pawnstorm | OPEN | titles are so hard just kill me

Who: Kija and whoever wants to join him in some cleaning!
When: Throughout the whole month!
Where: Hall of Glory
What: Various Hall of Glory prompts!! Kija is always up to earn some money for his family.
Rating: Stone dicks and chainletters. Otherwise none??

A: ACTUAL DELICATE PRINCESS KIJA (CLEANING)

[ .. Kija's never actually cleaned anything in his life, and it shows in how unused he appears to be handling the broom. What he lacks in experience, he makes up for in determination, however. There's really no need to be sweeping with so much strength and fervor but somehow, he seems to think that giving the act his all would produce a better result. His brows furrow in concentration, and Kija's just whacking all that dust away (and taking care not to get any of it on himself at the same time, because he does hate being filthy!)

There is a lot of dust in this empty guest room. It coats the wooden floors and the old trinkets piling up around them. It might be forever before they finish the job (especially since Kija isn't working in a very smart way) but he doesn't seem bothered by that fact at all. With much determination, he continues on with his task ...

Until he hears a mysterious scratching from above. ]

What is that ...? [ There's something in the ceiling! Thoughtlessly, Kija knocks the top of his broom against the ceiling, urging whatever it was to come out. That's a bit of a bad idea ...

Because his dragon hand is stronger than most, and the broom goes piercing right through the old, rotting wood, cracking it into pierces. The wood gives way, and a rain of dust, rats, lizards and spiders rain down on both Kija and whoever is near him.

Cue... a blood-curling scream ........]

IYAAAAAAAAH!! [ And some flailing about, as Kija fights to get the cobwebs and spiders out of his hair. A few of them went into his clothes!!!!!

Any more of this, and he just might faint ... ]

B: PIN THE [CENSORED] ON THE [CENSORED] (STATUE PROMPT ...???)

[ While cleaning, our heroes might find a mysterious ... cylindrical object made of stone just lying around on the floor. Or, it would be more right to say that it resembles a ...sausage??? With absolutely no context, Kija can't figure out what it is just yet.

One of the busy, busy butlers shoot them a glance and tell them it probably fell off one of those stone statues. He tasks them with finding the right statue and fitting the piece back where it belongs. Not just any statue will do, it has to be the right one!!

Holding the ... sausage (???) in his dragon hand, Kija accepts the task (albeit with much confusion). ]

...Very well. We won't let you down. [ He's not quite sure what sort of statue this could have broken off, but how hard could this be?

For the PG-13 version of this prompt, our heroes can find a leaf of modesty instead ...... ]

C: IT'S 2005 ALL OVER AGAIN (BULLETIN BOARD)

[ Everyone's doing the bulletin board prompt already so why not. Kija can be found tearing up all those lewd notes with his dragon's claw, whacking them and ripping them up into shreds. Some of them feature your character, and they'll be able to see themselves engaging in some lewd act with some other hero (possibly a best friend, or a hated enemy) in the ripped note.

As Kija continues on with his tirade, he's also blushing - both from embarrassment and fluster. ]

How awful! Leaving such improper things for others to see! This is a board that everyone looks at, how could they put up such rude notes?! Simply awful!

[ He's about to clean up the last of the inappropriate notes when he catches a glance of what it says, and this forces him to freeze.

DO NOT TAKE DOWN THIS NOTE!

THIS IS THE LOVE CURSE! If you see this note, you have to copy it and give it to 10 people that you love. Tell them that you love them, or they will DIE by sunset! You will be ALL ALONE if you don't do this!

Pass this along, and spread the love, everyone ♥♥♥♥!

Most people would brush the threat aside, but Kija is ...a lot more gullible than most people. ]

Eh?!? Have I been cursed?!

[ Or do something else with me ... just hit me up via PM and we can discuss something. ]

Threaded | Flat

[She's carrying a bucket, hair tied up into a loose and low sidebun so it doesn't get in the way. For some reason, cleaning around here is tougher than back home.

She spots a Kija looking very confused.]

What are you doing, Kija?

[. . .]

[Kaito isn't a cruel person. sure, he like to tease and joke and pick on people from time to time. and occasionally, he might purposefully mash someone's buttons in order to see how they react. but cruel? never!!]

[Kija, however, may think otherwise as he hears Kaito gasp in mock horror from behind him]

You've been cursed!

[no Kaito noooooooo don't take advantage of Kija's poor innocence]

[ Rats, lizards, and spiders—oh my.

Sion had rather imagined something like this would come to pass in the instant he'd happened upon his present cleaning compatriot. Between the thwacks! of the broom and the dust coating the flooring, it had only been a matter of time until some great calamity befell them both. But ah, so touched by Kija's enthusiasm for the task at hand, the King hadn't the heart to warn the (younger?) man, and at the time, he'd been thoroughly convinced of his own ability to protect his companion should the worst happen, and Kija somehow lose both his balance and footing.

...but this? Ah, well... is he truly to blame, if Kija had stepped out of bounds of the protective barrier Sion had cast no sooner than the broom had gone straight through the ceiling? Where Kija screams, Sion is safe and sound, shielded by the speciality of his rank as Kija himself would have been, had he simply stayed still.

(Sion is trying so, so very hard to keep a straight face.) ]

Be calm. [ Things scurry as he walks forward, bridging the distance between himself and Kija, his left hand falling to rest lightly atop the other man's shoulder, his right lifting to bat spiders aside and comb the cobwebs from snow-white hair. ] If you allow yourself to be agitated, the creatures will react in kind.

[ ...why, is that a lizard running up the back of Kija's shirt? ]

[ So even spam mail can exist here. Slaine is pretty gullible, too. But at least he has some sense! Before he presses his panic button, he quickly interjects: ]

W-wait, if this note is from a local, we don't have to worry!! They don't have any magic to do that to the people important to us!

[ THEY ARE SAFE....

But just incase, Slaine begins to mutter some random prayers to himself. With the power of a King's blessing, he's going to grant them a bit of protection from the "curse".

Or try to.

He's still new at this and might end up granting the both of them bad luck instead. ]

Edited 2016-05-08 22:11 (UTC)

[ Adra happens to be walking by when he hears Kija's scream tear through the air. Thinking that something awful has happened, Adra rushes towards the sound--and stops, eyes wide, irritation mounting, at the sight of the other man shrieking on the floor. Baby spiders skitter everywhere, clearly just as terrified as their temporary host. ]

Kija!

[ He wades into the mess, kneeling down beside Kija, doing his best not to step on any fleeing arachnids. ]

Kiki, you've got to calm down. Spiders only bite when they're frightened.

[That bulletin board was no place for a poor, innocent tween. So that’s why Peacock is there! Sure, if anyone asks, she would vehemently deny reading any of this trash, but really, who couldn’t at least peruse it. It ain’t like she has any attachment to the bozos portrayed, so no love lost, right? Really, she had no excuse for reading it; she had to focus her mana, and really focus her inexperienced sight to read some of it. Honestly, she should have just accepted her blindness and cleaned up the place diligently, instead of making herself mad with countless pages of badly-executed smut.

Oh, well, at least it motivated her all the more to tear down and censor this place so righteously, right? … Eh, she’ll just say that justifies her.]

Yeah, yeah, we know already. Ya ain’t gotta keep yappin’ about it. Just keep cleanin’!

[Poor Kija is earning his comments from the peanut gallery, who, ironically enough, isn’t helping at all. The cyborg, clad in a maid outfit and leaning against her broom, sure is enjoying watching someone else do all the work. She smirks as she blindly oversees the work, tapping a metal foot and whistling a tune to herself, providing the poor bulletin cleaner a soundtrack to tear paper too.

But, when Kija finally comments on something new, Peacock’s whistling slows into a single low note as she quirks a brow. Well, now she’s just plain curious. The large, obnoxious text is easy for her mana senses to pick up even from afar, and the girl begins smiling a cruel, sharp-toothed grin.]

Oh, no… [She starts, shaking her head and clicking her tongue to the roof of her mouth numerous times, the caricature of someone with bad news.] Yep. That’s a curse if I’ve evah heard a’ one.

[Pulling herself off of her broom, Peacock whistles once more, casual yet grim, piping out the notes for the Funeral March. Smooth move, Peacock. Way to make new friends!]

b...jesus

c; KIJA. . .

a....!

C...

A

C; rip!!!