[open] They didn't have taro ice cream bars and I'm still vaguely butthurt.

[convictionary]

Who: Gaius (convictionary) and various and sundry other people, yes, it's ice cream time.
When: Post-Lasker intro log
Where: Lasker, starting off in an ice cream parlor because I can.
What: Investigating Lasker stuff while eating ice cream.
Rating: Probably some innuendo and mild cursing because it's me, and I might use a vulgar metaphor and/or analogy at some point.

[So, as Gaius stared at the ice cream bar shaped vaguely like Kaito's head (chocolate flavored) he couldn't help but say.]

That ain't right.

[They could get to Double Duo and doing other things in a second. Right now he's distracted by ice cream bars shaped like people he knew.]

Comments

[topkong]

Yep. I suggest not pissing off tiny, furry shortpuffs that have a penchant for firing off crazy spells that can do anything.

[ Sigh. He remembers being a frosted one, with little banana shaped sprinkles.

This only lasted for seconds, but he will never forget. ]

If I ever see her again, I'll let you know. You can live your wildest dreams being a dessert.

[convictionary]

[He wants to say no. He wants to say pass.]

What flavor were you? [And yet he's compelled to follow this story to the end.] And gods, wh- why did she do it? How did she do it? Are there a bunch of mages who spent decades researching how to turn things into pastries and you think it'll work on Monday's slop? [Priorities?]

[topkong]

[ And yet somehow, Wukong comes to the same line of comment that he had started with. What a magical adventure. ]

I wouldn't know. I turned back into my normal, furry self before anyone got a chance to eat me. Also, I wouldn't eat myself.

[ Then again, that's a pretty top tier priority. Anything that can make the mystery food more palatable would be a god-send. ]

It was a little Yordle, a fae sorceress. Small things. Some look like animals, some don't. From what I remember, she was stuck in a magical forest for a long time, like centuries or something. I don't know. I was a cupcake.

[ The greatest defense ever??? ]

[convictionary]

I'm surprised. I would've thought that if you were a cupcake you would somehow...gods, you know. Know. You'd just know that you're supposed to be one of those fudge ones with the gooey centers. [Makes a 'squish squish' gesture with his hand.]

[topkong]

[ Wukong's quiet, watching the gesture with a little bit of... confusion? Fear? He's really not sure how to feel, it's almost like... ]

If I was a cupcake right now, would you devour me.

[ It's not a question. It's more like a "you better be kidding me" kind of statement. ]

1/2 he actually was propositioned by a cake once

[convictionary]

[And he stops. They stop. If they were walking they stopped even more. This is very much a they're going to stop what they were doing - even if they were stopped to begin with - and...well, take a moment.

In this moment he shook his head once, twice, and then looked Wukong in the eye.]

2/2

[convictionary]

Don't make this weird, Fuzz.

[topkong]

[ Wukong can't believe how stopped they are. It's almost to the point where he feels compelled to start moving backward, but instead he rocks back onto his heels and raises an eyebrow. ]

... that's not a no. I didn't hear a no. You would do anything for sweets, wouldn't you?

[ He leans in toward Gaius. His face is close. Probably too close. ]

I won't tell anyone if you said you would commit a cake massacre.

[convictionary]

[It is too close. Especially since he's not the one initiating. The monkey is. It smells like fuzz and banana.]

Listen, Fuzz. [...]

...I would. I would commit a cake massacre. Just one problem.

[topkong]

[ The best smell. There's definitely the faintest scent of 'awesomeness'. Imagine the money that could be made bottling that smell. ]

Let's hope we never make friends with a group of friendly talking cakes.

[ Eh??? ]

What's the problem?

[convictionary]

[...]

There's a new, different problem now, Fuzz. [Gonna take a step back because that awesomeness is too much for him, thanks.] Gods. You know. There's probably a tribe of friendly talking cakes somewhere in this world, you know that? Or if not here, somewhere out there. Somewhere.

[topkong]

I mean, maybe. [ Wukong's a little worried about Gaius now. The concept of a living cake makes Wukong wonder if they're both crazy, if Gaius is crazy, or if neither of them are crazy and this could somehow be a reality? After all, no one can DISPROVE THE EXISTENCE OF THEM so... yeah... ]

... you think there might be books about them?

[ Who would perform studies on tribal cakes? ]

[convictionary]

Could be. I mean, thinking about it, some magicker type could've been bored and raised some cake golemns [Yes, golemns, not golems.] because they could. You saw all of those mechanical carriers floating about? Like that, 'cept with pastries.

[topkong]

[ Solemn golemns? ]

I guess that's not out of the realm of possibility. Perhaps there are carriers like that, in the shape of cupcakes and tarts and doughnuts? Or maybe they've crafted a few in those forms and found them to be...

[ Wait for it. ]

... half-baked.

[convictionary]

[That gets Gaius to stare for a long moment. He then dramatically, oh so dramatically, says,]

I really wanna hate you for that, Fuzz.

[There's an implication here.]