pawnstorm | [open] http://imgur.com/a/dJVnA

Who: Kain (

ordealer) and whoever else tags this.
When: 8/23 - 9/15, during Rejectionquest 2k16
Where: Inside the home of little Sebastian Reuben Rumpleschnuck, fourth son among seven in a family of mages with a mighty lineage stretching back for generations, to the extent that even now you can find the Rumpleschnuck initials carved into random desks, initials that were scribed by Seb's great-great-great grandfather.
What: Crushed hopes, shattered dreams.
Rating: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Maybe one of the small children flings porn and ups the rating, I don't know.

[Little Rumpleschnuck crumpled to the ground. He had reached the last stage of the cycle of grief, having spent the last fifteen minutes screaming and shouting and then numb and then desperately asking the Heroes to...could they...could they do something? Anything? But no, he had reached acceptance and crumpled. His stare was bleak. His tears never ending. Sebastian Reuben Rumpleschnuck was numb, voiceless, speechless.

His six other siblings stared at them from the stairs. The older were worried and...angry, angry at the Heroes. The younger ones horrified - they had taken Pigeonsblood for granted. They should study!]

We'd...best leave.

[Understatement, that. And they had another 25 letters on this street to go! The flying pig oinked, distressed.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... I believe so, though I never heard of such a technique before.

[ Saber doesn't even suspect it to be ridiculous. Some noble phantasms and the rules around using them are ridiculous. Why do they have to scream their names to activate them? Does taht even make sense?

Either way, she merely tries to walk pass them until one of them point to Kain. They want his autograph--the girls, however, want his commitment for eternity. ]

Let us quickly move.

[ SHE GOT YOU FAM. But then one of the angry mage family members throws a fireball at them. It at least lights Saber's coat aflame. Okay, maybe they don't have this. ]

[He spat out something quick and vulgar, the knightly version of an oath like, "This situation fucking stinks like the wrong end of the bastard child of a skunk and a wet dog dipped in piss and lit on fire." Use your imagination.]

Yes, let's.

[Does she have the coat problem taken care of? Because if not, guess who's got two thumbs and is really bad at a water spell. This asshole, that's who.

There might be some mocking laughter in the background and he's resisting the urge to go all drill sergeant on their asses. (And where is their pig going???)]

[ Saber decides to ditch her coat. It was nice, but now no longer salvageable. As fast as it drops, those that have been chasing after them and or mocking them jump at the chance to keep a "regalia" of an otherworldly Hero. ]

I'm starting to wonder if antics like these usually come hand in hand with jobs in this world.

[ But now it seems with the commotion behind them, they can continue on with delivery-- ]

... Have you seen where the piglet went?

No, I was distracted by that coat of yours and-

[They're just going to be the kids in the kitchen of Jurassic Park, aren't they?]

You may have given them an idea.

[As in, they'd better beat it.]

... An idea?

[ She doesn't quite understand, but she does realize that he's right, so she toddles as fast as she can away. Unfortunately, the girls that are in love with Kain, are high-class mages.

Those spikes of ice that just formed on the ground in an instant to block their path?

That's them.

They want your underwear. ]

These civilians are quite dangerous.

[ Why would anyone live here?? How is nothing broken down and on fire constantly? ]

[What the poop.]

Understatement, that. One day let me tell you of Mysidia.

[Casual danger dialogue! Why are they attacking? Are they that broke? Is this mugging? They're totally being mugged, except in a high class way. He's instinctively reaching for a weapon before remembering-]

They're civilians.

[-and thus they can't attack- why are they staring at his crotch? Are they? They seem to be.] They're- [No, he's not going to acknowledge the fact he's feeling weird right now.] Have you any ideas? [He could do a single target dance number (why are the shutter shades easily one of the most powerful weapons he's ever owned) but that only takes care of one of them.

He might anyway.]

Would your spectacles be able to distract them all?

[ Since she remembers the bear from before. It boogied its way to them, but at an unfortunately slow pace. That would be fine? It wouldn't be too bad... Like putting them to sleep like she did to the earlier group, right? Maybe they should have thought this through. In the real world, they would be arrested. ]

Illusion magic would be convenient right now... However, I do have curses. I can... make them considerably slower?

...I distract one, and you slow the others. Between the two of us we should drive them into confusion long enough to make our escape.

[...why is he sounding like they're about to go into battle. This is hi-

This is their lives.

This is what they became.

Why.]

Remember to handle the piglet with care, Kain.

[ She readies the spell in her mind, already starting the incantation as she dodges a stray fireball that is definitely meant for her. It wouldn't be called a stray at this point, right?

The her slow is released, and the women after Kain's booty have almost come to a stop. It's hard to tell, but they are moving less than a snail's pace. If they were a more humorous couple of characters, they would be enjoying the slow-mo reactions right now. The one holding the pig, however, panics and tries to almost kill them with a beam of light. ]

[open] http://imgur.com/a/dJVnA

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Scrubs face. Gets tea. Scrubs more face. Gets more tea.

GIVE ME TEA

No, because I could've sworn I replied to your last tag but it wasn't there and nani.

I THINK YOU DID BUT YOU DELETED IT? idr

I don't know. I really don't know. Do I look like I know? I'm weak.

i'm also weak we can forget together