[closed] Unless you desperately want a bar prompt...?

[ordealer]

Who: Kain (ordealer) and Estinien (dragoonage)
When: After the war and/or Teddy's gift spree.
Where: A pub, named something like the Three-Legged Duck (locally known as the Dicky Ducky)
What: After war report with...other shit going on! Maybe some nuktuk shade throwing depending on timing.
Rating: Probably the generic PG-13 that most logs here seem to hit, upgraded accordingly as things go on.

[So the Three-Legged Duck wouldn't have been Kain's first choice, but he was suspecting that the entire damn country was void of anything he'd consider his choice. He was willing to settle. He also wasn't wearing his uniform because like hell he was going to reveal that he was a Hero given recent events.

As trivia night unfurled about them (subject being their fellow Heroes) like a flag he turned to Estinien, who Kain either ran into in the process of satiating his craving for an ale and a quieter corner or ran into at the pub but either way was alright enough people that the details don't matter, and asked the obvious question.] So, what did you get?

[This would likely segue into shop talk, but...well, given the gifting spree it was a good question.]

Comments

nuktukshaming time

[dragoonage]

[ Is it possible for Estinien to pretend he doesn't know what he means? Could he give a pathetic answer without resorting to lying about it entirely? Could something, anything, possibly come in and distract them long enough for the question to be forgotten entirely?

Nay, he's not that lucky. Not even in a terrible situation such as this. He drags himself out of his cup in order to answer solemnly. ]

The strangest looking pair of pants I've ever seen. [ A light scoff. ] In fact, I'm not entirely certain that they're pants. They could be some sort of woven death trap.

[ordealer]

[And he gave a solemn nod in return, realizing in that moment that he managed to get off rather well compared to most everyone else he had heard from thus far. Not that he was going to admit it.] I received clothes as well.

[Fashionable ones, in fact. Not that he was going to admit it.] I wonder what he was thinking. Our Prime Minister. [He says the words 'prime minister' in the same way one would say, "Becky's three year old son." or something of that ilk.]

[dragoonage]

[ A raised eyebrow—more clothing, of that nightmarish style? Sorry, Kain, he's hoping that yours is just as terrible as his own. He doesn't want to be alone in suffering with... whatever he's supposed to call the pants he received. ]

Whatever it was, I'd like him to stop thinking of me when he does think it. [ Just leave him alone, let him be grumpy in his corner in peace, Teddy. ] Mayhap I can use them as a lasso, or some other ungodly form of trap.

[ordealer]

Tis better than the alternative, as hard as it may be to hear. Far better to be noticed among the others than overlooked when it comes to poor gifts from those with power. I believe. Honestly-

[Drink.]

-the more I see the less convinced I am that he's the one who truly has influence when it comes to our fates. [Basically, he's a pretty figurehead.]

[dragoonage]

[ Estinien's not sure he agrees, but that's really just because those in power in Ishgard, aside from Aymeric, are... dubious. Sure, that's the word he'll use. He shudders to think of a gift he'd receive from the former archbishop.

...he shudders to try and rid himself of the image of, instead of Teddy, the archbishop looking in on him eagerly for a reaction. ]

I agree. Seems like he's just here to ease our minds. I went to talk to him, when I first arrived. [ There's a small sneer. ] He fed me a pile of honeyed words about how they're so sorry and how they're doing what they can, along with an equally sweet box of tea leaves.

[ He tried the tea. It was gross, he wants the Coerthan bitter leaves back. ]

[ordealer]

My condolences. [And yes, there's some actual sincerity to it. As a knight who had to deal with quazi-political nonsense at some point or another in his life in a medieval setting (though one influenced with some magic) he can understand how frustrating that likely was and the likely urge to take the tea leaves and chuck it at someone's head.]

I didn't bother. I thought of it as well, truth be told, and yet he seemed too useless to bother with. And I'm not in a hurry to- are they staring at us?

[His voice dipped at the last as two of the trivia goers seemed to, yes, be staring in their direction. Trivia A and Trivia B glanced away. Maybe it was a coincidence?]

[dragoonage]

'Tis likely they are.

[ His voice is tinged with more grouchiness than usual... if that were even possible. He's so tired of people excitedly looking upon him. He'd prefer it if they were angrily looking upon him, even. ]

If this were Ishgard, it'd be different. My people never celebrated small victories. [ He's picking up his glass and pointing it at Trivia B randomly. Sorry, B, he picked you to air his grievances about. He'd get onlookers as the Azure Dragoon, certainly. He'd get gasps and 'The Azure Dragoon is here, we're saved!' calls, yes. But he'd been at arms against the Dravanian horde for ten years. ] A few months here would mean very little to Ishgardians.

[ He pauses. ] Mayhap I just look strange to them, and they're fretting about it. That'd be preferable.

shoves and no this isn't what you were tempting me about but SHOVES

[ordealer]

From what I had heard they had little cause for battle up until recently, and likely the average citizen would stand confused if they were asked to unsheathe their sword. [And then if he was a cruder sort he'd continue by saying they'd misunderstand which sword and start to unzip their fly but he's not quite to that point. Caissa hasn't been that bad of an influence yet.

Yet.] It's little wonder that we're so remarkable to them. [He glanced over at B, who was very pointedly glancing away.]

LAUGHS and i understand... they're Important for some reason

[dragoonage]

[ i guess they could teach them while polearm is which— ]

Hm, I'd still prefer it to be my looks. [ That's not quite true; he supposes it's a good thing for a country to be so free of war that they see heroes in a shining light when they come. ] That only leads me to wonder what kind of wards previous heroes here may have fought. These weapons come from someone else, correct?

[ Spetsaren is really the only thing he's found intriguing here. Of course, he'd only take an interest in what he knows. ]

Weh!!! Or, given the shared FF base canon... ... ...kweh? Kweh! Whines on warkgate.

[ordealer]

[In response, he carefully took out his-...

...





...he took out his shutter shades. Yes, there was a hesitation there. There was a pause in which he asked himself if he really wanted to pull them out - would they not be happier if they pretended like those things didn't exist? No, wouldn't he, Kain, be happier if he pretended like he hadn't been issued a pair of shutter shades which are, adding insult to injury, actually rather useful?]

They've served me better than the spear I was given, as sad as it is to say.

[Which wasn't why he pulled them out, but as he set them on the counter they seemed to glow ever so slightly in the dim illumination of the bar, but maybe it was their imagination. Anyway-] I've been wondering that myself given the types of weapons myself and others have been given. They've been rather...unique.

[Unique being the polite way of saying, "What the fuck were their artificers thinking when they made half of this holy shit."]

KWEHHHHHHH 1/2

[dragoonage]

[ what are those things

except it shouldn't be possible for estinien to see out of his normal helmet anyway so maybe he shouldn't be shit talking ]

2/2

[dragoonage]

[ ...no, he's not that thoughtful. He's quirking an eyebrow at them, because despite the DRG gear that he gets (without any work?? how did he get a gae bolg?? do the relic quests, you brat...) he's... yeah, still questioning these. ]

Well, at least they're... [ He's waving a hand aimlessly as he tries to come up with a fitting word. There are none. He can't think of anything positive about them, at all. ] ...easy to wear?

[ Nailed it. ]

[ordealer]

[Did you just try to call them easy to wear? Did you try to explain this abomination? Did you? Did you?

You totally did.

Look at them glow.] They're...functional. [He's not even going to try to be polite.] And I question the smith who decided that they were an apt weapon, more so the smith who deemed them a fitting object to be functional.

[dragoonage]

[ He did. He regrets it, but this is the friendliest possible he can be, so he did it. ]

What is their purpose? [ He's going to tap at the side of one with a finger. ] Do you fling them at your nearest foe and hope they blind them with... whatever this is?

[ordealer]

[He really shouldn't. He really, really, shouldn't.]

They can make individuals dance against their will. Men, beasts... [...

Is that guy still staring at them?

...yes, yes he is.]

I could show you. [He really probably shouldn't. He really should be good and say no. He is a knight. The honor of Baron is at stake even if he's foresworn Baron. And yet that man staring at them.

And yet.

It's kind of tempting.]

[dragoonage]

[ What kind of horrifying skill is this? On one hand, it's ridiculous.

On the other hand, no man should have that power. ]

As long as I'm not the one to be dancing.

[ordealer]

I thought the man who keeps on glancing our way should be the target.

[This is a really bad idea and he knows this, but he's going to blame it on the alcohol.]

If I do we'd likely best be prepared to leave, and do so quickly. [We gonna do this bro? This is such a bad idea. And yet. And yet.]

[dragoonage]

[ And yet.

It's tempting. It'd be funny. But the knightly side of him weighs more than the bitter side. It's possible the man is just admiring them for being so heroic. It doesn't feel great, but it's not like they should make him suffer for it.

Though he'd like to. ]

I've a better idea. [ He's giving a nearby stool a sharp kick, and his sleeping dragon is suddenly toppling out of it. ] We'll give him something to stare at, instead.

[ordealer]

[He'd smile if he was inclined to. As is, he settled for being a little less grim- rueful, perhaps. Wry, amused.]

You're a better man than I. [Not as if that's hard. Either way, he put on the shutter shades- pushed them up as an afterthought, and then they started to play...

Yes, music, while the dragon started to dance.]

[dragoonage]

[ —not what he expected. Seeing the creature suddenly bounce around like it had just found an exceptionally tasty rock puts a smirk on his face. ]

That's something to debate later on. Where is that accursed music even coming from?

[ By the Fury, this is probably the most ridiculous thing he's ever seen. The glasses alone were bad enough. At one point he has to grab the dragon so that it doesn't fall off of the chair it's dancing on. ]

[ordealer]

I do not know. [It's tough to look away, isn't it.] Obviously conjured by the glasses, somehow...and it is a different song every time. I've taken to thinking of it as being summoned much like a summoner pulling an eidolon from wherever those come from.

[Fuck if he knows, in other words.] I've yet to find anything they don't work on. So long as they live, they can dance.

[dragoonage]

[ ...he's never questioned a summoner about their egis, maybe he should have. ]

Well. That seems to be an ideal distraction, I suppose. [ Though he can't say that he's jealous. He's struggling to find anything really astounding about it, even if it seems useful.

...

It pains him to even admit that to himself. ] All you need to do is play a little tune for your enemies, no stabbing required.