[open] FILTERED FROM AMY 99% UNHACKABLE. THIS IS WHAT YOU DESERVE.

[convictionary]

Who: Gaius and you guys know who you are.
When: After the dungeon.
Where: Petrosian
What: After dungeonmath party with possible goats or something.
Rating: Rated G for Generic!

So I was thinkin- crivens, hold on.

[That was his milkshake that was just finished. Some things are more important than having heart to heart conversations and/or getting mugged by mergoats and one of them is a milkshake.]

Comments

TOO LATE godmods this post and totally hacks it

[hoasen]

[She didn't even get a word in when some bandit on a mergoat totally just snatched Gaius' milkshake out of his hand.

His milkshake sure brought that boy to the yard.]

Do you want me to shoot him...?

[She does have a sniper rifle, and they were meant to take down the bandits.]

[kyusei]

You know, that was your third milkshake.

[ Takumi has never had a milkshake before, but thought it would be cool to try out. Gaius seemed to wholesomely rave about it. Why not?

... It's actually good. Takumi is kind of surprised that they kind of got mugged(?). Well, it's not like they took their colle or anything. ]

Jeez. We can just get another one.

You asshole.

[convictionary]

Yeeee-...

[Right, apparently he took on the bandit job now. In answer, he looks at the cashier, who's frantically shaking his head 'no,' perhaps sensing Gaius' question of if they can get a replacement or not.]

...nah, we gotta follow...him? [Is it a him?] Him and find out where the rest of those bandits are coming from.

[convictionary]

...

[...]

...you buying, Fins?

[Because if not they're going on a mergoat fetchquest.]

I'M INNOCENT

[hoasen]

[They're going to make money now! Since they have to get Gaius' milkshake back now that he's been refused a replacement. The service in this place kind of blows.]

Alright then, I suppose we must be fast. They're riding a...mergoat.

[He, She, Them. It doesn't matter in the face of justice. But she's ready to parkour and tug him along if need be. He should be able to withstand it. Being a Rook and all.]

Uh.

[convictionary]

[He can parkour to some extent but he doesn't have super speed-]

Let's go.

[So he'll probably be dubconned parkoured in a second.]

i can't believe u

[hoasen]

Alright, then keep a firm hold--

[And she totally takes his hand so he's dubconned into parkour. They're leaping (like ninjas) over rooftops just so they can find that thief again!

She made sure that he was comfortable and everything, or at least as much as one could if you're leaping across buildings like gravity was never discovered.]

[topkong]

... who steals a milkshake?

[ It's not like it was the Most Valuable Milkshake, unless it was the True MVM? What does Wukong even know, anyway. ]

Also--- no words at all! That's so lame... why not something like "your money or your life"?

[ Or: "your GP or your HP". ]

[kyusei]

Aren't you a veteran? Also, I told you my name is Takumi.

[ STOP LOOKING AT HIM LIKE THAT? He holds his milkshake away from Gaius now. ]

I'm pretty sure you can afford another milkshake.

[nomicrequired]

H-Hey! Come back here-!

[They were having an important conversation and then?????? Out of nowhere Gaius's drink is snatched up what???? He leaps up out of his chair to yell too, but doesn't take off running.

Considering that he doesn't even know what a mergoat is, maybe he's just going to let this one go. He calms down after being struck with the thought of seeing a bandit on a strange animal just steal a milkshake. Stuff here is 2weird4him.]

...Maybe pretending we never saw that is a better option.

[convictionary]

My candy!

[Vietnam, why. The precariously balanced peppermint stick in his left boot tumbled into the river, as the thief headed to...fuck if I know. Let's say a certain alchemy shop and he might be tapping her to chill her roll (as he dismounted from his mergoat and melted into the crowds) because they might as well get all of them.]

[convictionary]

Crivens, wasn't...wasn't there a job about these bastards, Fuzz?

[On one hand, he could get another milkshake. On the other hand, this was personal.]

[convictionary]

[That holding away the milkshake part just gets his attention.]

It's just a friendly nickname, is all. I give 'em to most everyone.

[Eventually he'll remember that there's mergoat bandits up as a job but eh. For now he's preoccupied with the most important of things - stupid banter.]

Gods, the way you go on about it it makes a man think that you get your name mixed up all the time and it's some kind of thing or something.

[convictionary]

[It was really important. Plus, he needed someone else to go with him while he ordered a milkshake and one of those squishy jelly things that tasted like strawberries with the crumbly pastry outside. (Seriously, while he had mixed feelings on Caissa and all he did enjoy the dessert opportunities that opened up before him.)]

Probably. [Then, quieter.] Keep your carrier quiet else they might make us run after it- wasn't there something about a goat? [On the board, as a thing.]

[kyusei]

It's a horrible nickname... The only one that would understand it is you.

[ And it also brings horrible memories of his first day here. Never again is he going to offer a helping hand during a festival without asking for further information.

There's some grumbling as he sips some of his milkshake, scowling immensely. After some sulking, he shoots a leer at Gaius. ]

Are you going to chase after that bandit or what?

[nomicrequired]

[He'd made quite a bit of colle already this month by helping the relief efforts. And while his sense of justice here says to go after that guy, he's on a mount and they're not and Apollo is quick to realize that there's no way he's going to be able to catch it.]

I think so. We should at least report it. There's no way we can catch him now, not on foot.

[And he's in no mood for that kind of thing right now anyway. No mood at all.]

[topkong]

When did they start becoming milkshake bandits and not color bandits?... unless... what kind of milkshake did you have?

[ How pertinent is this? When did Wukong become a Junior Detective? ]

[scythersergeant]

You gotta give 'em points for guts.

[She snerks at Gaius from a table away, wandering over to assess the damage. There's an iced tea in her hand, but when another goat eyes it she glares and hisses and unsheathes enough of a sword that the thing backs off.]

[hoasen]

Oh! I'm sorry, Gaius! I'll get you another after--!

[A peppermint stick should be affordable! And ah, there they go to [REDACTED]...which is really the name of the alchemy shop they're actually heading to now that he told her to slow down.

It's time to sneak over, but for now lets them stay up on the rooftops so they can see where that bandit is going.]

Did he just enter that alchemy shop?

[convictionary]

Gods, are you crazy? I'm not gonna run after that guy.

[What is wrong with you! He's comfy. In fact, he's shifting in his seat to emphasize the comfyness.] If he'd stolen something...else, that'll be one thing, but a milkshake? That's lost.

[convictionary]

Maybe later. If we're lucky, somebody else'll take care of it for us.

[And he rolls his neck and let's say up until this point he was answering questions about the bird dungeon, two months ago, and then-] So, how'd it go for you?

[convictionary]

Chocolate and lavender.

[It's said dark and quickly.]

I won't lie, Fuzz. I was growing to kind of like it.

[convictionary]

Yeah, but- crivens, it was a milkshake.

[For the record, he's saying it not like, "It was a milkshake and thus unimportant in the grand scale of things - what's important is that we escape with our lives." He's saying it like, "It was a fucking tasty treat."]

Wasn't there something about...? [He's reaching for his fan. He's not fucking around in a few seconds.]

[kyusei]

Didn't say you'll do anything to steal a candy from a baby?

[ Takumi is obviously remembering it wrong. It's something similar though, he's sure of it! He only raises a hand to catch a waitress and calls for another milkshake for Gaius. ]

What happened to all that devotion, huh?

[scythersergeant]

What?

There WAS a job listing mentioning mergoats, if that was what you're asking about.

[She looks at Gaius, then she looks at the goat with his lactose-filled delicacy. If she can even see that goat anymore.]

You wanna get your shake back? You better hurry. Hot weather round this time of year, everyone loves a free milkshake.