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insert bird pun here (OPEN)
Who: Robin Hood, a flock of robins, and anyone unfortunate enough to somehow get roped into this.
When: Mid-September /vaguely waves hand
Where: Gammon
What: Introducing the new band, Robin and the Robins
Rating: N/A
[Robin's ranked up recently. People who actually bother to speak to this cactus of a man might have already noticed he swapped out his badge, but he hasn't made any announcements or anything, and he doesn't plan to make one any time soon.
He might not need to, though, as it turns out. He's a Bishop with the Tamer specialization, and his charming ability has gone haywire. Fortunately, while numerous, the animals he's attracted aren't dangerous or anything. In some cosmic joke he finds extremely unfunny, he's being followed by a little more than 30 robins. He can be found in various states of torment throughout the day...]
a. birdemic: shock and terror
[Taking a leaf out of his Carrier's book, the flock of robins crowding his shoulders and arms has become extremely possessive of their mark, chirping angrily at and occasionally trying to attack people who get too close. He's not about to let this happen, but whenever he tries to shoo them away or intervene in a divebombing attempt, the ire of the entire flock turns on him instead.
It's pretty funny, actually.]
b. beaks: the movie
[If it looks like a crowd of small birds has somehow intimidated a grown-ass man to hide like a coward, it's because that's exactly what happened.
The robins have all perched on a roof somewhere, clearly agitated, their collective tweets and titters almost deafening. They've lost sight of Robin, who's managed to lose them around the corner of an alleyway for a while. Every once in a while he'll peer out only to quickly duck back behind the wall, cursing under his breath once he sees they're still there. His hands are loosely cupped together, his Carrier's head poking out from between his fingers. Marian's been picking fights with the robins ever since they showed up, and letting her go would risk getting her hurt, but more importantly, it might give him away.]
Could you chill for five seconds, maybe...
[Regrettably, his Carrier, like Robin himself, has no chill to give.]
c. poultrygeist: night of the chicken dead
[By this point, he's given up. Nothing he's managed to do has convinced them to leave, so he's settled down somewhere, covered in small sleeping birds, grouchily smoking a cigarette. His Carrier has somehow managed to boot them all out of her favorite spot atop his head, one bluebird amid a veritable swarm of robins. It'd almost be cute, if the person they were all over weren't so obviously displeased with the situation. Anyone who spends more than a second or two staring gets a nasty glare from Robin, who's little more than a glorified birdhouse at this point.]
Keep walking.
d. alfred hitchcock's the birds
[the wildcard option.]
When: Mid-September /vaguely waves hand
Where: Gammon
What: Introducing the new band, Robin and the Robins
Rating: N/A
[Robin's ranked up recently. People who actually bother to speak to this cactus of a man might have already noticed he swapped out his badge, but he hasn't made any announcements or anything, and he doesn't plan to make one any time soon.
He might not need to, though, as it turns out. He's a Bishop with the Tamer specialization, and his charming ability has gone haywire. Fortunately, while numerous, the animals he's attracted aren't dangerous or anything. In some cosmic joke he finds extremely unfunny, he's being followed by a little more than 30 robins. He can be found in various states of torment throughout the day...]
a. birdemic: shock and terror
[Taking a leaf out of his Carrier's book, the flock of robins crowding his shoulders and arms has become extremely possessive of their mark, chirping angrily at and occasionally trying to attack people who get too close. He's not about to let this happen, but whenever he tries to shoo them away or intervene in a divebombing attempt, the ire of the entire flock turns on him instead.
It's pretty funny, actually.]
b. beaks: the movie
[If it looks like a crowd of small birds has somehow intimidated a grown-ass man to hide like a coward, it's because that's exactly what happened.
The robins have all perched on a roof somewhere, clearly agitated, their collective tweets and titters almost deafening. They've lost sight of Robin, who's managed to lose them around the corner of an alleyway for a while. Every once in a while he'll peer out only to quickly duck back behind the wall, cursing under his breath once he sees they're still there. His hands are loosely cupped together, his Carrier's head poking out from between his fingers. Marian's been picking fights with the robins ever since they showed up, and letting her go would risk getting her hurt, but more importantly, it might give him away.]
Could you chill for five seconds, maybe...
[Regrettably, his Carrier, like Robin himself, has no chill to give.]
c. poultrygeist: night of the chicken dead
[By this point, he's given up. Nothing he's managed to do has convinced them to leave, so he's settled down somewhere, covered in small sleeping birds, grouchily smoking a cigarette. His Carrier has somehow managed to boot them all out of her favorite spot atop his head, one bluebird amid a veritable swarm of robins. It'd almost be cute, if the person they were all over weren't so obviously displeased with the situation. Anyone who spends more than a second or two staring gets a nasty glare from Robin, who's little more than a glorified birdhouse at this point.]
Keep walking.
d. alfred hitchcock's the birds
[the wildcard option.]
b
Unfortunately, there's the sound of rustling nearby as another bird emerges from beneath some garbage bags in that same alley. At first its only interest seems to be in attempting to rip open one of the bags it was under just a moment ago, but it quickly turns to Robin and gives him a curious look, head tilted.
It hops forward once.
And again.
And then just stares, totally quiet.]
no subject
Maybe if he sidles away behind this pile of trash he'll be able to avoid it.]
no subject
OIIIIIIII!! You miserable little pile of springs, where did you run off to this time??
[It's distant, but she's living up to her name of being loud as hell. The clockwork bird suddenly dives beneath some trash once again, as within four or five seconds Nobunaga is stood at the entrance to the alleyway.]
Does everyone else have to put up with this kind of useless carrier nonsense? Honestly...
[She hasn't noticed Robin yet, but...
She sure is attracting a lot of attention with that lack of volume control.]
If you're in here, you better show yourself. I'll pick you apart piece by piece if I have to sort through garbage just to find you.
no subject
On one hand, Loud Archer is pretty annoying, so if he can just stay hidden, he might not have to deal with her at all. But if he doesn't say anything, and she finds him anyway, he gets the feeling that would be worse, somehow...maybe if he tells her where her Carrier is, she'll politely thank him and leave?
Haha, no, he doesn't know her all that well yet, but he knows enough to be certain that would never happen. It might expedite her leaving, regardless, though, since it means less search time...there's not really any way to avoid interacting with her, so he might as well try to make it as quick as possible. He peers out from behind his trash pile and points at the bag her Carrier was picking at earlier.]
It went beneath those trash bags.
no subject
[Well, that's not what she expected. Usually when you run into people in alleyways it ends fairly poorly, but...]
It's you. [Nope, her attention is wholly on him now.] You're not lurking about looking for marks or something, are you?
no subject
[If his dry tone wasn't enough to indicate his sarcasm, the fact that he doesn't move from his spot would be.]
You idiot. If I were doing something like that, I'd be somewhere with, I dunno, people around? Difficult to find someone to kill if it's just you and a ton of garbage.
[Hahaha, he thinks he and the garbage aren't the same thing. It's adorable.]
no subject
[Did she really, or is she just saying that to piss him off.
Who knows.]
So what're you hiding from?
no subject
[Thirty stalkers.]
It seems like my good looks are working against me.
[And by "good looks" he means his hair, mostly, which they've been trying to nest in all day.]
What the hell was your Carrier doing in the trash, by the way? They say pets start resembling their owners after a while...
[Not that he's THAT interested in the answer, it's just kind of funny.]
no subject
[She approaches the bags he'd pointed out and crouches down, realising there's a tiny metal bird leg sticking out from under it. Nobunaga drags her carrier out from underneath it, standing up fully and just holding it upside down, as it flaps its wings frantically.]
Guda's an idiot, that's why. It eats things it can't eat, it hides in trash...maybe it's busted or something.
[To which it follows up with a rather loud, shrill cry of:]
NOBU.
no subject
[He seems a little distraught by the noise Guda makes, though, glancing up toward the sky with a grimace.
...It seems like it's safe for now, at least.]
no subject
Aliens...?!
No, probably not. But she still holds her bird out in the same direction he'd looked and just...
squeezes.
To which it once again screeches, louder this time.]
no subject
[Robin is whisper-yelling, all of a sudden. He's about to insult her again when he hears the sound of a huge number of wings flapping, and he dives behind a garbage can just in time to avoid the robins' gazes.
Regrettably, a few of them actually bother to check the alleyway, and with a single triumphant cheep from one of them, all thirty or so converge and make Robin their perch, nestling against him and tweeting affectionately.
The look Robin shoots Nobunaga might be more venemous than some of his actual poisons.]
1/2
no subject
[She's just in hysterics over here. Nobunaga drops her carrier and rests one hand against the wall behind her, doubled over in laughter.]
N-no...no, I can't...!! Th-that's a good look for you!! R-really!! You really are tree archer, a-aren't you...?! I don't believe this...!!! I'm going to die! I'm seriously going to die over here...!!!
no subject
[THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAVE POSSIBLY HAPPENED.]