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insert bird pun here (OPEN)
Who: Robin Hood, a flock of robins, and anyone unfortunate enough to somehow get roped into this.
When: Mid-September /vaguely waves hand
Where: Gammon
What: Introducing the new band, Robin and the Robins
Rating: N/A
[Robin's ranked up recently. People who actually bother to speak to this cactus of a man might have already noticed he swapped out his badge, but he hasn't made any announcements or anything, and he doesn't plan to make one any time soon.
He might not need to, though, as it turns out. He's a Bishop with the Tamer specialization, and his charming ability has gone haywire. Fortunately, while numerous, the animals he's attracted aren't dangerous or anything. In some cosmic joke he finds extremely unfunny, he's being followed by a little more than 30 robins. He can be found in various states of torment throughout the day...]
a. birdemic: shock and terror
[Taking a leaf out of his Carrier's book, the flock of robins crowding his shoulders and arms has become extremely possessive of their mark, chirping angrily at and occasionally trying to attack people who get too close. He's not about to let this happen, but whenever he tries to shoo them away or intervene in a divebombing attempt, the ire of the entire flock turns on him instead.
It's pretty funny, actually.]
b. beaks: the movie
[If it looks like a crowd of small birds has somehow intimidated a grown-ass man to hide like a coward, it's because that's exactly what happened.
The robins have all perched on a roof somewhere, clearly agitated, their collective tweets and titters almost deafening. They've lost sight of Robin, who's managed to lose them around the corner of an alleyway for a while. Every once in a while he'll peer out only to quickly duck back behind the wall, cursing under his breath once he sees they're still there. His hands are loosely cupped together, his Carrier's head poking out from between his fingers. Marian's been picking fights with the robins ever since they showed up, and letting her go would risk getting her hurt, but more importantly, it might give him away.]
Could you chill for five seconds, maybe...
[Regrettably, his Carrier, like Robin himself, has no chill to give.]
c. poultrygeist: night of the chicken dead
[By this point, he's given up. Nothing he's managed to do has convinced them to leave, so he's settled down somewhere, covered in small sleeping birds, grouchily smoking a cigarette. His Carrier has somehow managed to boot them all out of her favorite spot atop his head, one bluebird amid a veritable swarm of robins. It'd almost be cute, if the person they were all over weren't so obviously displeased with the situation. Anyone who spends more than a second or two staring gets a nasty glare from Robin, who's little more than a glorified birdhouse at this point.]
Keep walking.
d. alfred hitchcock's the birds
[the wildcard option.]
When: Mid-September /vaguely waves hand
Where: Gammon
What: Introducing the new band, Robin and the Robins
Rating: N/A
[Robin's ranked up recently. People who actually bother to speak to this cactus of a man might have already noticed he swapped out his badge, but he hasn't made any announcements or anything, and he doesn't plan to make one any time soon.
He might not need to, though, as it turns out. He's a Bishop with the Tamer specialization, and his charming ability has gone haywire. Fortunately, while numerous, the animals he's attracted aren't dangerous or anything. In some cosmic joke he finds extremely unfunny, he's being followed by a little more than 30 robins. He can be found in various states of torment throughout the day...]
a. birdemic: shock and terror
[Taking a leaf out of his Carrier's book, the flock of robins crowding his shoulders and arms has become extremely possessive of their mark, chirping angrily at and occasionally trying to attack people who get too close. He's not about to let this happen, but whenever he tries to shoo them away or intervene in a divebombing attempt, the ire of the entire flock turns on him instead.
It's pretty funny, actually.]
b. beaks: the movie
[If it looks like a crowd of small birds has somehow intimidated a grown-ass man to hide like a coward, it's because that's exactly what happened.
The robins have all perched on a roof somewhere, clearly agitated, their collective tweets and titters almost deafening. They've lost sight of Robin, who's managed to lose them around the corner of an alleyway for a while. Every once in a while he'll peer out only to quickly duck back behind the wall, cursing under his breath once he sees they're still there. His hands are loosely cupped together, his Carrier's head poking out from between his fingers. Marian's been picking fights with the robins ever since they showed up, and letting her go would risk getting her hurt, but more importantly, it might give him away.]
Could you chill for five seconds, maybe...
[Regrettably, his Carrier, like Robin himself, has no chill to give.]
c. poultrygeist: night of the chicken dead
[By this point, he's given up. Nothing he's managed to do has convinced them to leave, so he's settled down somewhere, covered in small sleeping birds, grouchily smoking a cigarette. His Carrier has somehow managed to boot them all out of her favorite spot atop his head, one bluebird amid a veritable swarm of robins. It'd almost be cute, if the person they were all over weren't so obviously displeased with the situation. Anyone who spends more than a second or two staring gets a nasty glare from Robin, who's little more than a glorified birdhouse at this point.]
Keep walking.
d. alfred hitchcock's the birds
[the wildcard option.]
no subject
[ Because both of these are things Kojirou is supremely confident in, and Robin's making it difficult not to poke a little fun at him right now. ]
Why not take a little gamble? Because this place smells like human refuse and abandoned tobacco.
[ aka the things all dark alleys smell of pretty much ]
no subject
Ugh, fine. I'm not gonna be held responsible if they do anything to you, though.
[He sets his Carrier on his head, which contentedly hunkers down in his hair, and puts the hood of his cloak up. The last thing he needs is Marian picking fights. Again. Like always.
With that out of the way, he steps out of the alleyway, and is immediately covered in birds.
The sigh this produces is almost too weary to describe.]
no subject
Well, mostly. There are still a couple on his shoulders. ]
These birds are rather on the pleasant side. I don't really see the problem if this is the worst they're going to do, really. Perhaps you should just adopt the lot as pets?
no subject
[He gestures to the furious bluebird nestled on top of his head. She's staring down a few of the robins, like she's daring them to pick a fight with her.]
It's just annoying, so if I can avoid it I'd rather do that.
[There it is. His motto.]
no subject
People who are truly lazy, truly apathetic, don't get to be Heroic Spirits. ]
Well, it must be tough, having a feisty Carrier. Mine likes to fly off, which leaves things rather on the quiet side here.
no subject
[Technically not a lie, though. He doesn't like getting involved, and he certainly didn't enjoy taking up his name in the first place. But he's a Heroic Spirit because he did anyway.
Though speaking of little things...]
Is yours a bird too?
[Did you kill your Carrier, Kojirou. Is that what "fly off" means.]
no subject
Mine? No, my lttle birds are quite something else entirely. My Carrier is a dragon.
[ He whistles, and his own Carrier appears out of the sky, a small winged dragon that swoops down majestically (for a small dog-sized dragon) and then... crashes into a wall. ]
It's not very good at landing.
no subject
No wonder it's always flying off, if that's how it always comes back down.
[It's sort of cute.]
Did you ever consider, I don't know, teaching it how? Or is it just that clumsy?
[His Carrier tries to fight everything that moves, so he's the last person who has the right to make fun of someone else's, but does he care? No.]
no subject
[ You see any wings on him? Of course not. Kojirou doesn't know anything about flying. Okay, he has observed birds very closely, but those who are bad at landing often don't get enough chances to get good at it. It's something of a conundrum.
He moves over to pick up his Carrier, cradling it in the loose sleeves of his shirt, and it grumbles angrily. ]
I'm sure it will get better with time, as long as it keeps trying.
no subject
[Even if its best is terrible.
Speaking of terrible, Robin is still covered in birds.]
You think it's hungry?
[He gestures at the birds. This is a joke, but it'd help thin the crowd out a little...]
no subject
No, I rather doubt it. But it could still eat them if you insist. It'd just be sending mail, instead.
[ So if you want to teleport a bunch of birds to your worst enemy... Does that even work? Can live animals be sent via Carrier mail? ]
no subject
...Have you ever tried sending something alive through a Carrier? I don't want to be responsible for...I don't know, someone's Carrier spitting out bird pieces everywhere.
[He can't say for sure that's what would happen, but he doesn't really seem keen on taking that chance.
He'd also prefer just making them go away to inflicting physical harm on them, truth be told.]
no subject
[ Whole, basically still flopping a bit. Thanks, Vivienne? ]
I'm sure they won't appear in small pieces, at least.
[ No promises about being fully alive, though. ]