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Entry tags:
COMING TO A CINEMA NEAR YOU THIS HOLIDAY SEASON
Who: Majin Archer (Santa) and you!
When: All throughout December
Where: All around Blanc
What: In keeping with the chaldean holiday tradition of People Who Absolutely Shouldn't Be Santa Being Santa, Nobunaga is committing herself to the role of Papa Noel, which means delivering presents and cracking down on present thieves with extreme prejudice.
Rating: THERE WILL BE NOTHING SERIOUS HERE only holiday shenanigans.
[Nice prompt]
[Naughty prompt]
When: All throughout December
Where: All around Blanc
What: In keeping with the chaldean holiday tradition of People Who Absolutely Shouldn't Be Santa Being Santa, Nobunaga is committing herself to the role of Papa Noel, which means delivering presents and cracking down on present thieves with extreme prejudice.
Rating: THERE WILL BE NOTHING SERIOUS HERE only holiday shenanigans.
[Nice prompt]
[Well, she wouldn't be Santa if she wasn't giving out presents, right? It might seem strange for someone who was historically considered a tyrant, but she knows the importance of the people. War should be fought for the people, not in spite of them, and during downtime like this lifting their spirits the best you can is of the upmost importance. So rather than approach this with a far too overzealous attitude and ruin everything, she's actually handing out gifts to children and the occasional gloomy adult with a nice bout of holiday cheer. That being said, it wouldn't be Nobunaga if she didn't go above and beyond with the required outfit...for all the wrong reasons.
Of course, what does this mean for you? Well, either you yourself have been stopped on the street to be handed a present (it'll be something fairly small, since she's only handing out the actual donated presents to kids), or you've been roped into being her seasonal helper. Women might get a cute elf hat and ears, but men have to wear antlers, or just go full reindeer outfit if you want. Don't act like she can't force you into it.]
Waha...I mean, er...ho ho ho! Season's greetings! You'd best behave yourselves now; naughty children get bound up and used as decorations!
[She hams it up and says that quite playfully, so the children who run away with their gifts still seem fairly delighted even if they're yelling in "fear".]
[Naughty prompt]
[But actually, you're not likely to see Nobunaga struggling with any zeroes, despite the fact she's insistent on taking this matter into her own hands. In fact, you're more likely to catch one of the offending present thieves tied up around town, with the unluckier ones strung from a high place. They can be covered in any combination of glitter, christmas ornaments or just a big ribbon slapped right on their face, but what they all share in common is a note pinned onto their front.
Right now, she's adding one of the stolen presents back to her sack.]
Y-you're crazy! What kind of papa noel are you?!
Wahaha! There's no papa noel quite like me, lad! Let the world know that Majin Santa isn't as forgiving as her vanilla counterpart!
[Seems she wasn't kidding when she told those children naughty kids get punished.]
NAUGHTY
However, she can't say that she's elated to see this kind of treatment in public. With a concerned and slightly confused look on her face, she slowly turns to the culprit. ]
... Nobunaga. What is the meaning of this?
[ Then she notices her clothes--taking off her blazer, she kind of shields Nobunaga's front from the public. No one needs to see your lack of titties. ]
no subject
Fool; can't you even see what's right in front of you, before your own two eyes? It's Santa-san. Majin Santa, Papa Noel!
[She considers bringing up Santa Alter only to remember...this isn't Chaldean Blue Saber. So.]
With the changing of the seasons, it's only natural the Christmas Force would call forth a hero to take the mantle of its most iconic guardian, to punish those who land themselves on the naughty list. Right? Hence all of this work I'm doing.
[Weren't they told to bring the culprits in? Oh well.]
no subject
She has heard about dressing up as Santa here, but-- ]
... I do not believe Papa Noel would dress up in such a way.
[ There's a sigh. ]
You are creating more work for Blanc's enforcers if you don't bring them to Command Lisbrand.
[ She's ASSUMING Nobunaga is doing a job on the bulletin. ]
no subject
So it goes without saying such a figure would be a little on the racier side, right?
[whatever that's just her excuse
Still, she props a hand on one hip and gives Saber a wink.]
Besides, I look good, right?
[The matter of "you're not doing your job right" is. Not a priority.
Not right now.]
no subject
[ Doesn't sound like she's disappointed or anything. She expected this from Nobunaga in the end. With a sigh, she just accepts this is how it'll be. There's nothing she can do to make Nobunaga make herself decent aside from offer colle.
Her expression doesn't change even with the wink. If anything, her eyes strain more. ]
Appearance aside, should you not look after the presents? Someone recently stole from your bag as you were restraining others.
[ By recent, Saber means while they were talking. ]
1/2
[But Saber, her presents are-]
no subject
Crap!! To think I'd make such an amateurish mistake...!!
[YOU NEVER TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THE PRIZE. She has no choice but to stop them and-!!
...except she's about halfway into taking her first step to run off before she stops and turns to Saber suddenly, looking only slightly frantic.]
A-alright! Here! [She's trying to shove a pair of soft plush antlers onto Saber's head, simultaneously handing her a plush red nose with the other. If it's squeezed, it'll light up!]
I have no choice but to act on the fly...!! [Ahem.] Are you up to the challenge of saving Christmas? [cherima] Will you stand by the side of your proud master, King of foggy christmas eves, beast class servant...Rudolph-san?!
no subject
I'll help you. However, I must ask... Why did you have these on hand?
[ She squeezes the red nose and it lights up in her hand. This all seems... planned?!? ]
no subject
[Actually it just kinda worked out that way...someone was gonna get stuck with this either way.
But enough questions Saber!! She tugs on her wrist and tries to drag her for a few steps, then lets go and starts running ahead, hoping she'll follow.]
Now come on! We've wasted enough time dilly dallying due to that chatterbox nature of yours, you know...!!
no subject
Getting dragged seems to be normal for her... But she follows after. ]
No one has called me a chatterbox before.
[ It's weird. However, Nobu is weird. It's a little crowded today, but Saber tries her best to scout on her tip-toes--POINTS AT THIS SHADY FELLOW IN THE CROWD AHEAD! ]
There.
[ He has... a cube for a gut under his sweater. ]
nice
Those bright eyes of Shinano's are shining at his pseudo-master. To get a gift from Nobunaga is super special! Isn't it, Nobunaga was known to be stingy with even giving even praise.
Of course it could also be a bit of bribery for Shinano to help out, or keep helping out. He isn't wearing the reindeer antlers just to be cute (Good thing he has legs of steel despite the slight chill, the reindeer suit is a bit too big...)! ]
Really, for me?
[ Before the Santa Warlord can respond to that rhetorical-ish question, she is swiftly embraced by the tantou. ]
no subject
Still, she's fairly pleased to get the hug and, while returning it with one arm, she ruffles his hair with her other hand.]
Of course, you silly boy! [Better than being called an idiot.] It isn't quite what I have planned for your actual gift, but in the meantime it's something small. A token from this demon santa...go on then, enjoy it! A gift is nothing if it lays unopened forever!!
[Upon being opened it's revealed to be a small little bag of like, three cookies.]
no subject
Demon Santa...
[ That sounds... different. Well, while they're on a short break, he can at least ask. He refrained when she pulled him into this because he's a sword, they don't question their masters. But it's more curiosity that wants to be sated. ]
Is that a tradition from your world, Nobunaga-sama?
1/2
[what]
actually 2/3
[She shrugs her shoulders.]
I don't know what everyone back in Chaldea's doing for Christmas this year, but I figure while I'm away I may as well keep it up on her behalf. As much as I'd like to be in a different class, with an entirely different festive skillset...here, I'm just a woman in fancy dress.
no subject
[She looks fairly satisfied now, even a little smug.]
no subject
[ He understood about... 50% of that, give or take. Look the sword browser game only gave out welfares as a mobile launch promotion that were just Jiji and Kogi being themselves: rare and super desirable! ]
The kids like it all the same... A cute "antivillain Santa", someone called it. Creativity helps brighten the season.
no subject
[She made her name on it. In fact, it's the entire basis for her as a heroic spirit; usually being an older spirit seeped in mystery or the divine gives you the advantage in a grail war. But against Nobunaga, it's a death sentence.]
But not to worry, not to worry. With the changing of the seasons, so too will I return to my form as a demon king, inciting terror and awe from our enemies on the battlefield.
naughty
[ Irisviel is clapping her hands enthusiastically as she walks over, a bright smile on her face. ]
Naughty children should be punished, for ruining the fun for everyone else.
But I'm not a child--
Silence, naughty one.
[ She steps on the back of the poor thief in question. ]
Didn't anyone tell you not to talk back to mama?
no subject
[On cue, rather than antlers or elf attire, Nobunaga hands over a santa hat for Irisviel instead. Looks like someone just got promoted?!
With that said and done (assuming Irisviel accepts) Nobunaga hoists their festive prisoner upwards and over, carrying them over her shoulder like a sack of potatos.]
I've received counsel from Rudolph-san [saber.] that leaving these ne'er-do-wells lying about is a bad idea. So it's about time to make a delivery to the commander instead!