]


iii. heart of stone

...

[Hakuno isn't exactly thrilled to be back in the thick of a forest, all things considered. But, all things considered, she's not one to put her own comfort above the necessities of others. Really, she's dealt with worse, so there isn't even a hitch in her stride as she wanders around.

After a while, she has to stop, if only because blindly looking is obviously not the best method.]

...I'm not really in a laughing mood, honestly. I don't suppose you know any jokes?


iv. the number one fan

“There once was a beautiful mermaid princess who had just reached her fifteenth year. She rescued a prince from the stormy sea and fell in love with him at first sight. But he was a person of the land."

[If you thought Hakuno Kishinami would pass up a chance to talk about the tales of Hans Christen Andersen, you're a fool and a charlatan. She recites the story slowly, easily, as if the words are before her as clear as day. There's a melancholy air about her, which may or may not have to do with the story itself.]

"The princess hurriedly made a deal with a sea witch, and received legs in exchange for her beautiful voice. Even still, her beloved prince went on to marry another girl. How pitifully the little mermaid princess cried. Her fate, to transform into sea foam and disappear if her love went unrealized —”

[She had picked this story out first, when she first heard Andersen's name. She wonders now if some part of her knew the same ending would be waiting for her, in the end.

She sighs faintly, inspecting the fruit she earned.]

..."the immortal masterpiece," I called it once, I think. It's a story of unrewarded love. Would you believe its author nearly called it a comedy when I talked to him about it?


wildcard

[If there's another scenario you want, just let me know! I'm always up for basically anything.]

Comments

iii

[guerrilla]

...Well, sure, but I dunno if they're actually funny. The old man didn't think so, anyway.

[Then again, Blackmore wouldn't know what funny was if it jumped up and bit him.]

[sealeted]

In his defense, it wasn't really a very lighthearted time.

[Don't you know there was a War on?]

[guerrilla]

That's exactly why it was so important to lighten the mood. The atmosphere was tense enough between us, but he didn't do himself any favors by being so uptight, too...

[He said it himself, back in that elevator. A bowstring wound too tight will eventually snap.

While this particular bowstring didn't, it's only because it was cut before it could.]

...Well, no sense in talking about that now. This is pretty much the opposite of a joke.

[sealeted]

Yeah.

[She... honestly did have a few moments back in the Moon Cell where she actually laughed, but most of it involved looped Preliminaries that may or may not have actually happened. She's very certain that dwelling on that place is the very last thing that will make her so much as crack a smile, though.]

That aside, let's hear one. Now you've got me curious.

[guerrilla]

Right.

[Time for some ye olde medieval humor.]

...So, an especially well-fed abbot, while on his way to the city, asked a nearby peasant if he'd be able to get through the gate. What he wanted to know was whether or not the peasant thought he'd make it to the gates before they shut for the night, but the peasant looked at him and said, "If a cartful of hay can fit, why wouldn't you?"

[He has a plethora of much dirtier jokes than this one, but he's not sure she's the kind of person who'd laugh at them.]

[sealeted]

Pfft.

[...well, at the very least, she has to press her lips together and turn aside to smother a little grin.]

I guess fat jokes have been around since the dawn of time.

[guerrilla]

[Well, it isn't good enough to summon the carbuncle, but it's still a victory...maybe.]

The dawn of time? Come on, I'm not that old.

[For the first time, he almost wishes Nero were here. Even if her jokes weren't funny, she'd certainly have the panache to make them seem like they were. That's the sort of impression he got from her, anyway.]

Maybe I should just have Marian tickle you? She's got all those feathers, after all. She might be good for something for once.

[He says about the creature that literally acts as a communicator for him.]

[sealeted]

No, you're not.

[Gilgamesh is, though, and it's a super sore spot.

He should remember that, the next time they clash.]

Don't be rude. I put poor Marian to work more than you do.

[guerrilla]

If anyone is "poor" here, it's me for having to put up with her. She starts raising a fuss every time someone gets too close to me for her comfort. It's a miracle those other birds didn't...

[He trails off, suddenly faced with a dilemma. On one hand, Hakuno might think the mental image of him covered in robins is funny enough to laugh at. On the other hand...she might think the mental image of him covered in robins is funny enough to laugh at.

Maybe he'll try to think of something else before resorting to that.]

...Well, that's not important. She probably appreciates that I don't use her too often considering how many little things from you she spits up. I'm being nice by giving her a break.

iv

[babbylon]

Certainly, I would.

[Gilgamesh eyes said piece of fruit with interest. It's unlike anything he's ever seen, and an eerily pleasant scent wafts from it... but he's no savage so he minds his hands for once and just laughs in his typical condescending manner. Fairy tales were all the same, really.]

After all, how pathetic is it to fall for a man and fail so utterly? Even after consorting with that witch, her dedication proved sorely lacking.

[sealeted]

"A princess, obsessed with a seething delusion, finally going into a one-track rampage, ruining her only good point, her beauty," as he put it.

[She closes her eyes and shakes her head. Her smile is halfway between fond and exasperated.]

He enjoyed writing it to the point that it was honestly a bit disconcerting.

[babbylon]

He sounds similarly imbecilic.

[Gilgamesh, ladies and gents. Always delving out those harsh truths.]

[sealeted]

That's incredibly tame compared to his verdict of you.

[...Hakuno, no, don't go down this path. Not again.]

[babbylon]

Oh? By my measure, he must be some short... bumbling... glassy-eyed... snot-nosed... sharp-tongued... pale, pitiful, pathetic... slovenly, simpering, sluggish... hair-brained mongrel who thinks himself a true and noble scholar when in reality he's simply a lame excuse for a half-baked, half-hearted human being.

[So there.]

But do enlighten me of the judgment he's made of his undeniable better. It is sure to amuse.

[sealeted]

Actually, due to his readers beliefs impacting how he was summoned, he was actually a really cute young boy, with a very sharp tongue and a very manly voice. And he certainly didn't think of himself as a 'noble scholar,' I assure you.

[Andersen's appearance...

It's an experience, to be sure.

Also, she's beginning to feel uncertain about this.]

Um... I'm not sure I should. Would you want me to paraphrase, or give it to you word-for-word?

[Because she has not forgotten a single syllable of that blistering dressing down, that much is certain. Her heart felt like it was in her throat, back then.]

[babbylon]

I've said nothing inaccurate.

[In the court of his own opinion, of course, which is the only one he ever consulted. Strangely enough, however, Gilgamesh does not appear upset or even slightly annoyed; he didn't particularly care for this mysterious man's opinion, but he's curious anyway.

And if Hakuno met him, he must've been a Servant of some kind, which has him all the more intrigued.]

Well, we've a long journey back, so we may as well fill the time somehow. By all means.

[He's... ready? Probably.]

[sealeted]

Well... you asked for it. Remember that.

[You're never ready for an Andersen Analysis, Gilgamesh.]

Uh, let's see...

"Though my tongue may be cut out where I stand, as I have been asked, I will speak my estimation of you without reservation! To start at the conclusion, you don’t qualify as a Servant! I can’t give you a single point! And as a heroic spirit? That doesn’t bear discussion! No matter what records you consult, Gilgamesh was a ruffian that brought suffering to his country and his people. Calling you a king of men would make me laugh. A fool who united heaven and earth, ruling over men without governing his country. "

[...oh god.]

"A King of Heroes is just that, and not to be called a king of men even by accident. That principle of kingship is simply to reign. You establish yourself as a king, but that state is nothing but a storm with will. First you destroy. And after that you cannot even promise a good harvest. And in that sad state you gather the riches your subjects produce. Greed. Cruelty. And conceit. Those three things raised to their ultimate form and then made into one — that’s what you are."

[She immediately regrets this, so much.]

...um. Should... should I go on?

ii

[yancat]

The place is lovely, but not too accessible, don't you think?

[ That's how Jumin says hello. Granted, they went to the island in the sky together, so his presence shouldn't be surprising. He plans on neither eating nor sitting as he's still on the lookout for that colorful bird. What if he turns into stone? That's not good. They can't put up a business where their customers are in constant peril! ]

[sealeted]

Yeah, it's more a 'resort' type place than somewhere where you would want to specifically visit cats. The only Hero-run business here is Vietnam's inn. We could try setting up in Caissa like the others, but you brought up how high the numbers were already...

[She'd hate to have to treat the others as competitors.]

I spend a lot of time at Pigeonsblood, so Gammon might be an option we want to look at.

[yancat]

[ Oh, observant once again. And oh, she remembered that. ]

As Heroes of Blanc, we aren't allowed to start businesses outside the country. I checked. Besides, there are several factors we must take into account: infrastructure, business culture, resources, tax rates, legal protection... Given our status, we can at least find a partner on the ground with ease, but the laws of the land make it pointless.

[ But after he shuts her down completely, he immediately follows up with: ]

You're on the right track, though. Students are a part of our target market. But Blanc's top universities are in Caissa...

[ Back to square one. Let's go on a completely unrelated tangent. ]

Have you found the bird?

[sealeted]

Hm... Well, if it's just in Blanc, there's Palamède to consider. One of the wings is still under construction, last I heard, but there are lots of markets and shops.

[But, that can probably wait. She pauses to chew a mouthful of rice.]

No, I'm eating lunch first. I might need the mana for the bird.

[yancat]

[ Palamède is a place he has yet to visit. It sounds like a good option when its situation gets better. He nods in consideration; he'll check it out. For now, however, he focuses on the main task at hand. ]

Mana? [ Droppings aside, the bird didn't seem too harmless, but he figures they'll need some way to catch it. The new weapon he has might prove useful in this case... ]

Hmm. You're right. I'll need to find a source of mana as well. [ But where?

He places a hand on the rough bark of a nearby tree. ]

Can I exchange mana with this tree?

[sealeted]

[Mana exchanging with... a tree?]

I... wouldn't recommend it? If you need mana I can split my food with you, or free up a hand.

[She worries about him, sometimes.]

[yancat]

[ Just curious, man. (Please worry about him...) ]

I take set meals on a schedule. It isn't 11:45 yet. [ why ] I can settle for holding your hand, but I wonder if it would be in bad form. You aren't seeing anyone, are you?

[sealeted]

Oh.

[Weird, but she's heard of weirder conditions.]

Not exclusively, no. It shouldn't be in bad form at all. For the sake of mana and saving time, I've been kissed and embraced in the heat of battle, with no romantic intentions whatsoever. I'm fine with hand-holding.