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Who: Niles, and Sonia
When: Early November
Where: The forests of Blanc.
What: Niles and Sonia on the hunt for a carbuncle's gem, nothing can go wrong here. Bets will be taken on how long before Niles makes pointed references to carbuncle's "crown jewels".
Rating: Rated N for Niles.

[Niles was used to odd jobs. He'd always been part Leo's retainer, and part odd-job man back home, so a gathering mission didn't seem to be too far out of his comfort zone. Working with someone else on the job, however, was new, and if he were to be entirely frank he wasn't sure he had a lot of faith in someone he'd never worked with before. He had no idea if Sonia had any experience with tracking, or with handling herself in a fight, if the Carbuncle gets defensive.

He lets out a heavier-that-necessary sigh, twirling a spare arrow idly between his fingers.]

So.

[It wasn't like they could just expect a Carbuncle to wander out and offer up its gem for them to take whenever they felt like. According to the information they'd been given, genuine laughter was the key to summoning one.]

Which one of us is supposed to be breaking into mirthful laughter first? I can tickle you, if it'll help.

[Looks like it's you, Sonia.]

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[ She's still a bit apprenhensive about their first meeting, but teaming up to do some good seemed like a sure way to make relations more amiable, plus, hopefully she could ask him some questions while they were working.

That seems to go out of the window as she eyes the arrow, listening to what he has to say. ]

So? [ She repeats it softly, then waits for his great idea... what he says is slightly worrying. ]

Is it not inappropriate for a man to touch a lady when they barely know each other?

[ She holds out her hand in front of herself, clearly objecting to the idea. ]

Is it?

[Niles' voice is carefully, deliberately light.]

And I thought ladies enjoyed a little attention from time to time.

[The arrow is still twirling in his hands, so he's clearly not about to try and mercilessly tickle Sonia's sides any time yet. Unless he's also planning on stabbing her in the side with a rogue arrow. Which only sounds messier than he really wants to deal with.]

You're quick to cut an idea down, but not as quick to offer an alternative. I don't suppose you're hiding a sparkling array of jokes for an occasion such as this, are you?

Of course it is. [ Her hand moves to her hip, and she gives him a slightly concerned look. ]

There is a very good reason why I do not step too close to others. A princess must adhere to certain rules.

[ Clearly she's also suspecting him of foul play here, so ... you know. ]

I do not have any jokes, I do not think. There are other ways of inducing laughter, however.

Enlighten me on these rules of yours.

[Because the only princesses he knows are... unique. Young, bright and prone to hugging those close enough to her. Older, sexier, and with plenty of knowing how to use her sexuality to her advantage. It wasn't like Niles was blind, he was fully aware that Camilla was an attractive woman. And she gave as good as she got - responding to Niles with just as heavy double entendres as ones he used in the first place.

So maybe they have different ideas of how a princess works here.]

Oh? Such as? [There are always silly dances if they get very stuck, but that probably would be scraping the bottom of the barrel.]

You are not aware? A princess must maintain an air of grace at all times. She must also remain open and friendly to those that approach her, but she must be careful in where she touches. Merely a pat on the shoulder or head, no more.

[ Camilla is a special breed of princess though lbr... and Elise is a cutie. Too cute for her own good. ]

I must not be so foolish to let someone take advantage of me.

[ Which is where she gives him a stern look. ] In that case, is it not you who should suffer being tickled instead?

[ In which case she never answers his request for other ways.... ah ]

Hm.

[He's thinking very hard about the number of affectionate hugs he's seen Camilla giving her retainers. Or his own interactions with Leo, if a gender flip is permissible. The rather... intimate hugs he's heard that Corrin had been subject to, given Camilla's affection and her low cut clothing.]

I feel we have experience with very different types of princesses.

[Oh? A novel idea.]

I'm not ticklish. [Imagine if he was, and he was caugh and tortured for information?? All of Nohr's darkest secrets would be aired out in mere seconds.

After a moment though, he gives Sonia a heavy, speculative look. Brace yourself, Sonia.]

How bold of you though. You baulk at the idea of my touching you, yet are quick to suggest placing your hands all over my body instead.... [Cue dramatic sighs.] Such double standards, milady.

Apparently so. [ Though some probably have been caught in scandals... and she has found herself as a wanted terrorist due to brainwashing so not everything goes well even when you behave yourself.

Still, her head cants to the side and she looks confused. ]

Men are more likely to use a situation to their advantage, are they not? [ Well... when you know guys like Teruteru... or maybe even Souda. ]

You're not concerned that putting such a barrier between yourself and your people makes you untouchable? No matter how open or friendly you are, it's hollow if you're not approachable on all levels, wouldn't you say?

[He's... definitely picking on her ideals on purpose now. It'd be a straight up shame if he didn't, really.]

... [WELL HE CAN'T DENY IT.] That's a rather branching accusation. But not inaccurate. Still, I've met both men and woman who are more than willing to get physical when given an opportunity.

Not entirely, no. My people see the hard work I put in for them. [ Though that went up in flames. ] However, I cannot say that is the same for all of them, or those of other countries. [ Her gaze flickers away. ] I have been abducted twice, after all. When I was younger I was used as a bargaining chip, it is hard to trust that people will have you or your country's best interests at heart.

[ She isn't a healer or fighter like Elise or Camilla either, ok.

But exactly. ] I do not believe it is the same for all, but ... it is safer to be more careful. You can rest assured I would not have interest, therefore it would be safe.

[ You aren't a dark lord, Niles... it's all ok ]

Oh, you don't need to give me the pep talk about protecting royalty, or the good and bad of being a prominent figure in a country. I'm a royal retainer, being aware of those kinds of plots is half my job.

[He does know what he's doing, Sonia.]

Reassuring. But remember when I told you I'm not ticklish...?

[There is a Fatal Flaw in your logic, Sonia.]

I do not have that kind of protection. [ Her eyes flicker to the floor briefly before she gives him a tiny smile. ] Whoever you take care of must be very lucky.

[ Sadly, she's just got to be ice cold sometimes okok ]

That is a slight problem, yes. It would appear that is an avenue we may not venture down. Did you have other ideas in mind? Are you certain laughter is the only thing that may call it?

Milord would probably beg to differ. My goal is to turn his hair as white as my own, in as short a time as possible, you see. [SUCH SCANDAL.]

Laughter is the easiest way to summon it. Unless you have experience tracking small creatures, in which case we could do this the harder way.

[There's a brief pause. But Niles has no filter, so it doesn't take long for him to go ahead and say what he was going to say anyway.]

Or if you have a microphone and canned laughter track under that skirt of yours.

I can see why. [ She says it softly though, as though she's seeing through something as well. He wouldn't be a royal retainer if he didn't care at all, after all. ]

Though while I have experience in looking after hamsters, that is not the same situation... no.

[ She gives him a confused look at the suggestion though, looking down and ??? ] I do not believe that would stay in place.

You take your fun where you can find it. [His just happens to come in the form of antagonising almost everyone he meets. Fun times.]

... Be a little creative. If the hamster were to run off, how would you coax it to return to you?

[He sounds more serious now. Half of getting a job done is working with what you have, and using some ideas that think outside of the box.]

And this is what you would call fun? [ How strange... at least she seems more surprised than insulted. ]

I would offer food or attention. However... the hamsters I am used to are rather well trained. [ She looks a bit unsure now. ]

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[closed]

now it looks like i took forever to reply [lonely]

you always leave me hanging.... noyoudon't

beccichans?!?!

plays tiny violin for self

plays the saxophone in the bg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kas6akz1jWU

dsGDSKGDSKGSDKG

i think that video is my favourite thing ever

i once completed a 10 hr loop of what is love....

baby don't hurt me....

no more

immediately hurts you

wow?!

wow indeed

HUFFS