[open] jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock.

[babbylon]

Who: Gilgamesh and everyone! A group holiday party for the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" job.
When: Forward dated to December 7th or so.
Where: Heaven's Feel, Caissa
What: Gilgamesh and friends are getting into the holiday spirit, and you're invited! Join for gifts, grog, mistletoe and more.
Rating: There will probably be drunken shenanigans going on, thus PG-13 to be safe.

Happy Holidays!



[The holidays are in full swing at Heaven's Feel! Brightly lit trees and ornaments litter the store, with warm fires blazing, gentle music playing and mistletoe strung from every available spot on the ceiling. The ostentatious host stands at the ready to attend every need and ensure everyone has a match of their very own this holiday season—including you!

Generous portions of hot chocolate, gingerbread cookies, and wine are being offered free of charge to all guests. These delights are enchanted to fill you with an extra dose of courage, so be bold! Go after your crush, engage a complete stranger, or just do something really crazy to celebrate the joyous occasion. 'tis the season to be jolly, after all.

The sprigs of mistletoe have been charmed by Gilgamesh to encourage smooching. The urge to pucker up beneath them will be strong, so watch where you stand! If you look beneath the big tree in the center of the store, you'll find a gift addressed to you. It could be an article of clothing, a ticket for free services, or even something more personal!

Naturally, Heaven's Feel matchmaking services are always available, so feel free to fill out a card while you're here or just get cozy by the fireplace. Merry Cherima, everyone!]

Comments

[anti_altruisms]

I wouldn't want to upset your wife.

[ The connotations they attach to "punishment" are clearly quite different.

Again, he takes a sip of his hot chocolate. ]

If you want to try, you might as well get on with it.

[babbylon]

...first off, do not treat it as such a burden. You were a Servant, once; we were designed for these sorts of exchanges. On some level, we do like it.

[That's putting it lightly. Still, his expression turns to one that's slightly... abashed? No, that can't be right. Maybe silly's a better word for it. At the very least, he's encouraging Archer to lighten up rather than see it as something so regrettable, something he must suffer through instead of enjoy.

That and it's kind of hard to attach any ulterior motives to this when he's in that stupid Santa suit.]

Secondly, relax. I would not want to upset her, either, behaving so untoward in a public space. Surely I've curried a small amount of favor yet.

[anti_altruisms]

[ Sorry, Gilgamesh. Huffiness is basically part of the package with him. ]

Not all of us were hedonists in life.

[ Just sayin'.

He drains the rest of his cocoa and sets it aside. ]

If you hadn't curried any, we wouldn't be discussing this.

[babbylon]

An unfortunate reality.

[That striking lack of hedonism or that everlasting sass, he does not specify.

But Gilgamesh opts for the straightforward approach, now, and makes no further parade of it. Emptying his own glass, he uses Archer's knee as leverage and leans forward and up—in doing so, he catches the man's lips and kisses him. It is neither particularly chaste, as Gilgamesh could never truly be, nor inappropriately lewd, as he's well-aware of what Archer really meant by "punishment". It simply is, an expression of affectionate pleasure from one person to another. Nothing more, nothing less.

Of course, kissing Gilgamesh is rather like taming a resting bull. Even if he seems docile at first, that is bound to change.]

[anti_altruisms]

[ The sass is part of his charm.

Stiffening slightly when Gilgamesh leans over, Archer doesn't fuss or try to push the other man away. He did agree to indulge in this particular tradition (with a stubborn caveat) so it's a little late for over-reactions. It's just a kiss, and it'll be over before he knows it.

Warm lips press against his, and while part of him does shy away from it instinctively, Archer holds himself steady and...accepts it. He doesn't take it like a stoic man who wants nothing more than to get away from this situation (which he does), but rather, he does give Gilgamesh the chance, at least, to please him.

He expects a more forceful, domineering gesture, but there's warmth to it that engages rather than threatens. That coaxes rather than demands.

A light flush tinges his cheeks, and Archer returns the kiss tentatively - politely. He doesn't give a thought to taking things any further than this. ]

[babbylon]

[It is indeed much like coaxing a surly animal to behave. In fact, this whole courtship has arguably been based on the very same notion: that Archer was mistrustful by nature and required care and attention to lure into complacency or something like it. And even then, Gilgamesh would be a fool not to notice how Archer's muscles coil, how his body tenses instinctively, as if to finish a fight before it ever starts. Whatever Archer was or was not as a person, as a Servant he was enviably good at what he did. He was a machine, built to battle, and Gilgamesh could admire that in small doses.

Slowly, carefully, he eases his way into Archer's lap. His lips retreat, briefly, only to come again and again, daring a little further each time. A little deeper. This man needed acclimation to intimacy and that is precisely what Gilgamesh sets out to do. A little further, a little deeper, a little more with each brush rather than a forceful push to the finish line.

Gilgamesh could be patient, when it suited him. And it seemed patience was the only way to go with the Hero once called Shirou Emiya.]

[anti_altruisms]

[ Beasts of Alaya such as himself are, by their very design, efficient, brutal weapons. He's been honed over the course of many long years to be that way, and of course, he's paid a price for it. While he might excel in battle and the machinations of war, when it comes to softer things that require something of the humanity he feels he's lost, he can't help the awkwardness that follows. He's made some progress, but he's still a man in search of himself.

It's why he tenses again when Gilgamesh slides closer and into his lap. It's also why Archer envisions grabbing the man by the throat and throwing him off -- and several other ways he might retaliate for this invasion of his space.

It never happens, though, and one of the only reasons it doesn't is because he doesn't want to make a scene.

A low, muffled sound of protest escapes him, and it's obvious that, even though he's choosing not to bite Gilgamesh's tongue off or otherwise stop him, he's uneasy. This isn't what he bargained for. ]

[babbylon]

[Once, Gilgamesh would've shoved his way past without any concern for Archer's comfort... but now he does halt, though he still refuses to relinquish the ground he's gained, staring at Archer with bloody eyes that are all too vivid in the muted light. He watches him, closely, studying. Questioning him without a single word, what it is that you want? Not causing a scene didn't strike Gilgamesh as a high priority for someone who valued their independence so highly. Less that he's uncomfortable, it's more that he's uncertain from the King's perspective. And that much was to be expected from a man who may not have been kissed properly in a very long time.

Gilgamesh may have deduced Archer's nature, but Archer must understand his own, just as he claimed: he will always want everything and everyone for himself. He sits there, a cat in repose, and waits for Archer to make a move. He does not fear him and he does not fear retribution, instead seeming curious just what he'll do.]

[anti_altruisms]

[ He doesn't want to cause a scene because, despite his instincts, he knows he isn't actually being threatened. He values his independence, but at the same time, he values others over himself and would rather not create a fuss over nothing. He is uncomfortable, and yet, he doesn't know what he wants.

Archer was never a self-seeking man to begin with (quite the opposite), but years upon years of his own desires effectively being suppressed to better fulfill his role doesn't do much to encourage him to want now.

He doesn't say anything. Instead, Archer wrestles silently with what he wants done - whether he should have Gilgamesh remove himself or not. Whether he wants to continue or not.

His uncertainty is obviously, but the fact that he has no answer of his own to offer is frustrating, too.

Finally, after a long pause, Archer nudges the other man's nose gently with his own. If nothing else, it's permission to keep going, and he's settled enough to allow it. ]

[babbylon]

[Gilgamesh does not, however, move in for the kill once prompted.

He reaches up, now with his hand, to thread fingers through smooth, silvery hair. It's not an entirely alien feeling; he's known it before in that time they both won't speak of. But it is a reminder that for a man who declares himself something beyond human, he still has all the features of one.

And Gilgamesh explores them, slowly, carefully, as if he's never seen such things before. Touches his brow, the shell of an ear, the plane of a cheek, over his lips and across a firm jaw and down his neck, tracing all the way to the tender spot on his chest that houses his heart. He listens to each thump, and smiles, faintly.

Humans were frustrating animals. But they could also be quite beautiful by the virtue of their simple design.]

Do you dislike it?

[Gilgamesh asks, abruptly, eyes flickering to Archer's.]

No... I think, what's likeliest on your mind... "I do not know it, I do not understand it, I do not grasp it".

[And for all Archer can be a difficult read, Gilgamesh is certain he has it right this time.]

[anti_altruisms]

[ It isn't a completely unfamiliar feeling. He does recall at least one time since he's arrived that someone touched him this way -- it was soothing then, and it feels nice now. It's disconcerting at the same time, though, and while he doesn't overtly react to the gentle perusal of his face and torso, he does appear at a loss. He doesn't know what the other means to show or communicate with this, and it shows.

But does he, in fact, hate any of this? ]

...no.

[ He doesn't dislike it, but Gilgamesh's assessment is fairly close to the mark -- he doesn't know how to process this, and so it makes him uneasy.

Again, there's a pause. ]

I don't understand.

[ A soft admission. ]

[babbylon]

It is fine to want something for yourself.

[A lifetime of struggle which Gilgamesh words so easily in a single sentence. More than discomfort, more than disagreement, the issue boils down to I cannot possibly have it. All Servants battled against this instinct, even King among them all, because even their King lacked in what each and every one craved: freedom.

Gilgamesh rests comfortably atop Archer's legs, as if he always belonged there, and tells him thus:]

It is fine to pursue your desires... and even if you happen to not know what they are, is also fine to say, "I shall chase after that horizon regardless".

[Something that may not sink in, in the moment, but he'll learn eventually.]

I am gifting you the freedom to choose this holiday. Consider us even, for saving my life I now save you with my graciousness.

[anti_altruisms]

[ I cannot possibly have it, is a state of mind Archer has held for a long time. A weapon does not have companions or set goals. It is there to kill and nothing else, and that has been his role for many years. Certainly, he still has a personality of his own, but everything has been sublimated for efficiency's sake and trying to keep his own sanity intact. Logically, he knows more is possible here, that he's no longer bound, but it's difficult to break from programming like that.

Still quiet, Archer doesn't move or offer much in the way of a reaction. He isn't sure how sincere Gilgamesh is being with all of this, but he isn't wrong, per se. This issue is, Archer has yet to determine what sort of horizon he should be chasing.

After a moment, he looks away. Another quiet admission follows: ]

I don't desire anything.

[ Or at least, not for himself. If he ever knew how to want things for himself when he was young, he's largely forgotten how to now. ]

[babbylon]

I excuse it. It is in itself a desire: a desire to find meaning in something not yet obtained.

[And that's all Gilgamesh has to say about that. There is no remedy for it other than time.

His features lighten up considerably, as if they hadn't just been engaged in deep philosophical discussion, and he proceeds to lounge. Subtly, this was teaching Archer something else—growing accustomed to intimate proximity being treated with a casual air.]

Well, I did try. You try, too. Or else I would be most disappointed that you failed my lesson.

[anti_altruisms]

[ ...well. There is that. An immediate solution is definitely out of reach for the moment, but finding meaning and purpose here beyond participating in Blanc's battles is a goal in itself. He just doesn't know how to go about it besides simply trying to live every day - which may just have to be enough for now.

Archer's brow furrows a little (at the lounging or the topic, it's hard to say), and he suppresses a sigh. ]

You might have to be.

[ Be disappointed, that is. ]

[babbylon]

You know very well how to kiss, you stubborn mule.

[Gilgamesh gives him a little push on the chest. His broad... muscular... handsome... whoops, don't get distracted.]

Better than many, even. You have a bad habit of not granting yourself nearly enough credit.

[anti_altruisms]

[ ...oh, is that what they're talking about?

Archer huffs a little when Gilgamesh prods him. ]

I don't have a reference point to compare myself to.

[babbylon]

Then make your own.

[You big baka.]

And quit being so tentative. You did not explode when my lips touched yours, as you may note.

[anti_altruisms]

[ No, his lips didn't explode, but he still isn't sure about...all of this.

The look that follows is almost...reproachful. ]

I'm not going out of my way for this.

[ It just isn't done. Or that's how he sees it, anyway. ]

[babbylon]

This is literally a matter of inches. Centimeters, even.

[Bro.]

[anti_altruisms]

[ ...oh.

Archer looks startled, perhaps even a little flustered for a moment. ]

...now?

[ You really want him initiating anything right now, bruh? ]

[babbylon]

[Sweet Christmas, Archer, you are such a goddamned nerd.

Gilgamesh doesn't say anything, he just stares because he's pretty sure that coveys the exact same message.]

[anti_altruisms]

[ ...well, this is awkward.

He had assumed they were finished, but as Gilgamesh seems to be waiting expectantly...

A bit of color tinges his cheeks, and Archer seems to wrestle with himself again over whether he really wants to do this or not.

After a long moment, he seems to collect himself enough to nudge their noses together and offer a soft kiss - a tentative, exploratory gesture. He might not be bad at this, but he needs to be a little more relaxed and into things before he can be good. ]

[babbylon]

[How thoughtful.

Gilgamesh blows a raspberry several seconds in to remind him to relax a little.]

[anti_altruisms]

[ Rude??????

Archer makes a face and...tries to relax. It's difficult, too, when he feels extremely self-conscious about all of this, up to and including the fact that Gilgamesh is on his lap with no apparent intentions to leave.

He takes a breath, and when he tries again, it's just as slow, but...firmer. Fuller, more committed, and generally rather like the first kiss Gilgamesh gave him.

It may not be perfect, but he is trying... ]