pawnstorm | WAR ♞ MARCH ON CENTRAL WEST PLATEAU

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WAR ♞ MARCH ON CENTRAL WEST PLATEAU

MARCH ON CENTRAL WEST PLATEAU
20 AUGUST (GLADIA) 2016

The quiet, seemingly unremarkable town of Friedgood doesn't seem like a prime target for a Noir attack. Ask any outsider what a Friedgood local's favorite activity might be, and they’ll likely respond "I don't know, digging?" They're not wrong: Friedgood's primary industry comes from the excavation of precious stones and minerals in the nearby mountain ranges and volcanoes. Those who don't make their living from mining most likely still enjoy digging, as the town is a hot destination for archeologists from the school of Pigeonsblood looking to uncover the ancient secrets of Gammon.

More important than shiny rocks, however, is Friedgood's strategic location within the country, specifically the checkpoint known as Platform 42 and 5/8ths. It forms a stark contrast to the sleepy town it resides in. This bustling travel hub is known as the "Gateway to Gammon", and boasts fast transport to almost anywhere in the kingdom. Security is tight here, with grim-faced Gammon soldiers working around the clock to ensure that criminal activity doesn't stand a chance. Keep your contraband at home — an infraction will cost you heavy jail time. Friedgood is also the only town with a road providing access to Grantebrycge, Gammon's illustrious University town.

By conquering Friedgood, Noir hopes for universal access to all of Gammon.

On the 20th of Gladia, amidst strong winds and persistent thunderstorms, Heroes will arrive to the Central West Plateau. Even surrounded by tall mountain ranges and ominous volcanoes, its ancient wall is truly a daunting sight. A marvel even by modern construction standards, it was built over 300 years ago to defend against hostile nomadic tribes, and remains as strong and sturdy as the day it was built. It also provides an important environmental buffer to the people of Friedgood — the wall is resistant to lava.

Basic info on the war can be found here. All OOC questions about the event may be directed to the thread below.

ONE ♙ The War of Three Armies
It’s time to head to the battle, Hero. You may be walking, riding a mount - your own, or a borrowed spider or boar - or hitching a ride from someone else. It’s a miserable trek to the plateau, but at least you’re not alone. Once you arrive, Verdoni is there to greet you, accompanied by another Gammonian, the commander of this battle.

Pinta
[ so god damned salty about not being a naval tactician and assigned to ships ] Ah, yes, the vaunted Heroes I’ve heard so much about. The name is Pinta, ah... naval tactician to Gammon’s armed forces. Ask why and I’ll show you a bloody hell. Anyway, welcome to the Central West Plateau! During ancient times, the volcanoes were said to be a wall of flame that protected Gammon. But if that stopped the Othellians, I suppose I wouldn’t be here, ahaha! Now, with them dormant, we must instead rely upon our steel and our wall. It’s strong enough to protect Gammon even if every volcano in the area were to erupt all at once! At least that’s what the locals say. They didn’t sound too dodgy, but... moving on!

If you have any questions, our men will be glad to explain; show you how the cannons work, where the traps are and whatnot. Again, this really isn’t my expertise—oh! Our wizards have been creative as of late. We’ve these wind platforms that will fling those Noirs up, up, up! Into the air! Try not to get caught in them, yeah?

Our navy will take care of our seas. They’re an outstanding lot, they are. All we need to do is focus! Gammon shall not sink here!

You’ll then be handed a magical bracelet. The miners use it protect them from toxic air, so this is a precaution; should you need it, it should last for the duration of the battle. Now all you have to do is wait and prepare for the battle. Acquaint yourself with the battleground: explore the Defense Wall and see what traps there are. It may give you some ideas of your own. There are also war cannons aligned on the top wall and within its interior. Otherwise, check your supplies or rest and collect yourself for what will come. Your mount may also want attention.

TWO ♙ Fellowship of the Bling
Initially cloaked by thick fumes of sulfur, ozone and the dreary overcast of the storm, the Noir battalion finally arrives. Their general, Spicy Spice, steps, nay, struts forward.

	Why is it that every time I come around, that Cochrane Bridge wants to go down? [ ADJUSTS HER WORLD CUP BRA ] They can’t keep that wall up forever.
Let’s make this a quick one, so we can get out of this smelly rain! [ gets ready to fire her gun in the air when she remembers something ] And don’t forget, target their puny pathetic healers, first. [ raises gun high above her head, signaling for the attack with a BANG! ]

On her cue, the Noir Vanguard rushes forward with a fearsome war cry, followed soon after by the Rearguard.

ENEMY ♟ Mounted Noir Soldier
Weak against None	Strong against Fire	Immune to None
These soldiers gallop onto the battlefield with their imposing GOLDHORN GOAT mounts. These are bigger and stronger than the average goat, and their golden horns tend to ABSORB SPELLS directed at their riders. Some spells in a soldier’s arsenal: GRISTRELKI sets fire to the rain — literally. It converts the rain in the sky into a barrage of fireballs. Pray your umbrella’s fireproof! With the PLAMEVODA spell, they can turn hot water (i.e. those from geysers) into bubbling hot lava. When combined with a strong cooling spell, the spell can trap you in rock… That is, if the lava doesn’t kill you first! DVIZHE SMERTI is a dangerous spell that paralyzes its target, rendering them unable to even speak or blink. This can be cured with mana exchange. Hurry before Noir strikes with a rain of fire!Of course, the soldiers are capable of HEALING SPELLS to assist their injured allies and mounts. The VANGUARD is lead by an impressive wall of massive shield units, armed with various melee weapons: swords, maces, and daunting battle axes. Herd them into the traps around the battlefield to render them immobile! The REARGUARD, armed with bows and arrows, will try to overwhelm the HEROIC VANGUARD. HEROIC DEFENSE back them up with long-ranged attacks and the cannons! If they get close enough to the wall, the Rearguard will relentlessly attack the Defense! Both units are under strict orders to prioritize an attack on the HEROIC SUPPORT. If they see any Hero or Gammonian soldiers helping each other or performing rescues on the battlefield, they will give chase IMMEDIATELY. DROPS: Shield with Noir Emblem, Flame Staff, Assorted Non-Magical Weapons, Golden Goat Horns, Lava Lamp

In the heat of battle, you will feel the ground beneath you shake and tremble. In a turn of events neither side could have predicted, a dormant volcano in the distance erupts, raining down fire and scorched earth on the area. More alarming, however, is how the resulting earthquake sets off powerful, white-hot geysers on the battlefield. Stay alert! To make matters worse, the approaching lava makes Noir’s fire spells even more deadly, and Noir shows no signs of letting up on their assault.

Spicy Spice
You think a little bad weather is going to stop us? Don't make me laugh. [ laughs anyway, then falls into a coughing fit ] Urghh, damn these fumes — Oh whatever, Send in the riders!

THREE ♙ The Desolation of Noir
Undeterred by the eruptions, the geysers, or the bad weather, they’ve called in their aerial units, fierce griffon riders who’re trying to fly over the wall and into Friedgood. Don’t let them pass! Make use of your resources and shoot them down: Heroes with long ranged weapons or magic will find their skills useful here. Learned how to fire a cannon? Now’s your chance! If not, protect your allies, Hero and Gammonian, as they line up their shots.

ENEMY ♟ Noir Griffon Rider
Weak against None	Strong against Fire, Lightning	Immune to Wind
For the first time, Heroes will witness firsthand how Noir’s legendary griffon riders—often called masters of the skies—live up to their name. A griffon’s powerful wings not only lets them soar at great heights; they can whip up terrifying BEAMS OF LIGHTNING. Griffon riders are armed with JAVELINS which they can also throw and cast the same spells as their counterparts on land. However, they share a closer bond with their griffon mounts. Upon losing their master, the griffons will go BERSERK and proceed to kill everything in sight. If a Hero gets caught in a griffon’s talons, the creature will drop them into their boiling demise at either a GEYSER or VOLCANO. DROPS: Mount Treats, Riding Gloves, Noir Lance, Harness, Griffon Feathers, Griffon Talon

The lava is fast approaching and Noir can no longer take the heat. The griffon riders are maintaining their assault, but the rest of their army is falling back to escape. Time for you to retreat too before Gammonian soldiers seal the wall and you’re trapped on the plateau side. Fried Heroes ain’t Fried Good.

Defense, continue shooting at any enemy target in range! Be attentive and aid your allies as they retreat back to the wall. Do not fear, you have the advantage.
Vanguard, fall back! Watch the skies for any griffon riders on the way to the wall. Once you arrive, take down enemies who try to breach. Letting even one enemy pass could spell disaster.
Support, grab the wounded and check the wall’s condition! Any damages should be repaired immediately to prevent the lava from entering Friedgood.

FOUR ♙ There and Back Again
The wall closes, sealing the lava and ending the battle. Hopefully no one got left behind.

Spicy Spice
Now I'm wishing that I didn't wear these shoes (I hate heels). Better get up out my face! [ trips on her way out ] Oh shit!

Catch your breath, Hero. You won. First, check up on everyone and heal your wounds. If you borrowed a mount you might want to take the time to say farewell, since the trip back to Friedgood means you’ll be parting soon.

The people of Friedgood are grateful. They know what would have happened if you lost. There’s no time for fancy parties. They’re pulling out whatever they can find for a makeshift street party right then and there.

You can find bowls of Splotched Richard - a dessert pudding - and Bangers and Mash. If you’re in the mood for something strong you can get pints of Guileless or Pale Noir, maybe a Lasker Train Bomb if you can find someone who’s willing to mix it. Or perhaps you fancy a CreamAle, the favored drink of Grantebrycge.

You’re welcome to stay out and party as long as you like - the party is for you, after all! In fact, the people will respect you more if you get drunk and pass out on the side of the street. But for Heroes who’re tired from the war, you’re always welcome to stagger into the Bollox Inn for a room, free of charge.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She rubs her cheek, a smirk of completely unwarranted confidence on her face.]

I'll keep it in mind for the next time I'm saving your ass in the middle of a burning wasteland. [COMPLETELY UNWARRANTED. They're both still in a great deal of trouble.]

So. Got any plans before they decide to pump that hellishly hot red stuff they've been turning the weird boiling-ass hellwater into down here?

[Thankfully Caren did it lightly, else Meloria would be in trouble. In any case, Caren scoffs.]

I don't think that's quite true.

[Anyway...]

That's called lava, You're going to hold onto me, and stay away from my hands. We're getting out of here.

Right, you got it boss.

[Not really sure how else to hold onto Caren, she just goes right for wrapping her arms around her waist.]

I'l hold on, so no need to worry about me.

[Boss...she likes that. Maybe she should become a boss? Soon? Yes, soon.

But in any case. Caren doesn't say anything; she gave her her only warning before the wires contained in her gloves shot out, and wrapped around goat legs and peoples torso's.

They're going to get putted up. A little with outside force, a little with retraction, it's a good combo.]

[The goats are going down the hole, and the heroes are going out of it.]

[In many ways, this is an ideal position, and with the wires being hard to see and the situation being a little chaotic, Meliora decides that the wisest course of action is to just hold tighter until she's told she needs to move.]

[That Caren is indisputably pretty hot likely had something to do with her decision, here, if we're being honest.]

[Caren is the hottest if tiniest rook there is around. She will take that title and go with it. (Sorry not sorry Vietnam).

Seeing that the goats are being dragged in and they need some air, she retracts the wires even faster. And with a word, she makes to push air underneath them so they'd fly right up, like a cork from a bottle.]

Concavo!

[...so Mel. You ever wanted to bungee jump up? Cuz that's what they're doing now. Don't worry, Caren will take the damage, she'll be just fine.]

[HOLY SHIT THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HOW PHYSICS WORK!!!!]

[She clings even tighter, gritting her teeth and screwing her eyes shut.]

[Don't let go don't let go don't let go don't let go don't let go don't let gooooooooooo--]

[Which is to say she's terrified but being forced to trust in Caren--which is not her favorite position to be in. Still, she's like. 80% sure that she won't be getting dropped.]

[The other 20% of her is what makes her tighten her grip a little more than before.]

Edited 2016-08-25 01:42 (UTC)

[Sorry Mel, did we ever say that we pay attention to physics? But as they drop towards the ground, she utters another word to cushion their fall. Another blast of air pressure, and another, until Caren can land on soild ground with her knees slightly bent and a loud thump.

For a few moments, nothing happens. Then Caren chuckles.]

It really is too bad I don't have gravity magic. The trip would have been so much easier.

[So Mel. You wanna do that again?]

[Meliora lets go once they're finally on the ground, flopping onto her back with a THUD. She'll be fine, she's been through some crazy acrobatics before, but she just. Wants a moment.]

Yes. Yes it would have. Hell of a ride, though--think we could charge people for something like that?

I'm thinking... a few hundred per ride. If you fall off, your fault, you don't get to sue us.

[Good thing Caren gored the closest enemies, or flopping onto her back would be downright dangerous. Yeah she'll let her breathe.

But she scoffs lightly.]

They wouldn't pay enough. I'm certain someone would try reaching where they shouldn't, and then I'd have to break their hands.

[She does a backwards somersault back to standing up again.]

Yeah, you're probably right. If you wouldn't have killed me for it, I might have slipped--and we both know I would never go doing such untoward things to people.

That's only because you're full of hot air.

[Ouch.]

Nice panties by the way.

It's because consent is important, but sure. [Harrumphs, as she unholsters her gun.]

Glad you liked them. Not as shameless as the fare you can pull off--but they're mine and I like 'em.

That too.

[She flicks her wrists, and pulls out the shawl she's had strapped around her waist.]

They're your panties, so can like them or dislike them if you want. Though I'll pose this question to you.

[She grins slowly.]

Who says I'm wearing any?

[WHAT.]

[She jerks her head back a little, glancing down and wishing for a moment that her magical eye was working so she could properly know whether to call this clearly absurd bluff or not.]

[But then. Is it a bluff? If anyone would...]

[Yeah. Caren is definitely at least that crazy.]

[And it seems Meliora's decided to be upset after her initial bout of scandal.]

Are you freaking daft, woman?! There is a time and a place!

[Oh Meliora, she thought she might be.]

There's always a time and place for panties.

[And just for that, she moves to make a high kick to knock one of the goats that have gotten too close.

Is Caren messing with her? Maybe. Because she's wearing booty shorts.]

[Meliora looked. She totally looked. It's incredibly apparent in her face that she looked.]

[And she is linefacing so hard right now. Darn you, Caren. Darn youuuuu.]

Gods, do you have a setting that isn't 'troll?' [Still, she's pointing her gun at the leg of another goat and firing it off. Turns out three-legged goats are not very good at standing, and that's going for a tumble.]

I'm betting 'no.'

[What a little pervert, she looked. And Caren bit back a chuckle when she saw the look on Mel's face. Go into battle without protection? After riding a boar? How silly.

Caren does another kick-a spin kick that topples the goat to the ground with a bleat.]

Of course I do. But you're a long way away from unlocking the other settings.

So what you're saying is that I need to do more grinding.

[She says as she kicks a rider in the face, stealing their flail and flinging it at a charging goat. The chain catches its legs, tangling them up as it trips. Gotta at least pretend to have her act together, otherwise she'll get made fun of.]

Why didn't you just say so~?

Something like this, yes.

[And down goes another goat. Out comes the shawl, and Caren really starts to attack in earnest, a gorey dance of things getting smashed in with her fists, feet, and cloth.]

It'll take awhile though. I wanted to leave you with some hope in your life.

[It's right about there that Meliora decides that things are a little too bloody for her to stay in close proximity--since Caren is drawing all of the attention Meliora takes it upon herself to sort of back away and snipe at targets of opportunity, aiming for the goats rather than the people upon them.]

Well, if that's how you want to do things. Better hope I don't find someone else I'd rather grind for in the meanwhile. That won't be my fault. Just sayin'.

[The ridiculousness of this conversation is helping her compartmentalize away from the part where she's somehow become engaged in a bloody skirmish, since if she acts like a cocksure badass then clearly she must actually have confidence, right? Right.]

[Yeah, that's one of the problems when Caren decides to go all out and not care about the mess-especially in close combat. She's no knight, but she does pack a nasty punch. It's actually kind of fun to listen to the bones crack.

Maybe if she hits them in a certain way, she can make a song out of it?]

No, not your fault. If you want someone easy, you'll go for someone easy. It's quite a natural thing to want.

[Well, Meliora isn't peeing herself so...points in her favor?]

[That is a lot of crushing of bones and whipping of asses--her first instinct was right: Caren is not to be fucked with.]

[She's still taking what shots are available, but a whirlwind of death she isn't... though she does have the bright idea to tilt the earth up just a little underneath one of the goats, to tip them into the horrible death radius.]

[--she'll just. Not eat for the next day or two or six. No big.]

Can't say you're wrong about that. Most of the time, the easy way to do somethin's the best way to do it too.

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