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insert bird pun here (OPEN)
Who: Robin Hood, a flock of robins, and anyone unfortunate enough to somehow get roped into this.
When: Mid-September /vaguely waves hand
Where: Gammon
What: Introducing the new band, Robin and the Robins
Rating: N/A
[Robin's ranked up recently. People who actually bother to speak to this cactus of a man might have already noticed he swapped out his badge, but he hasn't made any announcements or anything, and he doesn't plan to make one any time soon.
He might not need to, though, as it turns out. He's a Bishop with the Tamer specialization, and his charming ability has gone haywire. Fortunately, while numerous, the animals he's attracted aren't dangerous or anything. In some cosmic joke he finds extremely unfunny, he's being followed by a little more than 30 robins. He can be found in various states of torment throughout the day...]
a. birdemic: shock and terror
[Taking a leaf out of his Carrier's book, the flock of robins crowding his shoulders and arms has become extremely possessive of their mark, chirping angrily at and occasionally trying to attack people who get too close. He's not about to let this happen, but whenever he tries to shoo them away or intervene in a divebombing attempt, the ire of the entire flock turns on him instead.
It's pretty funny, actually.]
b. beaks: the movie
[If it looks like a crowd of small birds has somehow intimidated a grown-ass man to hide like a coward, it's because that's exactly what happened.
The robins have all perched on a roof somewhere, clearly agitated, their collective tweets and titters almost deafening. They've lost sight of Robin, who's managed to lose them around the corner of an alleyway for a while. Every once in a while he'll peer out only to quickly duck back behind the wall, cursing under his breath once he sees they're still there. His hands are loosely cupped together, his Carrier's head poking out from between his fingers. Marian's been picking fights with the robins ever since they showed up, and letting her go would risk getting her hurt, but more importantly, it might give him away.]
Could you chill for five seconds, maybe...
[Regrettably, his Carrier, like Robin himself, has no chill to give.]
c. poultrygeist: night of the chicken dead
[By this point, he's given up. Nothing he's managed to do has convinced them to leave, so he's settled down somewhere, covered in small sleeping birds, grouchily smoking a cigarette. His Carrier has somehow managed to boot them all out of her favorite spot atop his head, one bluebird amid a veritable swarm of robins. It'd almost be cute, if the person they were all over weren't so obviously displeased with the situation. Anyone who spends more than a second or two staring gets a nasty glare from Robin, who's little more than a glorified birdhouse at this point.]
Keep walking.
d. alfred hitchcock's the birds
[the wildcard option.]
When: Mid-September /vaguely waves hand
Where: Gammon
What: Introducing the new band, Robin and the Robins
Rating: N/A
[Robin's ranked up recently. People who actually bother to speak to this cactus of a man might have already noticed he swapped out his badge, but he hasn't made any announcements or anything, and he doesn't plan to make one any time soon.
He might not need to, though, as it turns out. He's a Bishop with the Tamer specialization, and his charming ability has gone haywire. Fortunately, while numerous, the animals he's attracted aren't dangerous or anything. In some cosmic joke he finds extremely unfunny, he's being followed by a little more than 30 robins. He can be found in various states of torment throughout the day...]
a. birdemic: shock and terror
[Taking a leaf out of his Carrier's book, the flock of robins crowding his shoulders and arms has become extremely possessive of their mark, chirping angrily at and occasionally trying to attack people who get too close. He's not about to let this happen, but whenever he tries to shoo them away or intervene in a divebombing attempt, the ire of the entire flock turns on him instead.
It's pretty funny, actually.]
b. beaks: the movie
[If it looks like a crowd of small birds has somehow intimidated a grown-ass man to hide like a coward, it's because that's exactly what happened.
The robins have all perched on a roof somewhere, clearly agitated, their collective tweets and titters almost deafening. They've lost sight of Robin, who's managed to lose them around the corner of an alleyway for a while. Every once in a while he'll peer out only to quickly duck back behind the wall, cursing under his breath once he sees they're still there. His hands are loosely cupped together, his Carrier's head poking out from between his fingers. Marian's been picking fights with the robins ever since they showed up, and letting her go would risk getting her hurt, but more importantly, it might give him away.]
Could you chill for five seconds, maybe...
[Regrettably, his Carrier, like Robin himself, has no chill to give.]
c. poultrygeist: night of the chicken dead
[By this point, he's given up. Nothing he's managed to do has convinced them to leave, so he's settled down somewhere, covered in small sleeping birds, grouchily smoking a cigarette. His Carrier has somehow managed to boot them all out of her favorite spot atop his head, one bluebird amid a veritable swarm of robins. It'd almost be cute, if the person they were all over weren't so obviously displeased with the situation. Anyone who spends more than a second or two staring gets a nasty glare from Robin, who's little more than a glorified birdhouse at this point.]
Keep walking.
d. alfred hitchcock's the birds
[the wildcard option.]
no subject
Did you bring enough for every bird here?
[ The fox carrier yaps again. DON'T POISON MY FRIENDS!!! Mammon scoops it up soon enough so that it stops prancing everywhere. Stay still. ]
Because that's a lot of poison. [ Not to mention corpse trashing. ]
no subject
[Poison, he means.]
The bigger issue would be getting the smarter ones to eat it once they wised up, I think.
[This is a perfectly normal conversation between two perfectly normal people.]
no subject
Some of them don't look interested in eating the seeds though. Don't you have some magic to scare them off?
[ /hero generalization ]
no subject
[That's a no. Robin's more interested in synthesis and alchemy than magic.]
But I've been trying to scare them the conventional way, and they just come right back a minute or two later. They're even more stubborn than a certain brat I know.
no subject
no subject
I'm really more interested in trying to make this go away than figure out how it happened in the first place, though.
[He's got a lot of problems, but attracting birds has never been one of them until today.]
no subject
[ She looks at the birds thoughtfully for a second. ]
Maybe you can even train them to be a bird choir if you tame them well.
no subject
[He can't believe he's seriously entertaining this idea.]
no subject
[ go seduce those birds, robin!!
this is a Bad Idea, but... why not, really. ]
no subject
[He can't believe he's being called a birdfucker.]
If you're so interested in the mating habits of birds, maybe you should try blowing a grasswhistle yourself.
[But two can play at that game.]
no subject
[ She shrugs. ]
Unless you like being bored, then don't let me stop you.
no subject
[Arguing is kind of fun by itself, actually, so Mammon is doing pretty well, all things considered.]
no subject
[ Mammon laughs. She also thinks that this is pretty entertaining. It's a lot better than being bored by herself. She grins and makes a short, whistle sound, but loud enough to pick up outdoors in this bustling city.
Will she be successful in drawing some birds' attention?! Would the power of her whistling be stronger than Robin's haywire tamer bird cologne?? Stay tuned for the next comment. ]
no subject
Wow, amazing. Dumb animals are distracted by sudden noises. I've learned so much.
[It would've been nice of more of them had gone for it, though.]
no subject
Take notes, because you can apply your knowledge at any time!
[ aka you just sit there and do nothing, sir bird leader ]
no subject
[Is he calling her a dumb animal?? Signs point to yes.]
no subject
[ ... Well, he asked. ]