[OPEN] Actually, It Better Be Raw

[dorarara]

Who: Josuke and YOU
When: Between 4/4 and 4/15
Where: Capablanca
What: Who knew chefs were this particular? Actually no, that's a lie, Josuke knows full well just how fussy they can be - he's ended up scrubbing an entire kitchen for one before. But here, he gets the feeling a clean stove doesn't justify bruised ingredients. Also no, he's not touching that fish, sorry.
Rating: PG??

A

Fourteen green apples from the farmer...

[Perched on a fence, Josuke ticks the top item off his shopping list, and pockets his pen. Chef Sayram was rather clear on the condition in which his ingredients would be brought back. There were to be no bruises, no dents, no torn leaves. Even the fish were to be fully intact - no missing scales (??????).

Tonio, a chef Josuke befriended back home, was rather strict about what went on his kitchen too, but this Sayram's a whole new level of batshit.]

How the hell am I supposed to know whether these apples are tart or whatever?

[Is what he says after he takes a bite from one of those fourteen apples he's supposed to be bringing back to Sayram. Surely he doesn't need all fourteen, does he?

Tearing off a piece, he'll hand it out to your character as they pass.]

Hey, does this have a "tarty" taste to you?

[Or whatever it was he said.]

B

[Fishing. It isn't so much the idea of it that makes Josuke recoil into himself. In fact, he rather likes the idea of sitting by the river, idily watching the day go by. After his recent efforts - the chaos at Palamede, the dungeon, then the repairs in Palamede - he feels he deserves that much, at least.

Except now he's reeled in a fish. It wasn't hard to pull in, and sure, it isn't the biggest, but something gives him pause all the same.

If your character's wandering by, he's standing by the river, fishing rod in one hand, the other outstretched, ready but not quite willing to pull the flailing fish off the hook. It's just... so gross, you know? Look at how it's writhing! And it's probably all slimy and slippery smooth too! ....Ah, just the thought of it sends a shiver down his spine.

JOJO SWEATING INTENSIFIES ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ

Someone please help him.]

C: WILDCARD

[Wanna try knocking down that bee hive to get that sweet, sweet honey within? How about mushroom picking? Wanna compare their reward lunchboxes? Hit me up with anything, or send me a PM or a PP at paako and we can hash something out!]

Comments

A

[rollin]

[ Yata's carrying a basket of blue apples, not touching any of them like Chef Sayram told him when Josuke stops him to get his opinion on apples. He doesn't think much of it, so Yata shoots back a ]

What the fuck does "tart" taste like?

[ But he takes a piece and eats it anyway. ]

It's good, I guess. Hey, gimme another one. [ Because the word "please" doesn't exist. ]

[dorarara]

[A shrug is Yata's initial response before Josuke tears off another piece and hands it over.]

I dunno, Sayram seemed pretty stressed. [A mild way of putting it.] Felt like he'd tear me a new one if I asked.

[rollin]

[ Yata's response is a loud, crisp bite into the juicy green apple. That's two apples less the ones Josuke started with. ]

As long as they taste good, it's fine, yeah? They got a lotta weird fruits around these parts...

[ Since he's here, he might as well get a second opinion. Once he sets his own basket of blue apples down, he polishes one on his shirt before tossing it to Josuke. ]

Here, try this one.

[dorarara]

[Is Josuke worried his apple count is going down? No. But he probably should be. He makes a rather surprised sound when the apple is tossed to him, managing to catch it, but having to steady himself immediately. Then he's inspecting it, rolling it around in his hands.]

It's... blue. [Y...es.] It's safe to eat, right?

[rollin]

Yeah, yeah. [ Yata answers with a wave of his hand, telling him to go ahead. ] It's good!

[ He hasn't tried it, but he figures it is. ]

[dorarara]

Okay...

[He's a little unsure, admittedly, but if Sayram wanted them, surely they're good, right? So... he'll lift it to his mouth and take a cautionary bite......and immediately recoil.]

What the hell, it's spicy!

[Not that he can't take the heat, just that he wasn't expecting it.]

[rollin]

Woah, really!?

[ For someone who said it was good, he looks genuinely surprised. He drops his half-eaten green apple in the basket and grabs a blue apple of his own to take a bite. True enough, a burning flavor dances on his tongue. What is that? ]

Oh man, that's so cool! [ HE EATS MORE. Spicy apples! ]

[dorarara]

Wha-- dude, you said you tried it!

[Well no, Josuke, he didn't say those exact words...]

What if these made like... I dunno, hair start sproutin' outta my nose?

1/2

[rollin]

[ He snorts. ] You worry too much. Obviously they wouldn't be growing weird shit on this farm if they wanted us to eat it. Now that we know they're great, all we gotta do is get 'em to the chef and—

[rollin]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! You dumbass! We shouldn't be eating these!

[dorarara]

What? What're you talkin' abo--

[It takes a few seconds for Josuke to catch on, but when he does:]

Aaaahhhh!!! [Ah yes, two dumb teens yelling into the horizon. Beautiful....] S-shit, we gotta get more, we gotta get more right now, c'mon!

[rollin]

Hey, don't boss me around! Follow me!

[ Because only he's allowed to be pushy, apparently. He picks up his basket and starts walking ahead, expecting Josuke to be right behind him. ]

I saw some green apples on my way here.

B

[topkong]

[ Strolling on by, he can't help but notice the man just staring at a hooked fish and not making the effort to remove it off the hook? Color Wukong confused (which could be a fine banana yellow or a nice light monkey fur brown) as he turns on a heel and slowly approaches with a confused, eyebrow raised expression. ]

You okay? I mean, you did the hard part... catching it. Now you just have to pull the hook out and you're good!

[ Why does he have to explain this? It's a mystery??? ]

[dorarara]

[When Josuke turns to look at the stranger - a monkey??? Well, guess he's seen stranger things - his expression is a strange combination of taut and awkward.]

Yeah, but--

It's super gross.

[topkong]

But you've eaten fish before, right?

[ Who would've thought that a hooked fish would be this intimidating. ]

Do you want me to take care of this for you? Or... are you not up for the task?

[dorarara]

Well yeah, but I didn't have to touch it when it was alive.

[He didn't have to cook it either... Most he can do is cup ramen and like... white rice. Maybe fry an egg if he's up for it.]

Look, if you can help me out- [And not give him crap for it afterwards (though this means please give him all the crap about it afterwards).] -then I'd appreciate it.

[topkong]

[ At least Wukong doesn't have to cook it. He just has to take it off the hook. How hard could it be?

With a noncommittal shrug, he goes right up to Josuke and holds out his hands. ]

Fork it over, then.

[ Oh, there will be crap.

Not literally. ]

[dorarara]

Here.

[Aaaand here, Josuke will thrust the rod out, dangling the fish within Wukong's grasp. It should be noted he's holding it as far from him as physically possible, because look, maybe it'll flail extra hard or something, HE NEEDS TO MAKE SURE HE'S SAFE.]

[topkong]

[ FLAIL EXTRA HARD YOU SAY ]

Alright. The trick is to be quick, because there are a few things that could go wrong with this whole thing. Now, when you get your hands on it---

[ It goes without saying that fish are slippery with scales and usually being wet. What probably isn't said is that, the more one doesn't want something to happen... well, it does. And it's really unfortunate because as Wukong grabs the fish and unhooks it with relative ease, it thrashes wildly. It slips out of Wukong's grip easily, because of his underestimation! But where does it go???

Flying at Josuke's face.

RIP. ]

b!!!

[hoasen]

[She sure is wandering by right now. Since he's a familiar face, she raises a hand to wave, and calls out to him.]

Josuke!

[Except when she walks up to him, she notices that he's not...doing anything?]

Is something the matter?

[dorarara]

[The voice is familiar, but honestly, even if it weren't, Josuke would have turned with the same uncomfortable look on his face anyway.]

Vietnaaaam.

[Will he ever get used to saying her name as the name of a person and not a country? The world may never know.]

I can't get this guy off.

[hoasen]

[Now he gets to be more emotional anyway. And who knows! Maybe she should just give him her human name, it's not like she hasn't.]

You want to get him off? [He's having trouble? She could easier do it though.]

If you just pull him over here, I can do it.

[dorarara]

Can you?

[He brightens rather considerably at the offer, not even the slightest bit worried about what this might do to his ~image~. At least he's aware of this flaw of his okay, but he just can't help it.

Approaching, he holds the rod out, dangling the fish within Vietnam's reach.]

Shit, thanks. This thing's just so nasty.

[hoasen]

Of course! It is not the first time I've had to touch fish. [After all, she cooks! So she reaches out when he pulls the rod over to her. Josuke, you poor poor dude.

She starts removing the fish from the hook.]

There, it is not so hard. A little slimy but nothing that can't be washed.

[dorarara]

[And with a rather uncomfortable, strangled noise, he holds the rod even further from him.]

But it's all... wriggly and squirmy and slippery. That doesn't bother you?

[hoasen]

[And removing! She even holds it firmly so she can put it into his bucket for him.]

Not at all. I cook a lot! So I handle fish on a regular basis. I understand that it is not pleasant, though.

B

[catfishtail]

[Namazuo's still out looking for edibles when he notices Josuke by the river...and the fish just dangling there.]

Do you need help with the fish? [It's a bit telling that he doesn't even blink at the sight of a slimy fish writing in midair...]

[dorarara]

Could you?!

[Ah, he's a little quick to jump on that offer. The desperation is real.]

[catfishtail]

No problem!

[Namazuo takes the fish in a firm grip--he's been practicing, since his own weapon is kind of slippery--and proceeds to unhook it from the line.]

There! See? It's not so bad. [However, he's saying that while the fish still wriggles in his hand...]

[dorarara]

[And at that, a hand rises to his mouth. L-look at it go, ugh, it's even worse than when it was on the hook--]

Are you kidding?! Isn't it slimy?

[catfishtail]

Kind of, but it's not so bad once you get used to it. [His weapon's slimy too, so he's had practice.]

[dorarara]

Yeah, I'm gonna have to pass on that. [But...] Wait, so what do we do now? Just... let it suffocate, or what?

[Yeah, so guess who hasn't actually been fishing before? What a well thought out plan.]

[catfishtail]

I guess so! Unless you want to just cut its head off right now. [Namazuo, no...]

A

[armorial]

[ Uhh... It's not every day a piece of green apple is shoved into your face. She's reluctant, but takes the piece and nibbles on it quietly. If this would help someone, she might as well. ]

Raw green apples are supposed to be tart. [ She adds another form of reassurance. ] This apple is no different.

[dorarara]

Is it?

[He looks down at the apple in his hand, then back up.]

So... tart's supposed to be a sour kinda taste? Why not just say sour?

[armorial]

[ How... Does she explain it? She was never one for teaching anyone anything, however no harm in attempts. There's some silence as she collects her thoughts, but she's still looking up at him. ]

Think of it as sour being the broader term. "Tart" is a specific kind of sour, used primarily for acidic fruits. [ Does that answer it? Does that make sense? ]

A

[tsunetsugu]

[ Josuke please. Juzumaru is a rather easy face to recognize as his long hair and prayer beads hang from his neck. He'll pause when offered the apple piece, his eyes still closed but the way he tilts his head suggests curiosity.

He takes the apple without saying much, only nodding, before he bites into it. ]

It is a bit sour and sweet at the same time. I believe that is what they call...tart? I am not quite familiar with flavors such as these. Forgive me, I have not had this body for very long.

[dorarara]

Oh... nah, that's okay, long as it tastes the way it's supposed to.

[Guess which part of Juzumaru's statement went right over his head? At least until--]

Wait, what?

[tsunetsugu]

[ He nods and might actually smile a bit. ]

I am a tsukumogami. A spirit that has lived within a sword for over a hundred years. I have only recently been summoned by my master back home before being brought here. Much of what I have seen thus far has been new to me.