pawnstorm | [Open] The Mapo Tofu affair

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[Open] The Mapo Tofu affair

Who: Everyone! If you can smell it, you can find it!
When: 6/8-610
Where: Hall of Glory Parlour in Caissa
What: Caren found out she can make mapo tofu and is sharing with everyone. Heaven help us all.
Rating: So far none but will change when things happen.

THe Halls of Glory smell a little different today. Instead of the usual fare that the others might know from the weekly menu, there's a different scent. Something that may remind heroes of Airy, Ma Jiang dishes, or maybe, more simply, of home.

This was the result of Caren's cooking and some hunting on her part. And the results may be quite appealing. There are pots of rice, still steaming, and various bowls filled with the result known as mapo tofu. Some of them are spicer then others, and she hasn't seen fit to label which are very spicy, and which are quite mild. The only thing she has labelled, with a rim of green around the bowls, are the vegan variations, for those who can't, or do not, eat meat or meat by products.

Consider it a game of spice roulette. Because there are other bowls as well, with crushed cucumber-hot pepper salad, spicy tofu, and something that has spewed spinach and garlicy noodles within. But hey! You may be able to cool off with one of the pots of tea around the place-or with one of the rare tubs of ice cream of various flavors, kept chilled with an icy spell.

The cutlery and bowls are disposable, and there are trashbags to clean up after yourself. She's not going to do it for you!

But hey. Who can say no to free food?

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R-Really, you don't have to go to that sort of trouble.

[She's... she's picturing a princess carry or getting rolled like a log, right now.]

I can wait it out, I've got nowhere to be.

[IT IS DEFINITELY THE PRINCESS ONE...but with added gravity lightening otherwise she might accidentally shake Hakuno.

Vietnam quickly waves her hands.]

It is not a problem, we are comrades now so I cannot leave you here. I am strong! [Tiny...but strong. That counts right.] It will pass much more easily if you rest somewhere more comfortable.

[Vietnam can't be short. Hakuno is only five centimeters taller than her.]

Um, then, if it's really no trouble...

[She gingerly lowers herself to the floor, feeling a bit silly all the same.]

Thanks for your concern.

[HIGHFIVES...they'll be tiny together.

Yes good, this girl is very agreeable. She'll get better soon. After she rests and they find some stomach medication, hopefully!

As soon as she's now lying neatly on the floor, Vietnam hovers her hands over her body and mutters an incantation. Hakuno should feel something strange about her body now, like it's much more stable. Vietnam effectively transformed gravity within her. And then she proceeds to slide her arms under her back and legs to scoop her up and stand upright, ready to take her to the nearest sofa.]

Do not worry about it. I have heard stories about this version of everyone's favourite Sichuan dish.

Oh!

[Well! This is... new.

Hakuno braces a hand on the other woman's shoulder, not entirely used to this courteous form of being carried.]

Um, actually, the food was great. I just didn't know when to quit.

[She stops for a moment just for Hakuno to get comfortable--] I apologise for my forwardness! [Because not everyone likes getting carried, but here they go! And onwards towards a nice plush lounge.

But--] Oh? So you were able to handle the heat of the spices? That is rather impressive. Aha, getting sick over eating too much is an unfortunate effect, but at least you know it was because of luxury.

No, not at all. Thanks for the help. I was pretty much stranded.

[Hakuno settles into a semi-comfortable position, rubbing her cheek awkwardly.]

Well, I've eaten... some very disagreeable things before. With that as a comparison, there probably isn't anything I couldn't bear. It's been a while since I had the chance to eat mapo tofu, though, so I'm glad I came regardless of the consequences.

[She shakes her head.] You're welcome! It's the least I can do.

[And now they're away from the mess and closer to the nice chairs by the fireplace. Vietnam selects a free one--] Carefully... [And then lays Hakuno down. She grabs some cushions to place them under Hakuno's head.]

Ah, I see. It reminds me of home, actually. We have one colleague he cannot cook, but believes he can. His food could probably be a weapon. [And they're often censored out...] Well, despite circumstances, I am glad you were able to eat mapo tofu today! I suppose dying over Sichuan cooking is part of the fun.

[Hakuno's beginning to feel a bit spoiled. Nobody but Sakura has ever really fussed about her like this, and that was part of her basic coding, so. Way to go, Vietnam.]

Really, thanks for all of this. I've weathered a three course meal from a cook like that, so you have my sympathy. And as for dying... well, I'm not in that sorry of a state yet, at least.

[Yes good, just as planned. All patients need to feel comfortable, and Vietnam can't help it!! She's just pleased Hakuno is feeling better, at least in spirit. Body may take a while.]

It's fine. Aha, so you had to endure bad cooking once. One day I will cook for you. I am rather good at it, being taught by my guardians, who are some of the best chefs in the world! [She manages a smile.] I am sure, and we will not let you die just yet. Which...[She taps her chin.] Would you like some tea? It could help settle your stomach down.

I'll look forward to that then, thank you.

[Hakuno is actually a bit moved by how generous this person is. Carrying her, offering to feed her, looking after her like this...

She really likes this new world.]

That... tea might be good, but it might take me a while before I could swallow it.

You're welcome...although you should thank me then. I haven't made you anything yet.

[If only Vietnam knew of what CRAP Hakuno went through as well, but Hakuno is so polite despite her illness that Vietnam only feels the urge to pamper her more, really.]

I will wait a moment to prepare you tea then. [She properly crouches down so that Hakuno doesn't have to project her voice too much to talk. Now she can ask a question she should've done so before, but it wasn't a good time.] What is your name? I am Vietnam.

Well, anticipation is its own type of seasoning, right?

[Hakuno shifts up so she can lean herself forward in a pathetic approximation of a bow.]

Pleased to meet you. I'm Hakuno Kishinami.

[If you thought she was going to ask about the whole 'sharing a name with a country,' you thought wrong. She's heard weirder names.]

Oh! That is a good way of thinking about it! [Waiting for something does make it taste a whole lot nicer too. Especially in this case, since Vietnam would want her to be completely well first.

She was near frantic when Hakuno tries to bow, wanting her to lay back and rest! No need for manners right now. And if she's used to weird names, all is well! She's a weird entity herself anyway, just not a historical figure, she's history herself!]

It is nice to meet you too, Hakuno Kishinami. Now, you can lay back down. [She's moved, though.] You only just arrived, no?

[Hakuno is still suffering a bit, so she settles back quickly enough.]

Yes. I'm... still getting my bearings, in all sorts of ways. On the subject of cooking, though, once I've gotten more comfortable with my weapon and have free time, I might try to learn myself. Maybe someday I can make you a meal as thanks for all of this as well.

[Good good...oh look a spare blanket on the side. Vietnam quickly picks that up to cover up Hakuno, just in case.]

Was your world any different to this place? And oh! [Look at her brightening up with interest.] I can help. Cooking together is also fun. To learn how to cook, I had to be guided myself. [She then laughs softly.] I will look forward to any meal made by you.

[Wow, is she... is this the fabled 'getting tucked in'?!]

Yeah, it was. I don't know if the 2030's or the words 'virtual reality' mean anything to you, but... Yeah. Yeah, it's different here. A good different, though.

[She smiles up at Vietnam, a touch of bashfulness stealing over her cheeks.]

Well, I'll definitely work hard to learn once I find a teacher, then.

[It certainly is--HAKUNO WHAT KIND OF LIFE HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING.]

2030's...is much further along history than where I am from. 2016, but I know of virtual reality. Though I understand you being in my future, I do not understand why virtual reality? [When this world is better than your original, though--] But I am glad that despite circumstances, there is something for you to like here.

[She looks much happier, even while ill. Vietnam resolves to make things a heck of a lot more awesome.]

I can help teach too! And there are a few here who are good at cooking, should you find them, like Adrasteius. Caren too, from what we have just witnessed. [Hakuno inhaling EVERYTHING.]

Okay, so, in our early 2000s, there was a cataclysmic series of events that changed a lot of things. Magic and technology are... technically... the same things. [Shit, Rani and Rin could explain this so much better.] Also our moon is actually a giant primordial supercomputer that has been recording the universe for—[Hold on, she knows this one.]—four and a... half billion years?

The virtual reality I was talking about is souls being pulled into that computer—the Moon Cell—and basically, uh, l-living in an illusionary world inside of it, based on what the Moon Cell has recorded about humanity and those souls in particular.

[She coughs.]

Oh, I met Adrasteius a little while ago, too. He's going to teach me more about healing. I owe him some thanks too, so maybe I'll ask for cooking lessons as well as magic ones and surprise him!

[In the words of the world's modern youth: WHAT THE FUCK.]

That...[Okay give a moment to process here.] So, magic and technology are the same...so computers could also cast and direct spells? [Would smartphones be able to do this too?!] And the moon has been a supercomputer all along? Well that would explain how magic and technology became one and the same so quickly... [And to think outside of work, the last thing she worried about before arriving here was which TV series she should watch.]

Why would Moon Cell drag people in? Does it do anything?

[Actually maybe she shouldn't be asking these kinds of questions while Hakuno is kind of sick.] Mine doesn't really have magic at all, or at least not that I know of.

[But look at that...] Healing too? Haha, definitely ask him to teach you how to cook too. He won't be able to resist. [She looks around shiftily.] Adrasteius is very stubborn, but as long as you push the right buttons, he'll do anything for you. Very nice. Don't tell him I said that.

[Truer words have never been spoken.]

Well, a magic supercomputer, yes. And, um spells are digitally carried out—uh, they're called 'Code Casts' usually—so... yes.

[Ah, the 'why'. Hakuno grimaces.]

Um, one of the other names for the Moon Cell is... the 'Holy Grail'. It's such a powerful artifact that it can grant any wish, so there was a competition of sorts... It didn't have to drag people in. They entered willingly, more or less.

[Or they were ignorantly born of it right in the middle of all of that hullabaloo, ahem hem.]

I will, if you think he won't mind. He does seem very kind, from what I've seen.

[Blessed are the youth of today.]

Code casts...it sounds complicated, but that is because I am not used to this. Perhaps it is similar to...a video game?

[Suddenly her eyes narrow fiercely. She tries to lessen it, but her complete disgust of the "Holy Grail" shows. She's already sworn to protect Gilgamesh from his situation with a "Holy Grail", but she's unsure if this one is the same.] Why is it that whenever I hear about the "Holy Grail" it is not the fabled blessed cup, but something unpleasant. From a cataclysm to this...and you, you're in the middle of this?

[She softens up, just a little.] He is. I am sure he has a tendency to adopt people to form a small family. But really he's just looking out for all of us.

Edited 2016-06-11 02:26 (UTC)

Yes. More or less. Its not something you'll ever have to worry about, thank God.

[Ah, it seems the Grail's reputation precedes it. Awesome. No, really; the less Hakuno has to explain why its terrible, the better.]

Probably because that sort of power will always have unpleasant implications. And yes. I was created by the Moon Cell, and I ended up winning it, after... various things happened.

[Like getting kidnapped mid-war by a yandere rogue AI, nearly being deleted at least four(?) times, dealing with Gilgamesh every step of the way, dealing with Kiara, doing the war over again and knowing deletion awaited at the end, after making her wish.]

A family, huh... Sounds nice.

[She doesn't have to worry about it, but--] It sounds like something I still have to deal with, I take no chances. [If this is going to affect a world, well who knows if she's in it. Or another version of her. Her existence is also to protect her home.]

Did you make a wish? Once you won that grail. [That's the point of the game, no? A sick game, but still.] Did you have...he said...a Servant.

[................Dear Blanc, please transfer Hakuno to the grand old Slice of Life world of Hetalia, thank you.]

Since you were created by this Moon Cell...I...I suppose you had no family.

The epidemics started around the year 2000, so I think your world is safe. Unless you just have a different version of the Holy Grail.

[Then you might still be fucked, yeah.]

I did. To both questions. I'm guessing you also know Gilgamesh? Well... the version that's here isn't the same one that contract with me, but they seem to be more or less the same type.

[She rubs at the back of her neck. Family... the closest thing she has to a relative is Twice H. Pieceman, and like hell she's claiming any kinship with him.]

I don't, no. For a while, I didn't actually know that I wasn't a normal human; I was an NPC based on a human girl who lost her memories due to a disease, which is how I wound up stumbling into the fight at all. I suppose, you could call that person a relative? She's been cryogenically frozen for twenty or thirty years, though, so that might not count after all.

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