pawnstorm | [ semi-open ] and sometimes we sing to the dawn

Entry tags:

[ semi-open ] and sometimes we sing to the dawn

Who: Lord Light, a couple of people (closed threads in toplevels within), and you.
When: April 12-15, thereabouts
Where: Around Capablanca
What: A useless old man ponders the meaning of his existence. And also builds some things on the side.
Rating: PG+ for Adra's mouth

one;

[ Contrary to first impressions, there is indeed peace and quiet to be found in Capablanca. As one walks along the beaches further and away from the town center, the number of establishments dwindle one by one - until the last ice-cream parlour marks the end of built shoreline. The stretch of untouched sand may be quite small compared to the rest of the beach, but it's still sizeable. Sizeable enough to provide a place of relative silence for Heroes to meditate properly.

It is here, upon the sand, that he draws. Detailed, complex images are sketched into the beachside, a little away from the shoreline so that they would be untouched at low tide. It takes him hours to complete a single drawing, but he doesn't complain a single bit - merely one figure with white hair bent down close to the ground with a single branch in his hand.

At night, high tide washes them away, but he returns for at least an hour every day to add one or two. At other times he builds perfectly regular rings out of shells and other materials lying around, all without a single word. A few locals come to watch, but even then their curiosity wears out as he continues, focused on his task.

If anything, the art is pretty. But what could they mean? ]

two;

[ On an afternoon when the sun is not as harsh, he climbs Ventoso Hill alone. Once he's reached the top, he elects to stand and watch the scenery - he's so still that he might have been mistaken for a statue, if not for the fact that his hair moves and flutters in an opportune breeze.

After a while, he shifts his stance to one more regal, and he begins to sing with a voice much younger than his speaking intonation. When he finishes, there's the slightest hint of a smile on his expression - but it will fade away as soon as he is approached, returning to his normal calmness.

His voice resumes its usual pitch, too. ]

Can I help you with anything?

three;

[ In the mornings, he can be found near the piers - or more specifically, where the seabirds frequent. He might be seated on the jetty or walking along the beach with a small bag of breadcrumbs, and after a while seagulls will start to flock to his location. He feeds them with a rather distant expression (more distant than usual, that is), letting them land on his shoulders and arms.

However, if you express interest in what he's doing, he'll look up with a much more focused countenance. ]

Hello. Would you like to feed them as well?

wildcard;

[ hit me with anything and I'll roll with it! or if you'd like a specific starter, feel free to pm me or contact me at eonflamewing, we'll work something out! ]

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[ The moment for pursuing that line of conversation has passed, so he goes along with her next question. ]

I visited the beach to draw. Now, I am resting. [ Pause. ] I had left Caissa late, so I am here to rejoin the Hero group here.

[ That's not really answering her question, though. ]

I drew them. If you wish, I can do more. [ But straight to the point now. ] I have. A conclusion.

[ And then, a slightly longer pause, while he gets his thoughts together one more time. ]

You are correct. I have lost something, I am incomplete. My Sight is clouded, and for that I have made a mistake and paid the price. I will have to 'get used' to this, to put it in the common way.

[ It seems the hardest part of his godly status to throw away, really - his desire to protect others, and his knowledge of his own immortality. Back home, he could see all possible paths of how an event would unfold. Here, he couldn't even predict simple things.

But then again, his entire world is gone. His past is gone, too. And he doesn't know if he should keep holding the same standards to himself. ]

[ How. How can he -- ]

It is of use. It's the very idea that your body may now be held together by this world's mana. The idea that your physical form and everything is actually mana. Mana reforming to be like how you are in your own world, Lord Light!

[ Thunderland feels like going back to pacing. His arms are out and making wild gestures but he is not actually saying anything. How is it that he could possibly -- ] If it turns out that you are actually mana, that would mean to halt your death would require mana exchange, right? That's the theory that I am having.

That'd have nothing to do with medicine, but the usual transference of mana from one to another in order to heal your wounds. Not through magic of healing, but through just energy. [ He runs his hands through his hair, messing it up more. Walking in half circles, he wonders about it but if he's wrong, he's risking someone's life. ]

The idea of it is that can be transferred to others that are like you. Beings that are non-human that respond the same way to you.

[ It's all very good exposition and theorizing - something that he can join in on, but unfortunately he only has contrary evidence to provide at this point. For the most part, he turns to follow Thunderland as he walks, as to be polite. ]

There is no one else like me in this world, this universe. I am one and unique. Thus, I am afraid your studies on me may not be useful for others. [ He's trying to not say that he's a god, but he supposes it has to come out immediately. ] If you have studies you intend to conduct on me, you could inform me of what you wish to elucidate and I do the procedure myself.

[ That is to say, he knows himself best. He knows every minute working of his vessel, at least in the configuration it was when he was in his homeworld. ]

Then, at the very least, it will be useful to you.

[ He points as dramatically as he can to the man's face. ] If one person benefits from what is learned, what has been learned is not a waste! [ Such is his motto. ] The study would be if exchanging mana could heal wounds. I suppose the idea would be to start with something small and see at what point that medicine would be required.

[ A wave of his hand. ] As I told you, I am a doctor. I would never let a magnificent creature like yourself die. [ Especially since the body would not be of use to him anymore. ]

[ Adrasteius comes riding up on his grassrunner--a sleek, pure white bird with a slender neck and a sharply curved beak, looking like something between an ostrich and a (very fancy) chicken.

The bird is happy to see LL, and chirps at him pleasantly, but Adra covers her face with one hand and gently nudges her aside. ]

No, no. He doesn't deserve a friendly greeting.

[ He glowers up at LL, his own expression contorted with an aggravation that borders outright rage. ]

Hey! Good to see you back among the goddamned living! How do you feel, buddy? You feel better? You're all healed up, after scaring me--and I'm sure plenty of others--half to damn death?

[ He jabs a finger at LL as he advances, his already booming voice just getting louder and louder. ]

I told you to take care of yourself, didn't I? I told you! Did that not get through to you at all, huh? Was I in one ear and out the other, you stubborn old fool? Well?

[ In contrast to Adra's evident rage, Lord Light remains an expression of placidity. He shows no sign of change in his expression, body absolutely still while the other approaches and nearly screams his anger out - grey eyes unblinking, watching with what upon closer examination reveals itself to be a good amount of remorse. It's made all the more remarkable by how little he usually emotes.

He will not reply until Adra has finished talking, letting his expression answer for him right now. But once the elf is done, he will speak. ]

I know. I made mistakes.

Mistakes!

[ He gestures angrily, with both of his hands, not placated in the slightest. He's had a godawful time in Capablanca, and even before that, he remembers quite acutely the sight of LL, prone inside his crystal. He remembers Bolin, too, silent as the grave for a whole month. He remembers the fear and the worry, and he remembers that, in LL's case, it could have been prevented.

He doesn't miss the remorse on LL's face. It's something, yes, a reaction, a suggestion of feeling--but it's not nearly enough. Not enough to speak to Adra's own feelings, which have been boiling and churning for nearly a month now. ]

That's a gentle fucking term, LL. You made no mistake. You just thought you were above the situation. You thought you had the right of things, when you clearly didn't.

[ He's bristling; his fel green eyes blazing, sparking. He hisses. ]

You were selfish.

[ For the most part, he doesn't fight back. Not with most of the accusations, because they weren't even accusations. They were the truth, and they described most of what he had realized happened. Mishaps in calculations, clouded sight - all these things that could have been prevented in hindsight. Hindsight that he could have turned into foresight, if not for the fact that he was now blind to the golden threads of causality which were at his fingertips before.

He's learned more and more about himself as time passes. Most of them were of things he had lost. ]

Was I anything else?

[ It's not a challenge, not with the quiet tone that he uses. It's an invitation for more answers. ]

Arrogant. Short-sighted. Stubborn.

[ He recalls the answering message on the crystal, and his scowl deepens. ]

Cavalier.

[ He motions for Adra to continue, still not replying. While the other's first words were accurate, the latter ones were not. It's better reason to listen to another's full thoughts before judging or answering, however - especially since he can no longer scry anything.

It's this lack of predictability that makes things wrong. ]

[ Adra doesn't like this lack of response--it's not only making him angrier, it's also upsetting. He's here because he's upset, because he cared for LL and to see him suffer--suffer needlessly, especially--hurts. Because he's hurt so much in the past few weeks, and thinking of LL, lying wounded and inert, has been just another handful of salt in his wounds.

He trembles. ]

I don't know what your life was like in your own world. Gods tend to be lonely. Distant. Maybe you didn't have too many personal friendships.

[ His hands ball into fists. ]

But you're not there anymore. You're not a god anymore. You're a man, and I--people--care about you. You can't just walk around like you're removed from us! Like you can carry on as before. You can't, LL. You cannot.

[ It's only when Adra finishes his last statement that he stirs - it's a slight gesture, but he stands up a little firmer, because he understands. Not only does he finally understand fully where the elf was coming from, but it also changed a small facet of his perspective. It's a different sort of caring that the people of Krythe did for their Lord Father. It feels more personal, somehow - maybe he was just being unused to it, but it's not something he thinks he deserves.

After all, he had been immaterial for a long, long time. But things change. ]

You are right.

[ He finally speaks again, grey eyes meeting the other's with a more certain gaze. ]

Thank you for phrasing my mistakes into words, I appreciate it. Now, I can learn from it better.

[ There is a slight pause here, because he knows Adra won't be satisfied with this answer. He's willing to elaborate, not only to explain himself, but also because he trusts the elf. ]

What you said was correct. I was too impersonal. For a very long time, I did not see mortals as how they saw themselves. I could not speak to them, like how you are speaking to me now - on a personal level. And I failed to consider that, here. Circumstances changed, and I failed to divine the true implications that it would bring.

[ For now, he looks... unsure. There's a flicker of something else in his perfectly symmetrical face, but it's gone as soon as it appears. ]

I am blinded. Like how living beings have a sense taken away, except they do not realize it until much later. I used to be able to see so many things, the lines of causality all interconnected. But now, nothing. I had 'taken them for granted', so to speak. This I realize now.

I will take responsibility for my actions.

[ The main reason why Lord Light takes Thunderland's gestures and expressiveness in stride is because he follows one of the principles that the former deity used to embody. Hard work, the pursuit of knowledge and betterment of the world with it - it's rare to find someone so devoted to the same cause.

So he nods. ]

I see. We could test this at the next battle, if it is amenable to you. Do you have any concrete ideas as of yet?

[ Lord Light drew them? That intrigues him even more and he has questions but they'll have to wait until they finish this conversation.

He listens to the explanation, and although short and to the point, Tieria is able to pick out some important points from it. ]

You're not the only one who has somethings taken from you, either by the work of Ensprise's nature or someone else we're unaware of for now.

[ Tieria hasn't been able to utilize his quantum brainwaves even if his mana has readjusted to Ensprise's. ]

If you don't mind me asking, what exactly are you? No normal person would calmly organize their matters well over a week before deciding that they need to heal from internal injuries and missing organs. You're not human, that's why you have such a low priority in ensuring your own safety.

[ Neither is he but he's not the point here. ]

That would be fine.

[ How to transfer mana. Hm. ] The means of transferring mana is the same as transferring heart in my mind. But I have no means to make a bullet. [ He cups his chin. ]

How do you usually restore your mana with someone else's assistance?

I see...

[ It was hard to hide her curiosity, brows furrowed as it unloaded his statement. He didn't look much older than her brother, but to speak in such a way...

Filing that away for later--she likely misheard in anyhow--the young blond smiled once again. ]

Why not keep a sketchbook, then?

[ She didn't mishear, but his inhuman nature is something she's bound to find out sooner or later given how little effort he puts into concealing it. ]

It may not be large enough to contain these in their entirety. However, you have a good suggestion. I will look into it.

[ He offers her a more noticeable smile, but it is still a very small smile. ]

[ A mana bullet, then - but what Thunderland just said spawns not one but two resulting questions. ]

Heroes here restore mana by physical contact. Usually, for formality, it involves holding hands. But hugs may be custom for those who are much closer.

[ Now, for what he's just picked up. ]

What is this 'heart' you speak of? It is not the organ, yes?

[ If he was anyone else, he might have found the confirmation comforting - but it isn't. If this were really true, then a large portion of the Heroes would have been crippled. Some were dealing with it better than the others, but this was potential lost - and this potential should be regained.

He doesn't have too long to think about that, though - Tieria asks a question, and it is a very pertinent question. How best to answer it? ]

I am Lord Light.

[ This is said not in the common language of Enprise, but in his own tongue. Then, he switches back. ]

I am divinity. A deity of Orbis Eden, guardian of Krythe. I apologize for keeping this from you - this fact caused complication that will be difficult to resolve, more than anything else. I no longer have access to the majority of my presence, but I have retained my resurrection abilities. Thus the time delay.

[ It's not really his own resurrection abilities, but his body is still much more durable than that of most. ]

Edited 2016-04-22 06:46 (UTC)

Ah, you're a Hero, too! [ Urk! Then that means.... Slaine immediately stops feeding the birds at the realization. If this person is a Hero, they definitely had access to that video. ]

Ah... [ He grows quiet for a moment before he goes back to the task of tossing breadcrumbs at the the birds. Then after an awkward silence: ] You must have seen that video then... I didn't want to bring it up, but you're speaking with me normally, so I thought you were just a civilian or perhaps unaware. E-either way...! [ He felt like he must quickly add: ] I'm really grateful that you're willing to speak with me regardless of that.

[ Lord Light merely tilts his head. ]

It is no matter. I do not blame you, it was an accidental mistake. You have little fault in this, your intentions were good.

[ He's not human, that's why he's able to take it so calmly. ]

I saw little reason to reply to it, so I did not respond.

O-oh...! [ This is actually the first time he's heard somebody say that. In fact, he's rendered speechless and completely forgot what he was doing. The seagulls became impatient with him and begin to peck at him. ]

O-ow! Hey!!

[ This manages to awkwardly break the silence. Slaine desperately starts tossing more breadcrumbs at them, hoping that this would be enough satisfy their needs. They finally leave him alone once the bag has been completely emptied. The feeding is over; the birds will go back to minding their own business now. Meanwhile, Slaine can properly gather his thoughts. ]

Thank you for those words, they honestly mean a lot to me.

...Draw?

[ That's surprising to her. Given that it feels like he knows so much, she imagines he must be studying all the time or something! Even she hasn't had enough time to sit and enjoy music as much as she usually does. ]

They really like shipping us around don't they? It's hard getting used to just one place before we have to move again.

[ The words are so foreign to his ears but Tieria figures it must mean a lot to Lord Light if the deity wants him to hear it.

But honestly, a deity? Isn't that similar to being a god? Is there really one? He's not sure and has never really care to find out but he knows someone whose life has been deeply affected by the existence of an almighty being. How would Setsuna feels if he knows there are deity among them? Would he be able to find answers he has been looking for through them?

Tieria doesn't know and this isn't the time to ponder on such possibilities. ]

You don't need to apologize to me. [ Tieria isn't expecting this so he's also a little perplexed with what to say... ] It must be difficult for you to adjust to the lost of your abilities. Just be careful with your health and treat your injuries as soon as possible, you should be fine otherwise.

[ One thing for sure though... ] I don't think you should rely on resurrection or getting into stasis to maintain your well being, regardless of what you are.

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[ semi-open ] and sometimes we sing to the dawn

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adra's mouth is here at last

yes good

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