[OPEN] everybody's working for the weekend

[burnmydread]

Who: Minato Arisato & YOU!
When: Throughout June
Where: Caissa & Lasker
What: Job quest post for the month of March
Rating: None? (Will update if needed)

[ Reference for the Job Post is here. Also, if you're interested and haven't already, you can pick your character's arcana for Social Linking! ]

001-A. Water Wars of the Worlds?

[ Who doesn't love water fights? And who doesn't love it when someone provides you with an absolutely ridiculous gun? No one. Everyone loves this. The more spouts the more power, right?

For all the festivities, there is one figure in the crowd who seems to be a little more subdued than most. Dressed in shorts and a simple shirt, Minato stands armed with his gun. Why isn't he doing anything? Everyone around him is going crazy, getting soaked...

No, he's waiting for the right victim.

And it happens to be you.

Without warning, he unleashes his Blanc Special Super Soaker at your character. When the assault is done, he simply says. ]

Gotcha.

001-B. No Drowned Cats Allowed

[ The unfortunate part of participating in the water battle means that there are definitely vendors and restaurants that don't want people running around dripping all over their nice floors. He didn't think about this beforehand.

Minato is standing in front of a cafe, face nearly pressed to the window as he looks in. There's food in there, he can see it. It's so close...He sighs. ]

...This is how it ends.

[ A little ominous, maybe? Calm down, drama queen. But you know what would help? A good samaritan to step in and feed him. Those are the best people.

Or laugh at his pain. That works too. ]

002-A. "Meow" Or Something Like That

[ This was bound to happen eventually. Right? It's good he didn't have much dignity to begin with, because when the soulless eyes stare back at him, Minato see his fate. Of all that the Heroes have been asked to do for the sake of Blanc, is this really where it ends? Is this the true test of strength?

Yes. Yes it is. It's a good thing he's way before Five Nights at Freddie's.

It isn't long before the suit is now staring outward at the public with Minato behind it. It's a little big, but it's head is supposed to be big. Minato just isn't sure if he'll be able to actually keep it on his head. The fact that it's hot doesn't help him much either. In fact, he looks more like a penguin taking it's first steps on the ice of the antarctic with the way he's waddling away from the dressing rooms. Oh boy.

At least he seems to be putting forth some sort of effort. Surprising, right? Minato will be seen waving near the entrance for a while, but it's not long before he starts to wander off on his own.

It's uncertain whether he's trying to get a free snack or encourage new customers to this particular food stand, but it seems to be working either way.

He can also be seen napping beside some railing. Or, at least that's what it seems like, it's hard to tell when it's a large mascot suit just kind of lying there. Hopefully he hasn't passed out from heat stroke, right? ]

002-B. Let's Play Off-Duty

[ That sure was a thing! A thing that's over and DONE with! Maybe it was just the fact that the mascot costume is ridiculously cute despite whatever Minato has been doing in it, but he's done well enough to earn that coupon. Whoohoo!

So, when you've got money coupons burning a hole in your pocket, it's best to spend it, right? Of course, a view of the park through the semi-transparent mesh of mascot eyes don't really give the best view of what's going on. Minato stands by the entrance with the coupon in his hands, looking a little lost. ]

...

[ Is he sad? Or--no...he's...almost overwhelmed, but not upset. ]

I don't even know where to start.

Comments

[topkong]

'Hey' is for horses!

[ No, Wukong is really serious about this! Minato's intentions have clearly been clouded by being in a costume, but Wukong knows that it's not okay to ruin the environment with papers about a cafe! What's so important about cafes anyway, gosh?

It's probably pretty easy to keep the stubby cat arms away from his strong grip on the papers, so he'll gladly accept the challenge of fending off some nerd in a cat suit. Keeping his hand over the can, which is presumably filled with a lot of gross things that would ruin the flyers... ]

Give me one good reason I shouldn't do this.

[ Wu has no reason to ruin a cat's day, but he has no idea who is in there in the first place.

Also, this is terribly amusing to him. ]

[burnmydread]

[ THIS IS THE WORST.

Who does this monkey think he is? Clearly he doesn't understand what's on the line, here. Which, for Minato, is most definitely a free meal. And what's more important than a free meal? Few things, few things.

Minato waves his fluffy cat arms around as he tries to catch up. ]

...I won't take you down if you give them back.

[ Is that a good enough reason? ]

[topkong]

[ Didn't you hear, Minato? He's the best!... well, on his way to being it, anyway.

Fluffy cat arms don't intimidate him. Neither does the threat! Who does this cat think he is? That gets Wukong's eyebrow to raise as he adjusts the collar of his uniform give the mascot'd Minato a snort. ]

Ooh. Kitty's got claws! Yours are probably stuffed though, right?

[ And he slowly lowers the papers into the can... SLOWLY... VERY SLOWLY... insert dramatic music here. ]

[burnmydread]

[ BRO. Bro...even you're expertly timed voice clips won't fix this.

Unfortunately, he's right, what claws the costume does have are definitely stuffed so he doesn't, you know, hurt someone with them. Totally ineffective. So, there's really only one thing he can do...

..and that's wildly fling his body at the offender in an expertly airborne sumo wrestling move and hope for the best.

Which he does. ]

[topkong]

[ There are a handful of scenarios that Wukong could have envisioned and prepared for, but nothing came even close as a mascot freaking jumps him with a weird maneuver he's NEVER SEEN BEFORE?!

So, obviously, he hits the ground with Minato on top of him. The flyers go into the air, scattering into the wind and thus doing someone's job for him! Obviously they will land in the hands of many potential customers and not become the litter Wukong feared.

Still. ]

WHY ARE YOU SO HEAVY?!

[burnmydread]

[ SUPER SUMO NEKO SQUATSUME! That's what we're calling it.

And it's highly effective, apparently! Flyers are into the winds, spreading across a much wider area than Minato could have feasibly delivered by hand. It looks like it works out the best for everyone!

Well, except Wukong. Sorry, buddy. (He's not sorry.) ]

I'm well-fed.

[ How can he be deadpan in a giant cat suit? ]

[topkong]

[ Freaking. Incredible. Wow.

Wukong struggles to get out from under the mas-cat, trying to grab onto ANYTHING and pull but it's... a real disaster. A real catastrophe, in other words. Not that he's struggling to breathe or anything life-threatening but how embarrassing is it that a monkey is being beaten by a cat?

Feels bad, man. ]

Fed what? Bricks? Look, let me go... I promise I'll behave...

[ Until next time. ]

[burnmydread]

[ Minato has successfully established himself as top of the food chain. This is a victory for house cats everywhere. There will be a party later. Maybe it will be catered by the stand that all those flyers were for!

Minato doesn't move. Not at all. He's in this to win this. ]

Why should I believe you?

[ Beg a little, c'mon. ]

[topkong]

Do I look like someone who would like to protect their own skin?!

[ He's not going to wait for an answer that is MORE THAN LIKELY a 'no'. His thoughts are racing, are there ways to get this guy off of him outside of trying to throw him somewhere? What would the kids think if they saw the ferocious monkey start clubbing the costumed hero for no reason??? ]

If you get off, I'll... uh... buy you a sandwich or something! Ice cream sundae with banana? Uh, I don't know...

[ He'll gladly pay for his pride, which is out the window after this excruciating event. ]

[burnmydread]

[ Protect his own fur, maybe...but let's be real, Minato isn't a speciesist. One of his teammates is a dog, after all.

That's a good answer, though. Food is where is mind usually ends up and he needs a constant supply. And by needs we mean wants, especially when it's free. There's a long pause as Minato considers the offer... ]

...Both.

[ He will take both. ]

[topkong]

Great! Awesome! Fantastic! Now, for the love of everything good and pure in this world, please get off of me!!!

[ It's not like his voice has been slowly getting higher and higher and more irritated by the moment, nope! He's practically at his wits end, being someone who liked moving about and being stuck for so long. Even on stormy days, Wu could at least go somewhere to work out or dance in the rain or do something.

May it never rain Minatos. ]

[burnmydread]

[ Minato takes a painfully long time to consider this.

Just because he can.

Yep, he's...thinking...

Alright he'll give. After that ridiculous moment, Minato rolls to the side. Literally rolls, like a katamari, since his mascot suit is rather round. ]

[topkong]

[ Free at last, free at last... ]

Finally. Ugh. Do I look flatter than I did before?

[ He'll have to check later. Either way, being stuck underneath Minato for what seemed like forever has him antsy. ]

Okay. I'll make sure you get your food at some point. Eventually. One day, in the future. I'm good for it.

[ He coughs, looking around. ]

Promise you won't tell anyone about this?

[burnmydread]

[ For what it's worth, Minato may have a little trouble rolling himself back up into a sitting position. It takes a few tries. These suits aren't easy to maneuver in.

That sounds like you're planning on backing out of the deal, though, buddy. We can't have that. ]

I'll tell everyone if you don't keep your promise.

[topkong]

[ His eyes shoot wide open as he rapidly shakes his head from side-to-side. Clearly, he's either really good at playing scared or is legit afraid of losing whatever credibility he had gained so far. ]

A monkey always keeps his promise! Haven't you heard that saying from where you're from?!

[ ... that's... not a thing... ]

Look, I got you covered. I swear on my old master, who's probably too busy brewing a pot of tea to notice his laundry his blowing away at this very moment.

[burnmydread]

[ No. No he hasn't, although, to be fair, he hasn't met many monkeys in his time on the planet. At least none that he can actually hold a conversation with. ]

...Okay.

[ But. ]

What's your name?

[ So he can track you down later. ]

[topkong]

[ He freezes. What kind of false name can he give to Minato to avoid social and possibly physical (albeit temporary) death? He has to be quick, smart, crafty, all of the things that make Wukong the true monkey king. ]

It's Wukong.

[ Insert internal 'pbbbt' sound here. ]

And what's yours? That way, I can write it down somewhere that I owe a cat a favor.

[burnmydread]

[ Crafty indeed. Minato will commit that name to memory. He'll have to find out later if this monkey goes by it on the network too, but he figures that asking around wouldn't be too difficult. He kind of stands out. ]

Minato Arisato.

[ Full name, because this is serious business. ]

Or Melon Bread.

[topkong]

[ At least his name shouldn't be too hard to remember. After all, it's really just one word, two syllables, and he's the only monkey here.

However, he's not the loneliest monkey. He does have someone. ]

Minato Bread? Melon Arisato?

[ Honestly, Melon Arisato sounds like a drink and Minato Bread sounds like a bread made of people. The first one is clearly the tastier of the two. ]

I guess that's a name I won't forget anytime soon. You... uh... probably aren't actually going to wear that all the time, though.

[ Unless Minato really loves cats that much? ]

[burnmydread]

[ The Loneliest Monkey sounds like a depressing children's book. At least he could say he's met a cat.

As for the question about his costume... ]

I might. [ He's not going to. He raises his arms. ] I'm adorable.

[topkong]

[ Imagine Wukong's future surprise when he runs into some random guy who asks for food... and has no clue? This is Wukong's life now, wondering if the next person he meets has been a cat on the outside during their life. ]

Says you. I like the cats that are actually... you know, cats.

[ Cats don't tire him like humans do. Actually, most animals don't make him wish for his bed. ]

It can't possibly stay cool in there. What're you going to do if it gets hotter? Humid? What if you fall in lava?

[burnmydread]

[ That is exactly what's going to happen. Don't disappoint him, Wukong. Don't disappoint him.

He brings up some good points, except... ]

...There's no lava around here.

[topkong]

Oh? Well... I guess you're right. Hey. Let me check to see if there's any nearby, just to make sure you stay safe and not-on-fire.

[ And Wukong BOLTS. There's no way he's going to let Minato get the jump on him, but he's definitely going to repay him in the future. His master taught him better than to be a liar and a trickster.

So surely, looking for lava is CLEARLY THE HONORABLE THING HERE! What a great monkey. ]