intro ♚ april

[boardmaster]

WELCOME TO GRAUPERA

We’ve all had those dreams: you wake up on a table, to blurry, ominous images and the certainty that you are absolutely buck-naked in a room full of strangers. This is not quite it.

Instead, you come awake to the sun on your face. The soft burble of water nearby. The hustle and bustle of a busy street and the faint, fortifying smell of bread. You open your eyes and there’s no one there at your bedside, but there is what appears to be the end of the world happening just beyond your window.

There’s a crack in the world across the sky, the “sun” is the totally unnatural light spilling from that crack straight into your eyes, and someone’s left a neatly pressed and folded uniform at the foot of the bed that isn’t yours. Somewhere in the room, there’s a strange clatter like beads, the click of claws on the floor.

Something’s in here with you.

Also, you are naked.

ONE ♟ CAPABLANCA & AIRY

As much as Blanc’s capital welcomes its Heroes, new arrivals such as yourself won’t have much time to settle. Get dressed and pick up your weapon and Carrier, because sometime in the afternoon, all floor nannies and Carriers will broadcast an announcement by Commander Lisbrand. She delivers a brief greeting to their new members, but gets straight to the point: they will be headed for Capablanca and the open sea beyond, in order to restore the fortress of Graupera for battle with Noir looming on the horizon. All new Heroes are expected to report to the Airy at the Caissa aeroport on the 8th along with their seniors.

On the morning of the 11th, Airy alights on Graupera, an island about two hours away from Capablanca by ferry. From here, you can either help the navy with Graupera repairs or assist in Verdoni’s investigations and head for Capablanca proper. Heroes will be staying in the (in)famous Hotel Caruana: they say you can check in anytime you like, but you can never truly leave. Nobody will quite meet your eyes or tell you what it means.

Wherever you are, the Airy will remain parked at Graupera.

TWO ♟ GRAUPERA, CAPABLANCA SEA FORT

What was once a heavily fortified island rests a ways off the coast of Capablanca; it looks a little too much like one of the thunderclouds slowly swarming on the horizon. Graupera has seen many battles and withstood the ebb and flow of wars. Formerly the city’s first line of defense until it was abandoned after the Reclamation, its dilapidated condition is the current bane of the Blanc navy. Blanc needs to bring it back to its former glory before it can face a single warship, much less Noir’s fleet of magical cannons. Blanc’s government has no doubt Heroes will do a fine job at returning the fortress to its former glory!

A ♙ The great stone and iron wall facing the wide open ocean has seen better days and is full of holes overgrown with stubborn clinging vines; cannonballs used a lifetime ago litter the grounds. The vines are extremely thick and may tangle the careless beyond hope of escape, not to mention filled with a pungent sap that will seep into your clothes and hair for days. It makes a great adhesive, though? Conveniently, parts of the wall are strewn across the floor, so at least some of the cannon holes can be repaired with enough improvisation, desperation and a bit of spit. The rest need new material provided by our helpful Heroes in Option C. Furthermore, the lingering damage from a previous attack and old age have turned the floorboards weak and unstable. The wood creaks ominously beneath the mass of even a single average-sized person, so watch your step.

B ♟ You might want to get your weapon before you descend into the dank depths beneath the castle. Once you make it down the steep, slippery stairs, you’ll be meeting the gigantic, hostile rats that infest the castle cellar from top to bottom. It looks like magical residue from long-ago battles has seeped into both the foundation and its inhabitants. The cellars have become a huge warren filled with strange mana currents, and sometimes flooded with water. If you're going to start an extermination campaign, you may want to recall the magical residue: chopping off a rat’s head and limbs will barely slow it down. It will keep going for hours unless you either lop off all its limbs or pierce its heart.

If you manage to make it all the way up into the castle’s two intact towers (the other two are half-collapsed), the uppermost levels are utterly covered in bird crap. You’ll be encountering the kings of this castle: the unusually large, grey-feathered sea birds that have taken up residence here. Albatrosses, gulls, pelicans, even sand pipers: they all share nesting and pooping space here. The feathers of each bird seem to have taken on stone-like properties not unlike the castle’s walls. They’re extremely ferocious and protective of their nests, which are filled with all kinds of things: twigs, shiny things, coin money, Option C’s supplies, feathers of all kinds, and some completely ordinary tools that seem too small for human hands, and much older than anything else in the place save for the walls. If you look closely, you might be able to see a few baby rats scattered in amongst the eggs and the peeping chicks. They’re being fed, too.

You’re meant to be moving the birds out of the place, but you might have enough trouble just moving their offal.

C ♙ Don’t feel like dealing with pest control? No problem! Blanc will need materials for rebuilding and other supplies for the coming battle! Everyone knows how important it is for the fortress to remain standing, so Heroes will be provided with gadgets and weaponry that should make it difficult for enemies to penetrate the walls yet again. Word has spread that the Heroes are transporting valuable goods, though, so you might have to fend off the occasional hopeful man or annoying mouse (rat) who wishes to borrow much-needed material.

Of course, all this rebuilding will be for naught if you are not prepared to defend the stronghold! Ammunition such as cannonballs, bullets and arrows needs to be transported to Graupera en masse, pronto. Equally important essentials include first aid supplies and enough non-perishable food and water to last a small army (you) a month or two. You wouldn’t want to have to scavenge for rat meat.

No one knows just how long this battle is going to last.

THREE ♟ Training

It’s time for you landlubbers to learn how to swim! Commander Lisbrand won’t be tolerating any sinking stones on her task force. The upcoming battle will be fought on the sea so your instructor, one of Blanc’s many fine captains (when she isn’t intoxicated), will make every single individual who hesitates at the sight of the open ocean walk the plank. She’ll even give you a helpful kick if necessary! Once that’s over, she will show you how to steer a ship. However, wandering eyes that land anywhere on the inebriated captain’s assets will be swiftly and spectacularly dealt a large bottle of the harbor’s best swill right where it hurts.

Blanc has also provided training dummies dressed suspiciously like prominent figures of the Othellian underworld. Now might be a good time to branch out and learn about your affinities. Heroes who have recently been promoted in Rank might want to set some time aside for getting used to their new abilities, too. Power and responsibility come hand in hand, after all!

INFO ♟ Welcome!

Welcome to Crosscheck's April intro log! For any further questions, please see the FAQ or reach us at the Contact Us page. Have fun!

Comments

[glorifiedtrash]

[You know this wasn't how he imagined the day going. Just saying. All the saying.]

--LEAVE NO SINNER FREE -- LUMINOUS BIND!

[Chains of holy light shoot up from the ground and down from the...heavens... Wrapping around the magical menagerie taking up this corner of the courtyard they bind fast. They aren't unbreakable, but they're not a walk in the park either. And they're only so fast. So this is sort of some hideous performance art of man mid-being eaten by multiple heads. FUN STUFF. I assume angel blood tastes like delicious mana, maybe we're skipping to the dining part of this thread early.

Anyways he'd really, really appreciate it if you worked faster Kaede. You know. If you feel slightly pressed at all. As his face scrunches up in pain, but he doesn't let go of the magic just yet. He's been through an hell lot worse than this. He can bear it. For a little while.]

[long_live_the_queen]

[No pressure! No pressure at all!

The light distracted Kaede—as did the Cerberus shaking its head like she was some flea to be dislodged.

She lost her grip on the creature's horn entirely, and her flailing hands snagged the end of the Cerberus' ear instead. Kaede shouted as she struggled to stay on, almost directly into the giant ear.]

Stop that!

[The other hand—the one holding the collar—grabs onto whatever part of the creature's neck she can.]

[houndumb]

[Even a giant dog is going to flinch if a flea yells right in its poor ear, which is exactly what Cerberus does, shrinking back into its mane and the cover of its wings -- which are luckily not low enough to knock Kaede from her precarious handhold. The ears also fold back abruptly, probably smothering her in wet dog mane and providing a convenient place to land... Mission accomplished...?]

... Like... HELL!

[And now the dog is definitely talking, but it's also definitely started shaking its head harder than ever, so hopefully Kaede found a better perch than the one that's now flying around at top speed again.

Speaking of swinging heads, the snake heads spend a few moments with their fangs fastened in whatever parts of Zelos they've managed to reach... drinking some of that angel blood, honestly. Cerberus is always, always hungry for magic, and this is probably not the Heroic mana exchange anybody had in mind. Like. Ever. Suddenly, though, one of the snake heads pulls away as far as the chains will let it -- shaking itself a little like the dog it's attached to, splashing some angel blood onto the pavement. Honestly, it seems a little disgruntled, as though it's bitten into something sour.

The other head stays just a little longer... and shakes itself as best it can with its fangs still in, likely shaking Zelos around in the process like an unruly bug. Only then does it detach itself, still tangled in the chains -- and hisses at its prey.]

Ugh...

[The actual sound of disgust is coming from the direction of the main head, though. Looks like this meal has been rejected.]

[glorifiedtrash]

[RUDE?????? Anyway. Why so many fucking snakes biting him in this world????? NO OKAY REALLY. He stiffens against the shake, fighting to keep his concentration. Funnily enough the contact goes both ways, yay mana replenishment. Makes up a little for the blood loss. A little.]

...And on the sacred day the gods met and gave this prophecy to Blanc:

[IDK WHAT THE PROPHECY ACTUALLY WAS but Zelos would know it so just insert it here. HERE'S YOUR WELCOME EXPOSITION NORA.]

[long_live_the_queen]

[One moment, Kaede definitely had her head and torso and at least one arm in open (rain choked) air.

The next, her body was buried in a very fluffy and very sodden mane. Well, maybe a foot was still sticking out, but ew wet dog smell.

The next moment she was slightly grateful, though; she was able to grab a better handhold in time for the neck muscles beneath her to tremble and shake again with a thunderous voice and another head-toss that would have thrown her clean off if she'd been clinging anywhere else.

Kaede could hear Zelos speaking too; she didn't know what happened to him, but the Cerberus seemed distracted whenever he said anything. She took the opportunity to pull herself out of the creature's mane, and jammed the collar onto the thing's ear.]

[houndumb]

[It's a little hard to follow welcome exposition when your ass is in chains (literally), two of your mouths are full of someone else's mana (this is why you don't go around putting random shit from the ground into your mouth?!), and you have something small and skittery and potentially deadly crawling around on your head. In your fur.

And it's not like Nora ever had much of an ear for exposition, even when he wasn't furry, a handful of stories tall and trying to evade another set of who-knows-who trying to put collars and chains on him. On top of the insidious whispering in his ear that keeps telling him to let his snakes drink their fill, crush the bug in his hair against the nearest section of wall until her blood runs red with mana as well, open his jaws on the world and--

Well, you get the idea. He really isn't going to remember much of these details later. But a distraction is a distraction, and between Cerberus' snake tails thrashing angrily against the chains and trying to ignore the taste of blood in his (their) mouth, Zelos trying to cram foreign words in with the words in his head -- Kaede gets where she needs to go.

There's a light show considerably brighter than Zelos' various spells in the gloom as soon as the collar comes to rest on one large dark ear; there's rumbling almost like thunder, an even brighter flash and for those sensitive to mana, what feels like a very strong and sudden current of magic flowing to a fixed point. And then everything fades and there's just a white-haired boy suspended in mid-air, totally buck-naked and--]

... I SAID, like hell I'm gonna-- Eh?

[Nora barely gets the word out before he's, ah, falling. Through the rain, not that he's too high up, but heads-up, Kaede and Zelos. And sorry for the mooning.]

[glorifiedtrash]

[That's one way to slip out of a set of chains. And-- well. He was more expecting a smaller dog. Not a kid. Not that he has the time to do anything--]

Shi--

[Catching one kid he can do. Catching two kids while injured, well look he's got some limits. DOWN THEY ALL GO. Where's the reset button for this day can he ask for a do-over?!!]

[long_live_the_queen]

[Kaede pinched her eyes shut against the light this time; something twisted in her chest as her own mana responded to the tidal wave of it crashing onto the Cerberus.

And then the surface she was clinging to abruptly...wasn't there, leaving her hands grasping on empty air. That twisting in her chest turned into a sickening knot as she fell, shouting.

She cracked her head against someone on the way down, horns first, which sends her head ringing like a tuning fork. Ow.]

[houndumb]

OW!

[Seriously, not only is it disorienting to suddenly go from giant and four-legged to smaller and two-legged and then falling into the world's soggiest and bloodiest dogpile, he had to meet the world's most unfortunate horned headbutt too?! If only he still had his own horns out, maybe they would've bounced off each other...

It's a good thing Nora is probably one of the most hard-headed demons around, else that would've knocked him out entirely; as it is, he's just dazed for a good while. Which may be a good thing. The stray collar they rounded up is half-fallen over his head where they're all sprawled, so at least the effort wasn't wasted...]

[glorifiedtrash]

[How about they all just lay around for a second. Zelos thinks that's a good idea. especially since he's simultaneously trying to breathe and not lose his lunch right now.

Urgh... But... They seem okay. He thinks. That's what's important.]

G...good job.

[He means that. Genuinely. Haphazardly he'll pat whichever part of both of them he can reach. ...Like they're dogs, but look ATTEMPTS BEING MADE.]

...And get the hell off. This...isn't a resort...!

[long_live_the_queen]

[Whatever Kaede landed on afterwards, it had way too many lumps to be the ground. That was an elbow digging into her spine, for instance. As dazed and short of breath as she was, that definitely encouraged her to move faster. Or at least roll away and off of the pile of limbs.

Also someone was touching her head stop immediately.]

[houndumb]

God... damn it...

[Ah, well, at least this one's recovered enough to run his mouth already. His head is still smarting enough that Nora doesn't really register the pat (which probably lands somewhere on his nose, honestly, the pile is messy enough); good thing, too, else he really might end up biting the hand while he's out of it. (... Again.)

Once Kaede rolls off, though, and he gets hit by the cool air and the rain? He sits up like a shot, not bothering to roll away properly (we're really sorry, Zelos) before he starts tugging at the collar still stuck halfway on his head. And yelling. Can never forget the yelling.]

What the hell are you people playing at, what the hell is this, get it off I've had enough of collars for--

[Someone... may want to stop him before he pulls it off and all their hard work is undone, oops. For the moment, it seems to be stuck fast on his hair. This is what you get for having three ridiculous ponytails on your head, Nora.]

[glorifiedtrash]

[Can he just groan pathetically? That's a thing he's doing, yes. All this rolling and jumping about is really not helping after having a combined ~200lbs fall on him. Which is both a blessing and a worry because together they should be heavier, but details.

As much as he wouldn't mind taking a bit of a dirt nap right now he knows he can't. He's got to keep moving, keep being useful. Can't...fail them. At least, he doesn't want to fail these two who've appeared her so suddenly and unknowingly against their own will. Because-- Whatever, he just can't.

Sitting up slowly himself, he winces. Once he catches sight of what Nora's doing though he sits up an hell of a lot faster, reaching out to grab Nora's hand in an attempt to yank it away from the kid's latest bdsm accessory. And. Only anything in the area of "things worn on the body".]

Stop acting like a brat! [Okay? Okay. He calls it like he sees it!!! Speaking of he does look to Kaede.] Thanks. For caring about this dumb dog here. [that being Nora... Anyway, taking a breath! It's silly, how relieved he feels to see them in one piece. But really he truly does... So he doesn't bother hiding a kinder look than he usually wears.] You're new too, right?

[long_live_the_queen]

[Kaede staggered to her feet, wobbling and unsteady and—that person(?) that had been that giant dog(??) was taking the sealing collar off. Why did that give him thumbs, this is unacceptable.]

You fucking put that shit back on—!

[Ah yes, Miss Tact and Politeness. Kaede staggered over to Nora and grabbed onto the collar, shoving it back down onto his head.

She'd be sympathetic later but she really, really doesn't want to do any repeats of Colossus Climbing for at least an hour, okay.

It's in the middle of dunking on some kid's head that she remembers someone else is talking to her. Also, he said the word that confused her. That "caring" word. It distracted her so thoroughly she froze in the middle of what she was doing, staring at Zelos in befuddlement.]

I guess, sort of.

[Kaede's voice was profoundly less hostile for a moment.]

[houndumb]

I'm not a brat or a dog, damn you--

[Nora immediately starts struggling in Zelos' hold, but actually he's not getting much of anywhere; all his limbs are oddly jelly-like and don't really feel like his limbs, a little like you'd feel after swimming a few miles through a thunderstorm, falling off a cliff and landing in a mud puddle. Or like you'd feel after wrestling a really large, really annoying hellhound off your head and back into your headspace.

Ah, and then Kaede basically lands on his poor abused head. Again. Kaede, what is with you and trying to give him blunt force trauma to the skull, he's supposed to wear this collar, not Dragonball fuse with it.

It gets him struggling harder than ever, with even less effectiveness than before now that he's essentially been dogpiled (again).]

Ow, can you fucking stop, I'm going to have marks on my face!! I-- [somewhere under the fog of tiredness and sogginess and semi-panicked last-ditch fury he registers that something isn't right here; probably a lot of things aren't, but something...] What the hell, you're bleeding all over everything!

[So tactful....... but seriously, what are you people doing, he's not interested in wearing someone's insides OK??]

[glorifiedtrash]

[It seems he's not the only one who's tired. Something to keep in mind. But for now-- he lets go of Nora's hand. Slowly, but that's more due to care for his own injuries than reluctance. For the briefest moment his eyes wander down to look at the gouges in his skin and the red mingling with his hair and streaming down to swirl on the cobblestones thanks to the rain. It definitely hurts, but--]

Don't worry about it. [Carefully shrugging off his jacket he holds it out to Nora. It had been white. Now it's much less so. Also: wet. But it's what Zelos has so it'll have to do.] Just get me to my room, sparks.

[His eyes flick up to Kaede's face, something inquiring there.]

Come with us? I can fill you in on things.

[long_live_the_queen]

[Kaede maintains what somehow ended up turning more into a clumsy headlock, far, far less trustful that the...thing that came out of the Cerberus was going to behave.]

Fine.

[Some of her latent grumpiness had returned!

Though her expression relaxes again when she sees her Carrier approaching; like the dutiful dog he resembles, he's dragging her axe with him! The entire thing. It's at least three times as tall as he is and he has to drag half of it against the ground but he's not letting that stop him!!]

Naoki, put that down. You'll hurt your teeth.

[The dog wags his tail in acknowledgement, and proceeds to ignore the command until he's trotted over to his master's side and puts the weapon down.]

[houndumb]

What the hell, I could've eaten you.

[Once all his limbs are free again, Nora immediately scoots a little away from Zelos, mostly to get out of the blood puddle and the general amount of water they've all managed to bring to the party; of course, Kaede is still trying to semi-strangle him, so he doesn't get very far. He's not a squeamish demon (if there's any such thing), but it's a little disconcerting when he can remember how that tasted.

So the mutinous look that gets directed at Zelos (because he's in his line of sight, mostly) and at the world at large is equal parts indignant, bewildered, and oozing with annoyance that has absolutely nowhere to go. Instead, he tugs rebelliously at the collar again where his fingers are jammed under it thanks to the girl on his head. Just in case.

Also doesn't take the jacket, even if he does freeze briefly and then curl up as a concession to the rain. If he pretends he didn't lose all his clothes somewhere then they can deal and it can keep for later. More importantly:]

What the hell do you want then? Where the hell is this? It doesn't look like the human world, so I'm warnin' you right now, I sent the last guy who tried to catch me packing!

[Never mind the current situation, or the persistent ache in his head from being headbutted, or literally anything, he's still got the energy to talk big. And probably attempt to look intimidating (and fail totally) despite being waterlogged and Kaede-logged and probably also blood-logged.]

[glorifiedtrash]

[That's a pretty loaded question Nora can't possibly begin to understand the implications of. For the briefest moment he even ponders it which is rather unlike him. But it's no good. Moving into a crouch he puts his hands on his knees. From there he pushes himself up to standing, taking his time, not making a fuss about the pain or the blood. You know real manly man bullshit. Only when that's done does he drop his jacket over Nora's head. And then reaches down to pick the younger man up and sling Nora over his shoulder. THIS IS NOT HIS SMARTEST MOVE for the record.

But godamn he's not sitting out here bleeding to death for tantrums. Grunting with the strain of it all he holds out his hand to Kaede.]

Help me? We've got a set of stairs to climb.

[long_live_the_queen]

[Kaede let go of Nora only when she saw movement from Zelos' direction; after he'd covered Nora's head with his uniform's jacket like it was a falconry hood, she started to stumble upright, grabbing her axe as she did so.

Though in the time it took her just to stand up, Zelos had...also picked up the new kid. While bleeding.]

You're going to kill yourself.

[Aw, she cares.

It definitely doesn't take any more prompting to grab his hand and shoulder some of his weight, though. As bruised as her head was she still came out of all that substantially less mauled than Zelos did; it was the least she could do.]

[houndumb]

[Excuse you, it's not a tantrum when you've literally just been dropped in the middle of fuck-knows-where by fuck-knows-who, had what's supposed to be a pretty powerful sealing spell and contract casually walk off into the wild blue yonder, inexplicably had another sealing spell put on by highly suspicious and utter strangers, and-- well, it's been a day, suffice it to say. Really, the last point is the most important one.

He's never been very pleased with being human-shaped, particularly without his magic as fallback; and particularly when he's being kidnapped. Probably. Is this a kidnapping?! Because it's looking a whole lot like one. Not that he can see anything since Zelos dumped an actual bloody jacket over his head like a hoodlum.]

Not... kill... first...!

[... is what the muffled sounds coming from the jacket bundle seem to be. Roughly. Nora didn't even wait for Zelos to get to the slinging part to start struggling, but -- well, once Kaede gets in on the action he really doesn't have much of a chance of getting anywhere. This dogpiling is getting old, man.

Not that he gives up or anything, so getting up those stairs will probably be an adventure.]

[glorifiedtrash]

[It's okay Zelos gives back by completely not being careful of smacking Nora against doorframes. And walls. And furniture. There's an whole lot of NOT CARE going on here, is he trying to help Nora or beat him up... As they go they pass maids and other staff who are quick to rush over with varied cries of "Master Zelos...!" because. Well. You know. Kidnapping, bleeding, being led by a pretty girl. Clearly there's an Ordeal going on.

Zelos verbally waves them off, the only sign of his displeasure at their presence his tightening grip on Kaede's hand. These people...he does not like. He hates being in the Hall of Glory. But the boy needs clothes and he should probably make sure the girl's not hurt. She did have quite the fall.

When they reach Queen 202 he'll stop them. Inside is a very unlived in room. Two of the beds have clearly been untouched for some time, one is relatively normal and the last has an horde of crap on it. ...Ignore the wanton picture of Gilgamesh sitting on a dresser nobody needs or wants to know okay. ANYWAY dropping Nora on Kavi's bed! Before dropping to sit on the floor himself despite the fact there's a table with perfectly good chairs in the middle of the room.

There's also a fox in the room which eagerly bounds over to Zelos, desperately wanting attention. ...Glancing at it Zelos's expression cools. He knows his carrier is an insult to him, a constant reminder of choices he made and their consequences. He's not fond of it. But just this once the fox can come in handy. Reaching into a pocket he pulls out some colle and hands it over to the creature, telling it to "get a basket", before leaning back against the bed and closing his eyes. All the mana exchanging helped, but he definitely needs to get his shit together and cast an healing spell. Or perform some kind of first aid on himself at least. The fox hesitates for a moment before sprinting out of the room.]

So. What's the first question?

[long_live_the_queen]

[The longer she kept holding Zelos' hand, the...strangely calmer Kaede felt. even if she was half-dragging him along most of the time and the staff didn't bother her when her face looked like murder was the last thought on her mind. Listening to the thumps of Nora's head against doorframes was a strangely satisfying sound. Even though the impacts didn't seem to do anything because there was definitely still squawking happening.

She'd never been in the Queen hall, though; it looked...largely similar to the building Kaede woke up in, just the numbers were all different. She wasn't too worried about waltzing into the room of someone who'd been a stranger until an hour ago (though she did side-eye the hell out of that picture, what the fuck).

Besides being utterly soaked and having strands of giant dog hair stuck to her uniform, Kaede wasn't limping or overtly injured. Still with a headache from smacking into Nora's head and however many bruises from the fall, but nothing was broken. Kaede chooses to sit on a chair anyway; she's a civilized murderer, thank you very much. She did look like she was about to pet the fox Carrier between the ears when it dashes out again. Naoki makes a disappointed sound, but plops down at her feet to wait. Maybe the new friend would be back!]

I've been here for almost two months now, so I know the basic brochure spiel. He probably doesn't.

[She glanced pointedly at the struggling jacket monster.]

[houndumb]

[You should probably start by pitying those poor doorframes and furniture; they really don't know what hit 'em, and even putting aside the sturdiness of Nora's skull the lot of them are probably ruining the furnishings by tracking water everywhere. Including into the room Zelos nominally lives in; poor Kavi's in for a rude surprise later, probably.

Meanwhile, though, Nora hasn't actually stopped yelling the entire time -- somehow, he still had enough energy to keep up a litany of curses and threats despite all of them being muffled, all the way up the stairs and beyond, despite wobbling a little where he sits once he's free.

It's quite possible his mouth comes with its own separate set of motor skills.]

I already asked it! You're the ones who decided-- [and so, right in the middle of throwing off the jacket and trying to untangle himself from the bed and scoot as far away from them as possible (and nearly falling off the bed because that's his life)... he freezes] --The hell is that?

[Of course the first thing he sees of the interior of the Hall of Glory is the sordid Gilgamesh painting. Thanks, guys.]

[glorifiedtrash]

...?

[Zelos opens his eyes. Follows that gaze. Freezes. ...This is the downfall of never visiting your room except to drop crap off. You don't know when someone's left you porn.]

...I'll tell you when you're older. Next question.

[And...ugh. VAGUE GESTURE AT KAEDE]

In that trunk there's some clothes he can put on.