A sad state of affairs, really. Children need to climb things. It's good for their growing muscles.

[ Even so, he gently nudges away yet another little moppet grasping for his ears. He frowns as Alice goes on, looking back towards her, his eyes soft with concern. ]

Really?

[ What kind of awful place are you from? But he refrains from saying it. He's capable of restraint, now and then. ]

Well, we'll just have to fix that, won't we.